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SayUncle’s Patented Universal Sling System

Or PUSS:

slingshot

Easily keep the sling of your truck gun at the ready, while eliminating the possibility of it getting tangled in your other stuff. $19.95. And we’ll throw in a PUSS for free! That’s right, you get two PUSSes for the price of one! Every man’s dream, amiright? And if you call now, I’ll toss in a third FOR MOTHERFUCKING FREE. Is this a good deal or what? I can’t believe it. Yeah, you get three PUSSes for less than $20. These PUSSes are top of the line and are guaranteed to stay tight. Tight around your sling. Operators are standing by to tell you about their PUSSes.

Or, you know, you can go get about 500 of them for about $4 on aisle three at Office Depot. Or at Amazon.

4 Responses to “SayUncle’s Patented Universal Sling System”

  1. mikkee Says:

    Not black, desert tan or camo, so not tacticool enough for your rather high, original price point.

    However, you didn’t have to kill your profit margin with that last sentence, either.

    I, for one, await the ones imported from surplus stocks of the IDF or SAS.

  2. Mike Says:

    It’s just crisco.

  3. comatus Says:

    Not at all interested in your line of waterproof-membrane muzzle protectors, either. Especially “pre-lubed.”

    Know the one about “Brits in Malaya, in the Fifties”?

  4. Sid Says:

    How much for an autographed edition?