9 things you can do before severe weather hits.

If you guessed terrorism, you’d be wrong.

Xrlq has a long list, start here and scroll:

On computer programmers:

And you know what else you’re not? As important as you think you are. And neither is your application. So please, stop writing applications that yank themselves into the foreground while I’m trying to work on something else.

He also wants to ban bumper stickers. I just want to ban the ones with small print. Someday, I’ll have to explain to a cop that I rear-ended somebody while trying to read their bumper sticker. Worse, I’ll have to explain it wasn’t worth it because the bumper sticker wasn’t funny.

Tom:

Comedy Central: There’s a reason Greg Giraldo and Patton Oswalt are available whenever you want them.

Fodder has a list too:

The next door neighbor that likes to stand in his backyard (ten feet east and one story down from my bedroom window) at oh dark hundred in the morning and yell into his stoopid cell phone. You’ve been quite for awhile, keep it that way. Major pain has been prepared and is waiting.

Last year’s grievances:

It’s the end of the year, holiday time. A time for reflection. A time for a look back. A time to be thankful that the baby Jesus was born, died and resurrected as a fat guy, who delivers presents, chants Kujichagulia through a menorah during his month long fasting because he’s trying to lose all that weight. Or something, I tend to get my holidays confused. I think it may also involve fireworks. It’s also Festivus, which completely unlike the aforementioned holiday montage, is actually made up. As part of Festivus, we are to air our grievances. Tommy wants someone to start so I’ll start with a list of shit I hate:

People who use non-standard, colorful fonts in their email

People who don’t flush toilets

People who don’t realize that in email there are separate buttons for Reply and Reply To All

Gum on sidewalks

When people make weak coffee. Here’s a newsflash, if you like weak coffee, you can add water to strong coffee. Those of us that like it strong can’t make weak coffee stronger, unless we use instant coffee which happens to taste like ass.

People who can’t walk with either a distinct sense of purpose or in a straight line. Walk through the mall and there will eventually be a dumbass in front of you who you’ll try to get around. They will zig to the left and zag to the right getting in your way both times without a clue they’re doing it. Those are the morons I mean. If you’ve never seen these people, you are these people. Walk like you have a sense of purpose or, at least, like you know where you’re going.

Hidden songs on CDs. Hey, dumbass, how am I supposed to get to the song when it’s after the 10 minutes of silence after the last song.

The 20 minute feedback/wall of noise/jam session at the end of recorded songs. No one wants to hear that unless they’re at a show and had a beer or 6. Save that shit for concerts.

People who drive in the left lane who are not passing or turning.

Knoxville traffic.

When I’m checking out the donut spread and I grab what I think is a custard filled donut but it turns out to be lemon. Lemon donuts? What the Hell?

Computer applications, particularly GMail, that set focus or whatever the Hell it is that causes them to think they’re the most important application I’m running on the computer. Apparently, it has decided it’s so important that it should be the top window.

Coffee stir sticks/straws. Seriously, these things are so thin they cannot adequately stir coffee (which SayUncle happens to take with a little sugar and he likes it strong). I always wind up using three of them to get an adequate level of stirriness*. Why not just make the damn things three times thicker?

* People who make up words.

People who insist that I call them Mr., Mrs., Ms. or Doctor [their last name].

People who think turn signals are completely optional.

Websites whose main page (i.e., the one that ends in .com, .net, etc.) has a Click To Enter link. Obviously, I want to enter or I wouldn’t be there.

Sweaters. Can’t stand them yet every year the wife buys me one.

When people post lists of stuff they hate.

Crappy TeeVee shows turned into crappy movies.

And a Meppy Chrisamadkwanzakuh to you, unless you’re an overly sensitive shit stirrer. In which case, piss off.

Here in UncleLand, it’s about 70 degrees out. So, outside with us all. The second gives a class on swinging. Start out in the back:

Then move to the front:

Repeat for minutes of fun.

More chicks in tanktops and revealing clothing please. As illustrated at right. I don’t care what you’re selling but eye-candy is good. Heck, I might even give a hot chick discount. That is all.

At jib jab.

I’d like to give a shout-out to my homie Ray-ray from the U.S. Dept. of Commerce Implementation Center.

