Bitter has some.

As a reasonably successful (though I’m in a tight niche) blogger, I get lots of emails, chats, carrier pigeons, seeking links and promotion and whatnot. Here’s a handy guide on how to not get me to link to you ever:

First, automatically sign me up for your newsletter. That’s right. I love getting newsletters I never, ever signed up for. I love it like all other spam. And that’s exactly how I treat these. I label them as spam in gmail. Gmail remembers that and also uses that to classify your item as spam by other readers.

Send me your off-topic press release plugging a political candidate or political position. This is particularly effective when you can read my blog and tell pretty quickly that I find that particular candidate to be a shit head and that particular position to be retarded.

Similarly, put me on your mass email list. At least then, I take solace in the fact that I am part of a larger group of similarly annoyed people.

Send me an email every time you post something. You’re at least one step below spam in that you’re at least adding a personal touch to it. But, still, not a good plan. Occasional emails are good. Sending me one every time you have a funny story about your cat, not so much.

Up next, send me a link to your post on an issue/current event without even checking my site to see if I already covered it. Wow, not only are you annoying me, you’re also not even taking the time to read my site before annoying me.

Be a dickhead. If anyone dares disagree with you, become a frothy mouthed twit. Delete comments and call other peoples’ moms’ names. Of course, in this case, you could have a future working for the Brady Campaign. This will typically get you one link but it will be the last.

Ask for a spot on the blogroll, after all you were nice enough to link me! First, blogrolls don’t generally generate a lot of traffic. Second, no. I read what I read and that’s in my blogroll. Sorry, but if I put a link to everyone who asked, my page would be too long to load. Thems the breaks.

Ok, you’ve finally convinced me to read. So, now is a good time to drop off the face of the earth and not update again for like a month. That ensures I probably won’t be back next time.

And, no, I don’t mean you. I mean that other guy.

On a more serious note, how to get a link is pretty easy:

1- Buy an ad, guaranteed to work every time; unless you’re a truther or other total douchebag.

2 – And this requires some effort: plug your post not your blog. And don’t plug every post you ever write. For instance, I’m more likely to link to something if the email goes something like:

Hey Uncle,

I noticed you were talking about X. Well, regarding X, I think Y . . . (then some detail)

3) Piss me off. Say something so irretrievably stupid that I simply cannot resist the urge to tell everybody on the internets how much smarter than you I am.

4) Leave insightful comments here. If you do, your name will usually show your URL. And I’ll think to myself Self, that is one smart cracker. I better check him/her out.

So, there you have it.

And, again, I don’t mean you. I mean that other guy.

Via Larry, the Gun Doctor is offering free duracoating.

If any of you use him, tell him I sent you because I think I want a pink Glock.

If this is legitimate, it looks like Traveler’s Insurance canceled a policy because the policy holder owned an assault rifle.

Breda and her hubby went to the national matches. Cool pics.

Robert is there stealing their pens.

Here’s NRABlog’s Camp Perry Live Blog.

Of pure evil.

Police in Florida are lining up to get nationally recognized permits as part of the Law Enforcement Officers Safety Act of 2004.

Kel-Tec PLR

We must all stop manbearpig.

Women of the IDF.

See here. That’s what I was talking about here.

Quote: so I went over there and attempted to reason with them.

And failed. Apparently, not only is there confusion regarding what I said but there is also confusion about what constitutes reason. You see, I did not argue that a gun would have helped in this shooting. In fact, I said the opposite. Quite easy to dismantle an argument that you’ve made up yourself.

And, regarding your target, focus on your front sight and gently squeeze the trigger. From the paper target shown, it looks like you’re snapping the trigger.

Heller is suing DC once again because their new laws aren’t much better than the old ones.

On the church shooting, I have only posted information as I got it. The only post I did in which I wasn’t relaying some bit of info I found and was giving my opinion was when I noted why I carry at church. Some, of course, took this to mean that I was blaming victims because they chose not to be armed; or that I live in fear; or that I was saying that if one person had been armed this could have been prevented; or that I’m delusional; or gay. These people are all idiots. But I digress. I suppose it’s because I’m a gun blogger that a few folks expect that or something. They expect it so greatly that, even when it’s not here, they see it.

Anyway, my thoughts on the actual event are that a gun would not have made one lick of difference either way. The lunatic walked in and got off 2.5 shots. His third reportedly hit the ceiling because he was busy getting physically restrained by some brave men and women at the church. He was getting his ass kicked by pacifists.

The only difference another citizen with a gun would have made in this particular case is that instead of going to jail for three hots and a cot, Jim D. Adkisson would be going to the morgue.

The people who subdued him did so quickly and bravely. And hats off to them for that!

But kinda creepy.

Beats the 30 ft tall inflatable gorillas I keep seeing on Alcoa Highway.

From undisclosed sources but, apparently, the shooter’s wife attended that church and she had an order of protection out against him.

Michael Silence:

In a 10 a.m. press conference I just watched, Knoxville Police Chief Sterling P. Owen IV said Jim D. Adkisson singled out the church for its support of “liberal” and “gay” issues.

Yup. Looks like some homophobia. Also, police recovered 76 shotgun shells. He got off three of them before being subdued.

After our local shooting, some items:

The KNS has issues with comments: My publisher sent me several emails over the weekend about complaints about hateful, invective, acidic and just generally mean-spirited reader comments on our newspaper Web sites.

On me: Maryville Gun Blogger blames the victims (without explcitly [sic] saying so he really didn’t and you are a goddam [sic] commie for suggesting it).

Talk about politicizing: Wouldn’t surprise me if he had an Obama sign in his front yard.

Greg McKendry took a shotgun blast to protect those behind him. He died a hero.

Why would you ever need one?

via David.

Ahab has video.

Remember that case in Roane County? Well, it ended in mistrial.

This morning’s local talk radio interviewed a lady who was at the church during the shooting. She stated that the shooter got off the first shot, then the second, and the third shot was into the air because people were already taking the shooter down. She said the whole shooting part took less than five seconds.

Also, reports are coming out about the shooter, Jim D. Adkisson. Apparently, he didn’t like churches or Christianity. And one of his neighbors called in local talk radio this morning to say that the guy had, in the past, expressed anger at the fact that the Bible was confusing and contradictory. Maybe. But I think the Bible is pretty clear on that whole shall not kill thing.

Michael Silence has a round up of news, including that police found a letter from the shooter that may detail exactly why this crazy fuck is a crazy fuck.

Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations on guns.

Stirring it up a bit:

In all that faggoty advertisementese is no objective explanation why I would choose this gun over, oh, say, a Glock 17, which happens to cost half as much, hold twice as many rounds, weigh half as much, shoot just as accurately, run more reliably out of the box, and is assembled from armorer friendly parts that do not require skilled fitting. The last point bears repeating: There are no parts on a Glock that cannot be changed in about 30 minutes by a user who has a hammer, screwdriver, and a punch.

Guess what this gun is?

Nicky has more on Mark Edward Marchiafava.

A report detailing the steps.

We must stop the senseless slaughter of Teletubbies.

More senseless Teletubby violence.

They can’t be turning in guns because in Chicago guns are illegal. And I love this:

A big effort was under way Saturday to get guns used in deadly violence off Chicago’s streets.

I would lay 10:1 the no gun turned in can be traced back to a crime. Though I do agree with this:

Collecting guns is a start

It is, indeed.

Rich and Lissa are getting hitched.

Meeting math.

Madman has returned to blogging. Though, I have to confess, I wish he’d take up drugs instead of World of Warcraft.