I was once a heavy smoker. Then I became one of those drinker-smokers (who smokes when drinking) for a long time. Then, in the last couple of months, I kind of started doing it more and more again. That was mostly due to the lack of a job and more free time than in the past. The occasional smoke with a beer became one with morning coffee. Then one after lunch, etc. until I was smoking more. A lot more.
So, I’ve decided it’s time to just plain quit entirely. That means no more occasional smokes or I’m just one stressful situation from taking it up again. The issue is that, even though I can cut down, I can’t just plain stop completely, mostly because I fucking love to smoke. I basically want to quit because Junior is old enough to start figuring out what I’m doing on the back porch after dinner. And, let’s face it, it’s bad for you.
And, of course, as I type this I’m sitting on said screened in porch at 10:16 on Sunday (kids and wife in bed) enjoying a glass of Knob Creek bourbon and smoking. Said quitting should commence tomorrow.
I have a friend who quit for three months. I went by his house for poker one night and he had started again. I said Dude, you quit for months. Why’d you start again? I thought you had it beat. He said Because smoking was all I thought about. I can’t spend the rest of my life wanting something so bad I can’t stand it. That’s sort of what I fear. See, with the occasional smoking thing, I’d not worry about it because I knew when I got home, I’d pop open a frosty cold Sam Adams, sit on the screened-in porch and smoke. I would smoke eventually, just not all the time. And there are so many activities that are associated with smoking, such as morning coffee and this glass of Knob Creek. Maybe I’ll take up the occasional cigar. Or chew gum. Or, you now, crack.
I went to the doctor and asked about Zyban since others recommend it so highly for quitting smoking. My doctor (and this is why I love my doctor, who is a good ol’ country boy with an MD) said: You just need to cowboy up and quit. You can do anything for two weeks and after that, it’s gone. He’s not a fan of Zyban, I suppose. He also explained that cigarettes give you a fairly intense rush (you don’t notice it but your body does) and said a good way to quit is to level that rush. He said the patch was good for that and to avoid the gum because it mimics the rush. The patch gives a steady dose of nicotine throughout the day and, basically, you get over the habit part first and that is followed by getting over the nicotine addiction part. I think getting over the habit is more important than getting over the drug addiction part.
So, I bought the patch. One problem is I can’t get them to roll up tight enough to light. Any ideas?