Given the ATF’s recent ruling that the Akins Accelerator is a machine gun after having ruled it wasn’t (be wary of fickle bureaucrats), there have been quite a few searches for Akins Accelerator landing at this site from various .gov agencies, including:

U.S. Dept. of Commerce Implementation Center
DOJ
Dept. of Treasury
Office of asset forfeiture
NYC.gov

And they’ve been hanging out for a while when reading. I never bought one but was going to after I got my Christmas shopping done. Guess that’s out of the question now.

Just a warning that they’re looking. Careful out there and don’t do anything stupid. My advice if you have one is disassemble the unit now and keep checking the AA website for updates. And avoid speculation and that crazy-ass gun-nut talk we sometimes engage in.

Update: And I’m fully aware that there are a few friendlies out there that read the site and this is not an attack on you (hi, guys!). And don’t take it as such.

Update: First report of confiscation:

My AA was confiscated today

Are customer lists being provided to the BATFE? I had two agents come to my house today and request that I turn over my “machine gun”. I complied.

Update and bump: Advice from a subgunner:

Don’t fill out an abandonment form if they come for it because you will never get it back. Not sure if you have a choice but ask to get recipt that they have it so if the outcome is reversed you can get it back.

The Akins folks are challenging the law. Get a reciept so that if they win, you get yours back.

Oh, and call your lawyer if you own an AA. Now.

Update: link to confiscation is gone. Someone at subguns yanked it.

=========================
Update: Statement from the Akins folks:

Allegations are being posted on the Web about ATF Agents showing up on customer doorsteps and confiscating product. This is not happening. Please consult the company webpage http://www.firefaster.com/ regularly and treat it as your only reliable source of information. All updates will be made to this page first.

Attorneys for Akins Group Inc. have submitted a written Compliance Plan which is under review by ATF. Upon agreement on the details by all parties, those instructions will be posted here.

If accepted by ATF, that Compliance Plan will contain instructions which, if followed by consumers, will eliminate the need for any face-to-face interaction with any law enforcement people from any agency.

And what is said plan?
=========================

Via the NRA, comes this:

In a lengthy and carefully reasoned decision read from the bench December 13, New Jersey Superior Court Judge Maurice Gallipoli declared Jersey City’s one gun a month handgun rationing law null and void, holding that it violates state pre-emption, equal protection, and was “arbitrary and capricious.”

Ordinance # 06-116 – whose stated objective was to reduce crime – wildly missed the mark by rationing handguns to persons pre-certified by the State as non-criminals after undergoing extensive background checks.

Plus what is to stop one gun a month from becoming one gun a year, decade, lifetime or generation?

Update: Oops. Bitter was on this yesterday. Sorry, but usually when I see the phrase New Jersey, I don’t look much further.

Because I’ve decided that airing grievances is fun and want to spread some holiday cheer. Remember, I do this to entertain me . . . not you.

Timing: The holiday season apparently starts right after Labor Day. The stores put their Christmas stuff out in September. This has to stop. A full one third of the fucking calendar year is the Christmas season. That’s stupid. Hell, let’s just make every day a holiday.

More timing: Every year, I put out Christmas decorations earlier and earlier. I’ve always been a Day After Thanksgiving guy myself. But that was back when I was a bachelor and my only Christmas decoration was a festive basket with pine cones in it. After thanksgiving, I’d put it on my coffee table and I was done. Now, decoration day is a full two weeks before then. And it takes up a whole weekend. And that’s just stupid too. One good thing is that the new pad is on a sloped yard and the house has two floors. So, the sides of the house are a full 80 feet off the ground. Therefore, for safety’s sake, I don’t decorate that side. My annual work has been reduced by two thirds.

Santa: He’s a fat bitch. Seriously, can’t we have someone who can teach our children a healthy lifestyle bring them cheer and presents? And how about a haircut and a shave? Right now, it looks like we have an overweight hippie in his damn jammies spreading cheer. Is he joyous from smoking dope? I prefer a nice, clean cut dude who looks healthy spreading wonder and amazement. ‘Cause when a hippie spreads wonder and amazement, you blame the weed.

To the guy in my neighborhood: Sorry, but a 15 feet tall inflatable Scooby Doo wearing a toboggan is not a Christmas decoration. It’s a fucking eyesore. It may have a date with my Gamo 220 Hunter.

