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Advice that can get you killed

Seen at David’s:

Alvin Police Chief Mike Merkel said there are three things shoppers need to know if they are trapped in a chaotic shooting situation inside a mall.

First, stand still.

“They’re going to pick out individuals who are running to or away from them,” Merkel said. “Standing still may keep you from becoming a victim.”

It also makes you an easy target. My advice can be found here and here.

15 Responses to “Advice that can get you killed”

  1. anon Says:

    Almost ALL mall stores have rear exits to maintenance areas and then to the outside. Go there, quickly.

  2. Weer'd Beard Says:

    wow, that’s not just bad advice, its FUCKING bad advice!

    Maybe holler “Shoot Me! Shoot me!” and Say “Nice Grouping” as you die….

  3. Cactus Jack Says:

    Stand still when someone’s shooting? What crackhead came up with that idea? Probably one of the knuckleheads that think posting a “no guns allowed” sign will make a area safe.

    There’s a old saying that covers stuff like this; “while there are definate limits to human wisdom, there are no limits to human stupidity.”

  4. ballman Says:

    What we need is for someone to start using the courts in our favor and sue some of the owners of these gun free zones for civil rights violations. And maybe for the families of some of the victims to sue for damages. I bet that would get a few signs changed. You get into peoples pocketbooks and you get results.

  5. Sebastian Says:

    That might work if you’re in a mall and get attacked by a bear.

  6. Jim W Says:

    Stand still? Oh wow. There is nothing easier to hit than a non-moving target.

    The only benefit to standing still is that if you are otherwise camouflaged, it will not draw attention to you. If you are standing in a mall, you are easy to see, even when standing still. Unless you are wearing camouflage and hidden amongst matching vegetation, standing still is the closest thing to suicide that you can choose to do.

  7. Jim W Says:

    Oh wait I forgot a caveat or two regarding lack of camoflague in the mall.

    If you look like a mannequin and are standing near a store display, you may want to stay still until the shooter passes. For example, Commander Data from star trek would probably find this approach useful.

    Also, if you are already standing near a densely packed clothing rack, it might be worthwhile to hide inside the clothing, assuming the shooter hasn’t seen you yet and your feet don’t stick out.

  8. kaveman Says:

    Never met this Mike Merkel, but I do know he is a fucking douche bag.

  9. Gunstar1 Says:

    Hmmm, I would have thought play dead or run away would have been the best advice.

    This also strikes me as stupid if you are less than 50 feet from the gunman. If you are less than 20 feet way and stand still, well then your just mentally retarded.

  10. JKB Says:

    Well actually you stand still and hold up your hand while stating emphatically, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone” as you call 911. That’s the gun control advocate’s foolproof method, just ask them. It works in their fuzzy little minds.

  11. # 9 Says:

    That is the dumbest and funniest thing I have heard all day. What else, wear a target t-shirt?

  12. Dr. Strangegun Says:

    Mr Merkel shoud heed his own advice and stand still during his next shootout.

    What a breach of common sense! Holy jeez…

  13. Cactus Jack Says:

    JKB Says:

    December 14th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
    Well actually you stand still and hold up your hand while stating emphatically, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone” as you call 911. That’s the gun control advocate’s foolproof method, just ask them. It works in their fuzzy little minds.

    A fast draw with the cell phone eh? “I’m safe, I have a CELL PHONE!”

    I wonder if the cell phone is concealed or open carry?

  14. vinnie Says:

    Yell “Time out O.K?!”

  15. DirtCrashr Says:

    That’s just awesomely, breathtakingly, spectacularly ignorant, especially for a Cop who *should* know a thing or two about movement and shooting.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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