See giant monkey Shoot at the giant monkey Giant monkey mad I only watched it because when vacationing in Hawaii, we saw the set. My son predicted that we’d see a helicopter in a tree. Because we’d seen that at the set. Predictable movie but the fight scenes were worth it.

Intro was too long Boyd Crowder drops some f bombs Oh my god, so long

The only good part Chuck Norris showed up and told A Chuck Norris Joke

Has Kim Jong seen this? He’s crazy enough to try Wolverine beats NORK

Nazis from the moon Many political jabs It’s so bad, it’s good

Been called the greatest Hero movie of all time I agree. Hulk smash Also, my daughter decided to do a “book review” of it. I think she nailed it (spoilers ahead, stop now): And, also, that scene where Hulk whips Loki’s ass is one of the greatest ass-whipping scenes in cinematic history.

Like the running man Meets reality TV Each scene was too long

Mousy little guy Becomes massive studly guy Too much CGI

Rise of the Planet of the Apes Humans act human While apes start acting human John Lithgow not dead

Look here, young lady Haiku review is my shtick Those look disgusting

Cowboys & Aliens: Independence Day With many western cliches Need more syllables

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil: Stupid college kids Hillbillies are people too This vacation sucks Seriously, one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while. I recommend it.

Wanted to like it But I just couldn’t do it So rushed it was dull

God gets all pissed off Sends angel army to earth They’re like smart zombies

All these action stars Together in one movie And it was all meh

Move over Hit Girl You have some competition For youngster bad ass

Norse mythology Now with more blacks and Asians Learned to say Mjölnir

I didn’t watch it Because the disc wouldn’t let Me skip commercials.

Hey, that’s my gimmick. And haiku sucks anyway Yugoslavian

The apocalypse Without all the zombies; but Redneck cannibals

All of this could have Been avoided if you had Answered the door armed

A zombie movie From the zombies’ perspective It’s so bad, it’s good Ok, a bit more. I actually liked this movie. It was campy as hell but decently done. Interesting story line makes for good comedy. I wonder if Mexican brains are spicy. Oooh, picante.

Here’s some random words To make this post a haiku On the movie: Meh

Liked it at the start Needs more zombie killing now And far less drama

Haiku is quite odd Use words just because they fit Snuffleupagus Update: Justin in comments: Haikus are easy But sometimes they don’t make sense Refrigerator Heh.

Started as a gag Now, I cannot help myself Haiku really sucks

Yobs out of control England’s dumb gun control laws Are kinda scoffed at Also, it occurred to me that the fantasy vigilante movie theme always seems to occur in places where there’s a lot of gun laws. I mean, there’s never been a movie about the vigilante justice in Kennesaw, Georgia. Then it occurred to […]

Just like the first one Really, it’s identical I am not kidding

Beer haiku: the blog Is not as surprising as Beer haiku: the book

Thought it would kick ass Because the first one did rock So disappointing