Toboggan: To the people commenting on this post on roadside survival kits, when a white boy from Tennessee says toboggan, he means a wool knit hat not a sled. You really think I keep a big ass sled in my truck?

Today, at Junior’s and The Second’s school it’s PJ day. They wore pajamas to school this morning. I think it’s a great idea and think workplaces should have a PJ day too.

Heh.

If concealed carry is ever allowed in Chicago.

A court has ruled that a BB gun is a gun in the legal sense of the word:

A convicted felon barred from carrying a firearm broke the law when he started toting a BB gun, the Minnesota Court of Appeals has ruled.

John Fleming Jr. couldn’t legally carry a gun because of two felony assault convictions, so he packed a BB gun instead.

Ramsey County prosecutors decided Fleming was splitting hairs and charged him with unlawful possession of a firearm.

Fleming won when a Ramsey County District judge threw out the charge, ruling the statute doesn’t apply to BB guns. But the appeals court ruled prosecutors could again take aim at the two-time felon.

The appellate court reinstated the charge against Fleming, finding that a firearm is “any gun from which a shot or a projectile is discharged by means of explosive, gas or compressed air.”

Fleming is accused of carrying a black metal BB gun that discharges a pellet by means of a CO2 cartridge.

Typically, a firearms is defined as shooting a projectile by means of explosives and, at least at the federal level, blackpowder weapons are excluded from that definition. So, when someone enacts an assault weapons ban, will it affect BB guns?

Stupid ruling.

Update: That’s a helluvan airsoft gun.

I had one the other night for the first time. Tastes like a green Jolly Rancher. But in Cali, they want to tax girly drinks. Why? Well, because:

Heeding the pleas of teenagers to help curb underage drinking, California authorities Wednesday moved to raise taxes on sugary alcohol beverages and remove them from convenience stores.

Err, isn’t it illegal for teenagers to drink? That’s just fucking retarded.

The story about the NY Cops firing 50 rounds into unarmed people keeps getting worse:

Four of the five officers who fired a total of 50 times at the car of an unarmed man on his wedding day hadn’t completed mandatory firearms training, a group of black officers charged on Thursday.

[snip]

The report lists the last time each officer was at the shooting range: Mike Oliver — who fired 31 of the 50 rounds — was there on April 5; Marc Cooper on March 3; Paul Headley on Jan. 12; and Mike Carey on March 21. The undercover detective last took practice on Oct. 4, it says.

The report also notes that none of the officers had ever fired their weapons before the Nov. 25 confrontation outside a seedy Queens topless bar where Bell’s bachelor party intersected with a police undercover operation targeting alleged prostitution.

It’s obvious they weren’t pistolsmiths since out of 50 rounds, only 21 hit the car. And 14 rounds hit people in the car.

I’d rather they received training on Shoot – Don’t Shoot scenarios rather than marksmanship. But at least with marksmanship training, when they make the wrong call and shoot in real life, they don’t look like trigger-happy yahoos.

I had some fun at the fact that my traffic has increased a bit due to being ranked high on Google for the search small dicks. Seriously, people google that? Like you don’t get enough sent to your inbox you have to go searching for it?

But this ain’t a post about that, it’s a post about this:

There is an obscure publishing doctrine known as “the small penis rule.” As described in a 1998 New York Times article, it is a sly trick employed by authors who have defamed someone to discourage their targets from filing lawsuits. As libel lawyer Leon Friedman explained to the Times, “No male is going to come forward and say, ‘That character with a very small penis, ‘That’s me!'”

Heh. Via Terry, who apparently thought of me while reading that.

Seen at Publicola’s:

Give everything to your friend, except your car, your wife, and your gun.

Also, what he said.

To Jay who has pics of his new toy. Welcome to the club. Wait, they allow those in Mass?

Good luck finding another magazine for it. It took me like 5 months of constantly nagging Tam to get two more.

Lyle of Ultimak (and if you have an AK you should be buying stuff there) in comments:

I’d be interested to know how many arsonists are allowed to buy matches and gasoline, and why the HELL no one’s required to get fingerprints, photos, a retinal scan, DNA sample and a criminal background check from every buyer of matches, lighters, and gasoline. SHit, you’d think the government just wants crime to happen.

Don’t get me started on knives and baseball bats (to say nothing of rocks– those goddamned things are just laying around everywhere, and no one is doing CRAP about it).

