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Kids Today

A few kids in my neighborhood have a case of teh st00pid. It’s true. Case one is that I and about three other cars are pulling into the neighborhood. Standing in the middle of the street are two boys who I’d put at between the ages of 11 and 13. Upon seeing the cars backing up, the two geniuses continued to stand in the middle of the street. For a good 20 seconds before I honked, shot them a stern look, and mouthed the word idiots. Not a good place to stand since the grass at the entrance to the subdivision is a bit tall and someone who was going too fast could fail to see you in time and it’s off to the ER with your dumb ass.

The second instance and I am not making this up. Again, driving home in my subdivision. There’s a kid on a bike in the middle of the street. I’m going slow enough to not be a threat. He’s not paying attention. He finally sees me and gets over. So far so good. I look over and see that he has a bow strung over his shoulder. And, I shit you not, in his left hand he’s carrying two arrows. That’s right. A kid on a bike is carrying arrows. Holy crap.

Early intervention is key at preventing teh st00pid. I don’t know how far gone these two are but someone (like say, the parents) should step up.

Update: Note that I am neither anti-bow nor anti-arrow. I just think if you’re carrying around arrows, they should be properly sheathed. Particularly, if you’re on a bike and run the risk of impaling yourself at slightly higher speeds than, say, walking.

16 Responses to “Kids Today”

  1. nk Says:

    Are you serious? You’re lucky. In Chicago’s West Side kids on bicycles will play chicken with you if you’re stupid enough to drive your car through their ‘hood. If you look like you can take care of yourself, you’ll be sued if you touch them. If you look vulnerable, you’ll be robbed, raped and possibly murdered. If you manage to defend yourself successfully you will be arrested for road rage and hate crime.

  2. Molon Labe Says:

    The obvious solution is to ban bikes and arrows. To lay blame and responsibility upon the parents to, you know, PARENT, would cause too much emotional distress on “The Children(tm).

    I’m also troubled that the kid was able to carry TWO arrows in one hand. Obviously we need legislation to stop the “Womb Loophole” where kids are being born with high capacity hands.

  3. ParatrooperJJ Says:

    What is wrong with a bow and arrows?

  4. SayUncle Says:

    Nothing. Unless you’re seven years old, on a bike that you’re navigating with one hand, on a busy street.

  5. jed Says:


    Crash bicycle, impale possibly important anatomy with arrow. Your own, or someone else’s.

    Kid needs a quiver.

  6. Robert Says:

    Our neighborhood Huck Finn used to skateboard around with a broken airsoft M16M4 slung over his shoulder. Gotta love a kid like that. He’s shooting Junior highpower rifle now with his own TSRA-issued AR15. I’m making the bullets and doing the transport. We shoot for three days this weekend..(his mom, a teacher, is letting him skip public school on Friday so he can ride with me for Team Day) at Camp Swift for the Texas Highpower Rifle Championship.

  7. Robert Says:

    You should have rolled down the window and asked him if he’d stuck any bears lately.

  8. Kristopher Says:

    Hmmm … in most states, a bicyclist has as much right to the road as a motorist.

    Unless he has backed up enough cars to count as obstructing ( five vehicles in Oregon ), he doesn’t have to pull over for you.

  9. SayUncle Says:

    The kids obstructing traffic were just standing in traffic. That might be legal but it’s dumb.

  10. Boyd Says:

    Just curious, Unc…do you pronounce “bike” and “back” the same? (…if youre on a back and run the risk of impaling yourself…)

  11. SayUncle Says:

    Lol – no. I just think faster than I type.

  12. ParatrooperJJ Says:

    Ok, I would agree that a quiver would be a good idea…

  13. Lornkanaga Says:


    You have it easy in your neighborhood. I nearly ran over five kids between the ages of 5 and 9 the other night–fortunately, my hubby saw them as we turned and I was able to stop. I beeped my horn to get them out of the street, then stopped in front of them, rolled down my window, and told them to please not play in the street after dark. Needless to say, before I pulled into my space they were all back in the street (sigh).

  14. Phelps Says:

    Perhaps he is practicing his yabusame skills, and he has to use a bike until his parents get him that pony he has been asking for.

  15. jeff Says:

    I love it when you come up on a herd of kids on bikes and they scatter to BOTH SIDES OF THE ROAD, making you thread through them. Didn’t your mamma teach you nuthin?!

    I guess that’s why we call them kids though. They do dumb stuff, and if they don’t break themselves too much they get to be growed ups.

  16. # 9 Says:

    Whether kids are getting dumber or we are getting smarter, todays kids seem to lack what my grandmother called “walking around sense”.

    It is tough to be a kid today. But is isn’t just kids. At the liquor store I observed a twenty something young lady whose car was shaking from the bass beat of some rap song. The song was okay. Not great, but not crap. The volume was off the charts. Pleasant looking young lady who will be deaf before she is 28.

    Our society seems to be losing common sense. At metulj like to say, it isn’t all that common these days.

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