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NYC Quick Notes

The most interesting part of the trip was when I almost stabbed somebody. We were on the subway (I hate being underground, btw. It sorta weirds me out.) and a disheveled looking guy, who looks nervous and unclean, boards at the last minute. Once the door shuts, he starts screaming to the top of his lungs to the people in the car about about something, some sort of pre-robbery speech. Then says it’s a robbery and pulls out his hand and it’s in a brown paper bag. I was a bit surprised that I stayed calm but I did. I discretely pulled my Cold Steel AK47 out of my pocket and stood between the guy and my wife evaluating what I was going to do and when. It was a pretty intense few seconds. Then the robber decides to inform us that he’s not a robber and it’s actually some sort of scare-tactic fundraising pitch for a homeless shelter. In hindsight, I was glad (and he was lucky) that he got the point quickly. I didn’t give him any money. But did look at him like he was stupid for the rest of the ride.

In NYC, the white and yellow lines on the roads are just kind of general guides not to be taken seriously.

The place was much cleaner than I remember. Some parts were filthy with trash stacked up in alleyways. But mostly clean.

Had some of the best Chinese food ever at a hole in the wall called Wing Wong’s in Chinatown.

For breakfast, I had smoked sable at a Jewish deli, served by an Iraqi. Don’t see that every day.

On the way back, the TSA failed to notice I had the knife in my bag. Or my TacPen. Or my wife’s large can of FoxOC. I forgot the knife was in my carry on and the Mrs. forgot to take her spray out before we got to the airport. Don’t you feel safer?

I saw Wyatt Cenac and Mitt Romney.

Near 10 years later and the site of the World Trade Center is a hole in the ground. So sad.

26 Responses to “NYC Quick Notes”

  1. CTone Says:

    You’re lucky you didn’t remember that your knife was in your carry-on before going through security but after you checked your bags. I’ve had that happen a couple of times, and I had to shitcan my knife instead of risking going through security with it. I had that happen also on my way to Iraq years ago, and TSA did notice my Ka-Bar, Cold Steel balisong, CRKT, and another folder, as well as my multitools and sharpening stones. It was all a big mistake with my bags, and I spent 18 hours of my time in jail over it.

  2. breda Says:

    See, no one would try that sort of bullshit “scare tactic” in a place where people are potentially and properly ready to defend themselves. An armed society is a polite society – there’s more of a risk in being a scary, rude asshole.

  3. OHIO SHAWN Says:

    I agree with Breda, if that crap had occurred in my hometown (Columbus, OH), the dude very easily could have been in serious physical danger. I for one, if traveling with my wife and kids, would have likely fired first, not waiting to see if the ‘hand in the bag’ was an actual weapon. Not that I’m itchin’ to deal out justice, but I am quick to defend my family. Fortunately to this point that has only resulted in me drop kicking a stray dog that tried to attack my 3 yr old boy. I will die happy and content if I never have to draw in public. I’ll also be happy that I never lived in NY apparently….

  4. Bubblehead Les Says:

    Kinda tough having to move from Yellow to Orange and back a lot more than you’re used to, isn’t it? Oh, well, relax, unwind, and get ready for Pittsburgh. Heard there might be some AnarchoHippieCommie Antis trying to cause a ruckus that weekend. We’ll see how they might react to a lot of “Politeness”.

  5. Ellen Says:

    Of course the World Trade Center is still a hole in the ground. The Moslem world will go on a murderous spree if we deface their monument.

  6. Paul Says:

    Well here in Texas you get on the commuter bus and do that kind of thing and, well, no it would be like the joke Youtube where a guy pops a cork and everyone draws their roscoe in the china shop.

    But may I suggest you get real good with H2H skills incase you go back to NYC. They really don’t like any kind of knife up there. H2H and a bullet resistant vest.

  7. Shootin' Buddy Says:

    “We were on the subway (I hate being underground, btw.”

    Yeah, underground railroads usually shake up Southerners. Be brave!

    “hes not a robber and its actually some sort of scare-tactic fundraising pitch for a homeless shelter.”

    It’s Bush’s fault.

  8. Jake Says:

    Of course the World Trade Center is still a hole in the ground. The Moslem world will go on a murderous spree if we deface their monument.

    The Moslem world will go on a murderous spree if we breathe. They don’t really need another excuse.

  9. Robert Says:

    I love those subway car performances. Used to have a girlfriend up there and we would rate them. She was pretty critical because she was in theatre. She toyed with the idea of doing a homeless/subway/begging workshop to teach them the basics of delivery and perfomance. Probably could have gotten a nice grant for that. It’s illegal, of course, to beg on the subway or anywhere in NYC, so that kind of nixed the deal.
    I always though about following those acts with a pitch of my own. I’m a reasonable public speaker and a lot funnier than those guys, plus I would have had a gorgeous blonde woman walking the collection plate around the subway car.
    When I was in NY, BTW, I always carried a Glock 19. Period.

