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Fun with Form 1

I am in the process of filling out ATF Form 1, Application to Make and Register a Firearm so that I can turn El Nino into a short barreled rifle. One question on the form is:

State why you intend to make firearm

As such, I present to you the top 10 answers I considered for that question:

10 So it will fit in a pizza box
9 For the hell of it
8 Because I collect tax stamps
7 Because it looks cool
6 To defend against invaders
5 To make Diane Feinstein cry
4 So an angel will get its wings
3 To compensate for the size of my penis
2 To annoy my wife
1 Actually, the real reason I put on there is For any and all lawful purposes.

13 Responses to “Fun with Form 1”

  1. Stormy Dragon Says:

    I believe the “correct” answer is “to increase the firearm’s rarity and value for collection purposes”.

  2. Les Jones Says:

    Good thing you didn’t write “Murderous rampage.” They might have kicked the form back.

  3. Heartless Libertarian Says:

    11. Because I needed another excuse to give money to the ATF.

  4. Mr. Completely Says:

    I suppose “To shoot liberals and hippies more easily” would have been a poor choice……

    …………..Mr. C.

  5. Standard Mischief Says:

    I believe the “correct” answer is “to increase the firearm’s rarity and value for collection purposes”.

    Is there an online referance to the “correct” answers?

    Stormy’s answer seems actually the better one because if you, as a private owner, were to sell the gun, and actually realise a profit on the transaction, and the Tobacco Ninjas had a problem with that profit, claiming you were a “unlicenced gun dealer” you could at least point to the form as a defense. “For any and all lawful purposes”, suffers from the fact that the BATFU sometimes think that private people making a profit on the change in gun values is somehow illegal.

    I think the “correct” answer on the class 3 paperwork is “for collecting and investing”.

  6. countertop Says:

    Perhaps you could have combined 3 and 2 in some sort of fashion to express your wife’s embarassment and frustration at the public manner in which this evil object proclaims the diminutive size of your weiner.

  7. gattsuru Says:

    “State why you intend to make firearm”

    So I have another one?

  8. BobG Says:

    “State why you intend to make firearm”

    Because I can?

  9. Kristopher Says:


  10. gunner Says:

    The problem with what you decided is that they decide what is legal. So what you said was “For any and all ‘allowed’ purposes. “.

  11. Sigivald Says:

    The best part is, 1 encapsulates 2-10.

    I mean, making Feinstein cry, in this manner, is a lawful purpose.

  12. Publicola Says:

    sad part is the atfu will deny a permit if they can & not having the “right” reason is one of the fallbacks they use. when I was younger I almost took the class III plunge & every gun shop I talked to (there were a few that dealt in class II when I was coming up) made sure to explain what the “legitimate” reasons were. from what I recall “because it’s my right” will get you rejected. I believe they recommended “collecting” as the best one to give.

  13. Ravenwood Says:

    It has been my experience that “for all lawful purposes” is the boilerplate justification for the ATF. While fun, being a smartass will get you nowhere.