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The Airing of Grievances: Politics

I’m starting Festivus early this year and will be airing grievances for the rest of the day. So, politics:

To the Republicans: You’re all fucking retarded. I’m not sure what happened or exactly where you guys lost your way, but everything about the last six years (except one tax break) has been a colossal disappointment. You didn’t make the government smaller (in fact, you made it the biggest it has ever been); you didn’t bring accountability to the government; you didn’t do, well, anything you promised.

To the Democrats: Let’s be honest, I don’t like you and you don’t like me. But congrats on your recent win. It took you a while. In 2004, I honestly figured a retarded monkey could have beaten anyone with an R after their name. Yet, you guys couldn’t. You finally figured out that if you kept your mouths shut for a little bit, tried not to do anything stupid, and kept McKinney out from in front of a camera, that the Republicans would lose. Good job, for a retarded monkey.

6 Responses to “The Airing of Grievances: Politics”

  1. #9 Says:

    Both parties are really pathetic. The Republicans have gone both to the right and left in almost a schizophrenic way. The Democrats have gone far left, almost to the point of the Social Democrats of Western Europe. There is no one left in the middle. Two extremist parties without leaders or principles.

    Gay rights and abortion rule the political universe while the nation chokes on a federal debt and both parties think the Constitution is just a piece of paper.

    The parties are the problem.

  2. Billy Beck Says:

    “Two extremist parties without leaders or principles.”

    Okay; the words “extremist” and “principles” would render that sentence into the most laughable thing that I’ve read anywhere this month, if only maudlin stupidity were funny.

  3. Sean Braisted Says:

    On behalf of retarded [surrender] monkies everywhere…thanks.

  4. mike hollihan Says:

    I find it utterly amazing that in a time when both major parties have proven their dishonesty and self-serving natures there is no credible third-party appearing to take advantage of this. Remember the discontent of ’92? That made the Reform Party possible, and look how successful they were in the presidential race (19%!). Today’s discontent is far, far worse and yet no one’s jumping in to offer alternatives. The time is more right than it’s ever been. I’m baffled beyond words.

  5. #9 Says:

    Okay; the words “extremist” and “principles” would render that sentence into the most laughable thing that I’ve read anywhere this month, if only maudlin stupidity were funny.

    Who you defending Billy? Asses or Elephants?

  6. Standard Mischief Says:

    That made the Reform Party possible, and look how successful they were in the presidential race (19%!).

    Perot is the spoiler. Everything he ever did (Larry King live, getting on the ballot, not running, running again, ineptly arguing against NAFTA while being a hypocrite in his own business dealings…), was all geared to leverage the election. Then, the remnants of the Reform Party actually got a pretty good guy elected, Jessie Ventura, (a libertarian not running with a (L) behind his name) so the party could not be allowed to continue. The efforts of Pat Buchanan pretty much fragmented it beyond recognition.

    It also shows what happens, (back pre-blogsphere) when the mainstream media actually promotes a third party candidates.

    (I hope that doesn’t sound too Predator Drone-ish. I’m not saying it was all masterminded by the Gnomes of Zurch or the Illuminati.)