  10. mike w. Says:

    Stupid shit like that could only happen in crime-free victim disarmament zones.

    In the rest of the U.S. Darwin would deal with folks dumb enough to try such stunts.

  11. wizardpc Says:

    This is also the reason why “Scare Tactics” the like are filmed in places like LA and NYC.

    Some dude with an axe starts beating down the door? Not going to end well for him in Knoxville or Dallas, actor or not.

  12. Firehand Says:

    Daughter and I once discussed how some places would just be out of the question for that idiot show; too much chance of the attacker/threatener getting ventilated.

  13. Ron W Says:

    Hey! I have an idea! Don’t let the “Moslem world” come here!! That’s what should have been done on Sept 12, 2001—at the latest!. But our borders were kept open and are still open and our government continues to allow and even import “the Moslem world” into our country. Thus it is that our enemy has been and still is in Washington D.C. committing “treason” according to Article III, Section 3 and Article IV, Section 4 of the U.S. Constitution.

  14. Paul Says:

    You guys know what happend to Davis’s police when they tried that kind of thing on John Wesly Hardin?

    Well in Hardin’s own words, “They asked me for my guns, so I gave them the contents thereof.”

    Must have been a bummer.

  15. Snubnose Says:

    “Near 10 years later and the site of the World Trade Center is a hole in the ground. So sad.”

    Uh, no it’s not. It’s 63 stories tall as of right now. I’m surprised you didn’t see it. 😉

    If you meant the individual footprints of the original towers, well, they’re going to be reflecting pools, so yeah. Those holes aren’t going to change, lol.

    The important part is that the new WTC is well on its way up (though it is a shame that it hasn’t been finished years ago).

  16. Michael Says:

    You know, if you were in a free state, there’s a good chance that the “fundraiser’s” antics would be criminally prosecutable. In my mind, it is no different than yelling “fire” in a movie theater.

  17. Ash Says:

    @Snubnose – give Uncle a break. He was clearly frazzled from his close encounter with the NYC Homeless Drama Troupe.

    Oh, and the aforementioned Freedom Tower can be seen at

  18. SayUncle Says:

    Hmm, I was referencing the hole in the ground in front there. And, still, 10 years to partially complete a building? Weak.

  19. perlhaqr Says:

    Near 10 years later and the site of the World Trade Center is a hole in the ground.

    Pretty fucking pathetic, considering the originals were built in 7 years.

  20. Tam Says:

    And, still, 10 years to partially complete a building? Weak.

    It’s New York. Yankees are into union labor and strikes and stuff. It’s why people don’t build stuff there anymore. 😉

  21. Caleb Says:

    I thought Yankees were into designated hitters and steroids.

  22. Don Gwinn Says:

    You know, the more I think about this, the more the tactic involved pisses me off, and I mean aside from not wanting the homeless advocate guy to get shot. Think about what he did . . . it’s not that different from actual robbery in principle. It’s not that odd for a mugger to cycle back and forth between threatening, friendly and wheedling several times during an encounter.
    To make big dramatic threats, then play on the relief of your sheepish “victims” when you tell them you’re not really robbing them, and you would never hurt them, but by the way, you really DO want them to give you their money now . . . . it’s like a variation of what De Becker describes in The Gift of Fear. The guy basically did the “unsolicited promise” but reversed the order.

  23. HTRN Says:

    The reason why it took so damn long wasn’t so much the union labor, it was because everybody and his brother filed a lawsuit the second the city announced what they planned to do – a relative of victims group wanted the entire site turned into a memorial(really? You think 16 ACRES of downtown Manhattan which is worth tens of millions of dollars, that is going to happen?) Another group didn’t like the design and sued.. It took forever for the lawsuits to grind through the courts.

    And say Uncle is lucky he didn’t get caught carrying a knife, which is now a serious nono – you can thank Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance(who is no doubt using this rather skewed interpretation of law to boost his win/loss record, probably thinking about higher office) for it. My brother nearly got arrested for it a coupla months ago.

  24. Good Grief Says:

    And if you knew anything about NYC you knew that is the oldest bullshit story in the world from those guys. Did any of the New Yorkers get worried? No. Rolleyes. You would be getting close to some folks at Rikers right now if you had “acted.”

  25. sayuncle Says:

    Yeah, that’s why I stick with free countries, usually.

  26. Don Gwinn Says:

    Good Grief, I want to make sure I understand your point. Are you faulting the out-of-town visitors for not knowing that when someone stands up on the subway, hides his hand and announces an armed robbery, it’s just a “bullshit story” and there’s nothing to worry about?

    I’m also not from New York, but that seems weird to me.

    From my small-town midwest perspective, it seems like the fault would be with the people threatening armed robberies. Admittedly I’ve never been to NYC, so maybe this really is just some local custom, but I’ve ridden trains in St. Louis and Chicago and never encountered anything like this. (People do occasionally announce robberies on the L in Chicago, but if it’s performance art, they are REALLY dedicated to living their art.)

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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