Heh.

Law.com:

Despite increased security at courthouses following shootings in Chicago and Atlanta about one year ago, many judges are bringing their own guns into their courtrooms for protection.

Earlier this month, a Florida judge was ordered to accept mentoring after warning a defense attorney that he was “locked and loaded.” In May, a judicial ethics committee of the New York State Unified Court System found that it was ethical for a judge to carry a pistol into his courtroom.

In Nevada, Oklahoma and Texas, incidences of violence in the past year have prompted new laws or solidified rules allowing judges to bring guns into courtrooms.

And:

In May, New York’s Advisory Committee on Judicial Ethics issued an opinion that found it ethical for a judge to carry a pistol while on the bench.

Via reader Chris, who notes: Kind of funny that the NY Bar had to give careful consideration as to whether a judge can exercise his constitutional right in a courtroom, where rights should presumably be sacrosanct. Well, and I’m sure the Bar in NY isn’t a friend of the second amendment for non-judges.

Insty says:

THE CAR SURVIVAL KIT DISCUSSION from a few days ago led me to consider emulating SayUncle and keep something to cut seatbelts in the car. I could have just gotten a big honking knife, but I didn’t want anything that an unsympathetic cop might consider a dangerous weapon, just in case.

Yeah, I think TN has a knife law that specifies carried knives can’t have blades longer than four inches (or some arbitrary number of inches). That being the case, there’s also these items that are made specifically for cutting belts and look nothing like weapons. They also have the added bonus of a ceramic spike for breaking out safety glass.

Pocket Queens: Screw them. I’m going all in pre-flop with them from now on. When the flop comes, they’re generally as useless as a cock-flavored lollipop.

Dramatic movies with retards: Rain Man, I am Sam, those types. I’m done with them. Some of them star people who are actual retards in real life. As much as you try to tug at my heartstrings, I can’t get over the fact that what is considered acting is also considered bad taste when I do it at a party. Plus, any movie with a retard in it is automatically overrated by every critic. Let’s stick to the cameo appearance in comedies please.

Bruce: who will remind me that I use the phrase useless as a cock-flavored lollipop too much.

Iraq: Sorry but I’m doing some serious introspection on that one. As an initial supporter of the war, I’m torn between 1) the US needs to either go balls out or, err, 2) balls in. That is, get our asses in there and take control of the motherfucker. Or bring everyone home and take our ass-whippin’ and loss of respect in the worldwide community like a man. The latter is clearly the worst option. So, it’s either time for a vulgar display of power or a powerful display of vulgarity. They’re both ugly and no one wants to do either but it’s time to cowboy the fuck up and do something right, whether it’s winning or saying oops, sorry about your infrastructure. And the first person who says I’m advocating cutting and running needs to have their pee-pee whacked.

Me: The fact that by stating the above, I actually agree with John McCain about something. That sucks.

Sensitivity: I’m not an overly sensitive person but I find it to be in poor taste the fact that people care more about congressional control than the fact some dude just had his head split open and the organ that determines the fiber of his being operated on following a stroke. At least have the decency to offer sympathy first before becoming a partisan hack. Anyone checked DU to see for conspiracy theories? I mean, I’m kind of a dick but I’d at least offer condolences to the family before saying OMG, we’re doomed!

My hands: They’re faster than my brain. Been re-reading a bunch of old posts and realize they are riddled with typos.

Google: I’ve had it happen a lot lately where I am Googling up a bit of research and the source is, err, me. Well, quoting me doesn’t do much for backing up assertions made by me.

The people of DC: Look, I hear what you’re saying. Taxation without representation is bad ju ju and people have started wars over that kind of stuff. And having no say in the constitution sucks too. But you’d get a lot more sympathy if your local .gov wasn’t trying to piss on the constitution by banning gun ownership.

Apparently, some kids at the Macomb Intermediate School District are banned from myspace.com. So, they’re having their chat discussions here in comments. So, I’m telling their teachers on them. Pay attention in school or you’ll grow up to be a loser.

So, robby, ses, and tretfd, take it somewhere else. Or, you know, buy your own server space and such. Boring tech stuff below the fold

Read the rest of this entry »

In Jersey:

Bullets slip through hole in gun laws

Criminal offenders bought handgun ammunition from nine stores in Monmouth and Ocean counties, according to testimony heard Tuesday by a state panel investigating the link between bullet sales and street violence.

