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War on Pointy Objects

Uncle mentioned that Britain is moving to ban crappy swords, which reminded me that Britain’s war on pointy objects doesn’t end with cheap knockoff gear for wannabe ninjas. After they take your tin katana, they’ll be coming for your kitchen knives. That’s right, a bunch of British doctors want to ban pointy kitchen knives. It won’t be long before they start arresting people for possession of safety scissors.

The one cool thing in that article is the bit of history:

French laws in the 17th century decreed that the tips of table and street knives be ground smooth.

A century later, forks and blunt-ended table knives were introduced in the UK in an effort to reduce injuries during arguments in public eating houses.

7 Responses to “War on Pointy Objects”

  1. jimmyb Says:

    Lunacy. The evil inanimate objects. Some people are so stupid.

    You know, …

    Hey wait. I think my stapler is looking at me.


  2. _Jon Says:

    I was trying to think of something silly & witty like;
    “When they ban knives, only criminals will have knives.”

    Then my brain went (further) off into the open field and I thought;
    “How would people cut up their vegetables to cook with?”

    Then I thought;
    “Ronco will own the market with the ‘dicer’ and ‘vegetable chopper’ that keep the blades contained within their sturdy, washable plastic enclosures.’….

    (mebbe it is a conspiracy by Ronco to get rid of kitchen knives.)

    …I think I took too much medication this morning….

  3. KCSteve Says: – Seriously folks, get over there and get signed up now. Get in before the 10th and you might get a free pointy object.

    It’s new and intended to be the ‘NRA of knives’.

    Remember, it’s easiest to stop this crud at the start.

  4. chris Says:

    The inmates are running the asylum.

    Did the physician organization compare the number of fatalities from pointed knives with the fatalities resulting from physician malpractice?

  5. Brutal Hugger Says:

    I just wrote a small check to If they do just a little good, it’s money well spent.

  6. beerslurpy Says:

    Actually yeah, I bet that pointed knife casualty number doesnt include people negligently killed by physicians wielding surgical instruments.

  7. markm Says:

    “How would people cut up their vegetables to cook with?”

    You’ll have to get your cooking license, including a knife safety course. Then you can legally possess one (1) chopper, the kind with a squarish blade and no point.

    From what I’ve heard, there were laws almost as bad as this in China once. Hence their cooks cut everything up into bite-size cubes before cooking, because the ordinary folks couldn’t bring a knife to the table. (Of course, warriors, Mandarins, and other members of the upper class were exempt, and the “tong” gangsters somehow never had any trouble getting their hands on weaponry.)

    For myself, you’ll take my steak-knife after you pry it from my cold dead hands – except it’ll be in my hands only if I ran out of ammo and broke the integral bayonet on the M44 carbine…

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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