Simian Other One
When your only tool is a hammer, all problems look like nails.
Yes, in light of the dramatic increase in face-eating monkey attacks from zero to one (a near infinite increase), congress must do something. I guess a ban on feeding chimps Xanax and giving them booze is too much. It beats gibbon up.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:24 am
When your only tool is a shotgun, every problem looks for the nearest exit.
Just saying.
February 25th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Oh, you’re just mad that you can’t buy a female primate and meet the gorilla your dreams…
February 25th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
There was another case a few years back, guy and his wife had their hands eaten, but I don’t think there was a hysterical monkey mistress phonecall to accompany the story, so it didn’t get the press. Seems chimps have a thing for removing that which lets us hold and use tools first, very similar to the brady bunch tactics but with less feces flinging.
Anyway, this is just PETA HSUS back scratching. Be glad the “let animals and pets sue in court” crap hasn’t passed yet.
February 25th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Officer … that ain’t a pet. It’s livestock.
I’ll kill it and eat it when it gets bigger.
February 25th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Totalitarianism; The belief that all things and all activities are within the political realm.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
If an infinite number of monkeys, with an infinite number of typewriters, typed for an infinite number of years, they wouldn’t come up with anything stupider than this bill.
Congress, on the other hand…