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I was just cleaning it, it went off in my hand

The 80s, when hair was bad and songs were about masturbation. As evidence, I present:

Dancing with Myself

She Bop

Blister in the Sun

Turning Japanese

16 Responses to “I was just cleaning it, it went off in my hand”

  1. Bruce Says:

    “Darling Nikki” by Prince

  2. Matt Groom Says:

    Ever heard of little band called Greenday? Every song they ever did was about masturbation, because they’re a bunch of hippie dick skinners. It was their claim to lame.

  3. Spook45 Says:

    Great list! Love that 80s stuff. Saw a list of “surivival songs” the other day, but I had to give em what for! They left off Mike and the Mechanics silent running. How can you have a list of survival songs and leave off Silent Running??!!

  4. Joe Allen Says:

    No hidden metaphor in this classic, single entendre, girl-wank ballad:

  5. SayUncle Says:

    yeah, but not from the 80s. I mean, who can forget My Ding-a-Ling?

  6. Robert Says:

    Or The Who – Pictures of Lily.

  7. Tennessee Budd Says:

    Funny, my hair is the same as then (except ’88-92; that whole Navy Regs thing), just farther back on my head.

  8. rick Says:

    also not the ’80’s, but Jackson Browne’s “Rosie.”

  9. Will Says:

    The worst part for me was that I read the title and nothing about masturbation popped into my head. I thought I was gonna be reading about some moron that didn’t check to see if the gun was loaded. I’m losing my pervertedness.

  10. SayUncle Says:

    will, we have to keep it gun related some times.

  11. jason Says:

    don’t forget “No Bone Movies” by Ozzy

  12. Miguel Says:

    I think the 60’s were a tad more perv:
    Backdoor Man (1961)

    Donna (1967)

  13. Laughingdog Says:

    Except She-bop is the only one of those where the artist did not state explicitly, at some point or another, that the song was not about masturbation.

  14. Sebastiantheguywithnoblog Says:

    Yeah, I remember Gordon Gano having some long winded explanation about how “oh big hands I know you’re the one” isn’t about yerkin ze gherkin.

  15. mikee Says:

    1980: Devo: Whip It

  16. Jerry Says:

    I won’t knock ’80’s music. I am a high school grad from ’84, so I was immersed in it. That said, it still sucks. A bunch of young people, guessing at what will be popular. The good ones, did fine. Still, not an A.P. Carter in the bunch.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

Uncle Pays the Bills

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