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Bear Spray

Woman thanks bear for not eating kayak. Bear approaches, she hits it with bear spray. Bear then eats kayak:

That’s why I use the Smith and Wesson brand of bear spray.

19 Responses to “Bear Spray”

  1. Ken in NH Says:

    Wow. That is just scary. No, not the bear, the whiny little girl. It’s not a fucking dog, it’s a wild animal that does not understand English or reason. It does not feel empathy for you. It does not care that you feel sad. It does not know or care that she thinks it should be hibernating now. It smells food in the kayak and wants to get at it. It might be annoyed by the squeaky naked animal with the stinging spray, but it certainly is not afraid of it. And this little girl does not understand why life is so shitty right now. Poor pitiful victim.

    There are really only two decent responses to her situation (lacking an effective weapon): 1) Feel relieved that the bear is interested in tearing up your kayak and not you; move one or 2) get aggressive and try to scare the bear off. Option 2 might get you killed, but if the kayak is your only lifeline then it’s worth the risk.

  2. Sebastian Says:

    I didn’t think bears spoke English.

  3. FormerFlyer Says:

    1) Don’t use bear spray until the bear is very, very close. This bear was not scared or dissuaded just annoyed, because it didn’t get a face full of capsaicin.

    2) A bear eating your stuff is not a crisis just a common inconvenience in the outdoors in much of northern North America . Bears frequently behave like 3 year old children that need to be slapped.

    3) This woman is unbelievably lucky that the bear did not take her screaming, wailing, whining sounds as prey behavior and turn around and eat her. Her bear spray would have lost one of the two factors that make it effective: the shock of the visual impact of the spray (the orange bloom appearing in front of the bear along with the spraying sound is part of the deterrent.)

    Personally, I prefer 12ga bear spray, but I’m a traditionalist. Yelling and waving, followed by one round off-center into the dirt between me and the bear. if that doesn’t work, then your only other choice is for a Defense of Life and Property (DLP) shooting, which has huge legal implications. Better to just pay the deductible on the dam kayak.


  4. Matthew Carberry Says:

    She didn’t have a repair kit with her. Which falls right in line with her other mistakes.

    Can’t shoot a bear over a kayak. Defense of life and property is treated pretty tightly.

  5. Huck Says:

    I’m surprised that all that squalling didn’t antagonize Yogi into munching on the chick.

  6. Shrimp Says:

    I’m a bad man, but about the time she started whining “bear, bear!” I was starting to root for the bear.

  7. Roger Says:

    Ignorance can be corrected,
    Stupidity is FOREVER!

  8. Matthew Carberry Says:


    The feeling is not an isolated one up here.

    One thing a gun can do spray cannot, is make a loud but harmless noise. Most bears learn what it means.

  9. nk Says:

    Holy guacamole! Who can possibly be that stupid?

  10. JTC Says:

    One can only imagine how this person deals with all the other annoyances of day to day life, and wonder how in the hell she has survived to this point. She wouldn’t have been justified using deadly deterrence, but the bear would have.

  11. Lyle Says:

    She said “please” multiple times, apparently believing that wild animals not only understand English, but have a sense of politeness.

    I LOL’d.

    One cannot reason with bears, nor illicit sympathy from them.
    “It’s late September…” she informed the bear, apparently attempting to shame it for not watching its calendar closely enough.

    Well, if yelling and pleading is all you have, everything will look like…hell I don’t know what.

  12. The Johnny Appleseed of Crack Says:

    Understand, that Bear is out there. It can’t be bargained with, it can’t be reasoned with, it doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, Ever! Until that kayak is dead.

  13. comatus Says:

    @12 “if there is a bear.”

    I don’t know. I fall for that “illicit sympathy” every time. Should she have tried gettin’ illicit with him?

  14. SPQR Says:

    Actually her shouting at it is a valid tactic, if you read the advice for a bear encounter. She did however waste the bear spray but that’s understandable.

  15. nk Says:

    The National Park Rangers are advising hikers in Glacier National Park and other Rocky Mountain parks to be alert for bears and take extra precautions to avoid an encounter.
    They advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge.
    Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear’s sensitive nose and it will run away.
    It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.
    Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell of pepper.

  16. nk Says:

    If you are going to go armed in bear country, the type of gun you carry depends on whether you are alone or with a companion. If you are alone, a rifle in a powerful caliber, say a .45-70, is recommended. If you are with a companion, a light pocket pistol, even .25ACP, should be sufficient.

  17. Patrick Says:

    @NK: I saw a sign with the “Grizzly dropping contain bells and pepper” in Alaska, though with a lot fewer words.

    It was on a trail head south of Anchorage and was a funny way of being serious. It also suggested carrying a gun of ‘sufficient caliber’.

    We didn’t take that walk. No gun, and no real interest in getting that tight with nature. We went bike riding around a glacial lake, instead. Two Army guys died at taht lake that day saving the lives of kayakers who fell into the cold water without life jackets. The army guys were on leave and fishing on shore when they jumped in to save the kayakers. We didn’t see any of it.

    The idiot kayakers should have gone hiking, instead. I know of just the place they should have gone…

  18. JTC Says:

    SPQR, incredibly annoying pleading and whining is not the same as shouting, and far from being a valid tactic to repel is more likely to attract and sound to the bear like a wounded small animal ready for dinner.

    nk, your spiel read like a boring gov pamphlet right up ’til the punchline…good one!

  19. ExPatNJ Says:

    Nuke bear from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

    Seriously … I commend this woman for being alert and prepared for a bear encounter – even if all she had was pepper spray. However, this is another example of the limitations of using pepper spray against an attacker. This attack was only temporarily halted, and the attacker was able redirect to another object of opportunity.

    When an attacker (it could have been 2-legged instead of a 4) begins destroying a vital survival resource, you don’t try to reason with it. The only response is to use whatever force is necessary to stop the assault, up to, and including lethal.

    Yet, somehow, I agree this woman is most likely hoplophobic, who, even if she ‘stooped’ to carrying a firearm of some sort, would never use it against a ‘poor, defenseless bear’.