SayUncle: The earth is flat and there was no holocaust
It’s true. You see, according to Kevin, when it comes to things that are all sciency ‘n’ shit, the scientists hold a vote and whoever gets the most votes wins the game at determining what things are scientific fact vs. what is scientific theory. As Stormy said in comments:
Contrary to common belief, science is not the process of gathering a hundred experts in a room and having them vote on what they think the truth is.
See, after they have that vote, a point is no longer debatable. And if you, being the guy who vaguely remembers something about the scientific method from the eighth grade, point out that consensus does not equal fact, then you are no better than a person who believes that the Earth is flat nor are you better than a person who denies the holocaust happened. Hell, while I’m at it, I also believe that my truck is powered by two hamsters and a rubber band; that gnomes are stealing my odd socks; and that Chimpy McHitlerburton’s daddy planted an Uncle Tom Supreme Court Justice in 1991 as part of an elaborate plot to steal the election in 2000 that they knew was coming nine years in advance!
You see, yours truly touched upon the sacred cow of Bushitler hating: Global warming. While I acknowledged that global warming is real (the Earth’s temperature has gone up between 0.4 and 0.8 degrees Celsius in the last 100 or so years), I take issue with the extent to which human activity has attributed to that. And I point out that there is no scientific fact established that human influence has affected global warming significantly. And, in a bit of dramatic irony so hot that it will surely raise the temperature of the earth another 0.01 degree centigrade or two, we’re debating it which makes it debatable.
Yes, I know, those coal-fired steam plants at TVA do more damage to the Earth than every SUV in the state; that mother nature can just decide that there will be an ice age on, say, Thursday; and that the Earth’s temperature has only really stabilized in the last few tens of thousands of years, which is insignificant when compared to the age of the planet; but I’m clearly a Flat Earther. And despite that last comment, I also think that Scientologists have been watching our planet since it’s creation, which was 6,000 years ago, by God.
But it’s not that I think humans have no effect on the Earth’s temperature. Rather, it’s the fact that there are so many other factors that play a part in the equation. The Earth is complex, as is weather. Whether or not humans are some sort of primary cause is entirely debatable as there are many natural things that affect the Earth. We do have ice ages, you know, but (thankfully) the industrial revolution happened shortly after our last one and warmed the earth up.
And, yes, I’m fully aware of the general asininity of this post of equating various ridiculous things with other things but that’s what my AmeriKKKan Rethuglican overlords tell me to do. That was rather the point, actually. And, yes, there is validity to scientific theory but it is not the same sense of absoluteness associated with verifiable scientific fact. When you proclaim that something is not debatable, you’ve basically admitted that there’s no convincing you otherwise. Then, if you’re Kevin, you point out that same shortcoming (whether it exists or not) in others because you’re not capable of admitting that something may be debatable after all.
Update: And Jesus and Santa Claus teamed up once to do battle with Dinosaurs and, subsequently, saved humanity.