Seven of those stores were in Ocean County, which ranked first among the 19 counties probed by the State Commission of Investigation, an independent watchdog of state government.

The commission used those figures to expose the lack of state laws regulating ammunition sales and how some of those purchases end up in the guns of gang members who use violence to control some of New Jersey’s most dangerous neighborhoods.

Most sales to criminal offenders in the Shore area and elsewhere were legal, as vendors are only required to write details about the sale into a log book and to make sure that buyers of handgun bullets are at least 21 years old.

“You can be a convicted criminal and buy as much as you want,” said Lt. Col. Frank E. Rodgers, deputy superintendent of investigations for the State Police.

I guess the fact that possession of ammunition by a felon being a crime isn’t enough?

On the kid who was shot for stealing a Playstation 3, David:

The student was shot thru the door as they were breaking it down. The officer who fired says that he mistook the sound of the battering ram hitting the door for gunshots, and began firing through the door.

Quick, call a Waahmbulance.

Google blog alerts tells me to read lefty blogs.

It’s rather amusing to me the misconceptions held about gun laws and the NRA by (generally speaking) the left. And more specifically, the widely-read, coo-coo-banana left. Digby says:

In the late 70’s it was a matter faith among liberals that handguns would be outlawed and other guns would be strictly regulated. It was just a matter of time. Within 20 years the NRA had killed the issue. Gun control is no longer even on the menu outside the biggest cities and even then it’s dicey.

And that’s a good thing. The NRA did not kill the issue. It was merely not popular. People support the right to arms by a large margin and, specifically, handguns for self-defense. In the 1980s until this year, many states have passed concealed carry laws (48 of 50 have provisions and 40 of those 48 have right to carry provisions). And, here’s a newsflash, a movement that big doesn’t just happen because of the big bad NRA snapping its fingers. Those legislators have to cater to voters to keep their jobs and they did.

The NRA said that Americans had a right to bear arms. Period. They didn’t bargain or negotiate. And they were successful because when your raison d’etre is protecting a fundamental right, you have to be absolutist or you lose the moral authority of your argument.

This is another misconception regarding arms and the NRA. That they don’t bargain or negotiate. And that’s just crap. There is not a single federal gun control law in this country that has passed without the NRA’s OK. And the NRA has taken some flak for that. In fact, here’s a little dialogue between the NRA and a group that does not negotiate. Read it. It’s the purists at JPFO v. the NRA. Because JPFO does not bargain or negotiate, they are, essentially, powerless in politics. They have no influence. The NRA is the 800 pound gorilla of gun rights but to intimate that they are absolutists who do not negotiate is either done out of ignorance; or misunderstanding; or the fact that the claim is made by someone who is anti-gun.

After quoting an utter misrepresentation of a shooting and castle doctrine laws, Jane Hamsher writes:

I think there is a fundamental incentive problem here — the NRA is financed by gun manufacturers who aren’t going to keep writing the fat checks in order to lose.

The NRA is funded by its members and donations primarily. The NRA’s $80 million yearly budget is largely from its membership dues ($25 per year) from over 3 million members. The NRA is forbidden by law from using these funds to lobby the government. And gun manufacturers are not particularly large companies but they do have their own trade organization, that Nationals Shooting Sports Foundation.

The NRA also supports some gun laws, such as Project Exile; background checks; the NFA, the NRA wrote the law that bans armor-piercing handgun ammunition; the NRA supports laws restricting access to firearms by minors and felons; and was the advocate behind the National Instant Check System (which unfortunately had the assault weapons ban attached to it). Those simply are not extremist positions and that does not indicate opposition to all gun controls.

But it is an article of faith among anti-gunners and some of those on the left that the Big Bad NRA is made of evil gun-maker money and it is an extremist bully that tell congress what to do. They have to believe that because it’s easier to swallow than the fact that most people don’t share their views on guns.

Update: I’m informed that digby is not the coo-coo-banana left. I read more of the blog and concur. Sorry about that.

Minimum evacuation distances for bombs by size.

Remember, that’s why I won’t vote for Barrack Obama. Not because he’s anti-freedom or anything important like that.