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And if your car keys don’t work, you can always pee on yourself

Stupid self defense tips captured in photos. Ladies, buy a weapon. Preferably a gun.

14 Responses to “And if your car keys don’t work, you can always pee on yourself”

  1. Tom McCord Says:

    Also, why not buy a real knife!? After all that’s what they are telling women to do, use their car keys as adhoc knives.

    There are no moral differences between these adhoc weapons and per se weapons so just get the real thing!

  2. Raptor Says:

    Unfortunately, a gun (or any other weapon for that matter) is both useless and worthless if you don’t have the will or mindset to use it. With the possible exception of Ms. Love Knuckles, I don’t think any of the ladies in those photos have either the will or mindset.

  3. Divemedic Says:

    @Raptor: Especially since one of the women is pointing the pepper spray at her own face because she is holding it backwards.

  4. HL Says:

    In the movie “The Other Guys”, the chief of police takes away Will Ferrell’s gun and gives him a rape whistle instead. It was comic gold in film, but incredibly sad and depressing in real life.

    I’m sure others feel differently, but it just looks like an expression of complete submission. Do they work? I don’t know…but it seems as futile as a car alarm sounding in vain.

  5. nk Says:

    There’s something called a Kubotan which is actually a Chinese/Japanese marital aid being sold as a self-defense weapon. I was called both a “homo” and a “homophobe” for pointing it out on the YouTube infomercial. Basically, there’s hucksters peddling this “self-defense” nonsense the way they’d otherwise be peddling no-diet/no exercise weight-loss systems.

  6. Shrimp Says:


    I call BS on your made up history of the Kubaton. For one thing, it can’t be both Chinese and Japanese. Secondly, it was created in the early 1960s by Takayuki Kubota, as a small hand held weapon to assist in wrist locks, and hitting pressure points. If you’ve ever used one, or had someone who knew how to use one use it on you, they are quite effective. Are they the most most effective self-defense tool available? No. But they work, if you invest in learning how to use it.

    That said, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised there are individuals who have used it as a marital aid. But just because someone used it that way doesn’t make it a marital aid.

  7. Ron W Says:

    Why is it “a good thing” to relegate women to improvised weapons for self defense, but to discourage or even restrict or ban their CHOICE to using the most effective and best weapons?

  8. nk Says:

    I own one. I bought it when I was young and foolish and dancing kung fu, karate, tae kwon do, and iaido. I also have seen it used by a Chinese eunuch and his concubines in a Chinese Wus Shu movie, and by a Japanese lady in a Hanzo the Razor episode. And I’m also going by the shape. Link NSFW. (I mean it, definitely NSFW.)

    As for “it cannot be both Chinese and Japanese” there’s a lot of commonality in the Chinese and Japanese cultures. If they use the same characters for their alphabets, why can’t they use the same sex toys?

  9. nk Says:

    My comment 8 was in response to Shrimp’s 6.

  10. Justaguy Says:

    Ok fine I will say it….

    Do you find it odd that the women who are most vocal about the fear of rape are the least likely to be…. How do I say this… Targeted for any type of hedrosexual interactions

  11. HL Says:


    You will see these same women at the Asheville NC go Topless day…to protest sexual assault, or something.

  12. Shrimp Says:


    So, because you saw one used in a MOVIE or on TV, it must be a marital aid? It couldn’t possibly be that the person who wrote the movie/tv episode made that up, right? Or that they are super freaky and figured, hey this looks like it could be used for some freaky $#!+. I saw a Civil war movie once where a guy had an 1873 SA Army, so using your logic, they must have issued those before they were created, right?

    I’ll grant you the shape is phallic. So what? So is a baseball bat. I saw a video once where a woman…well, never mind. Does that mean that baseball bats were originally a marital aid?

    My point about the Chinese/Japanese origin was, it’s going to be one or the other, or neither, but not both. But since we know the true origin (a Japanese karate master in the 60s), it obviously isn’t what you claimed it to be.

    I’ll grant also that it’s entirely possible that there existed a marital aid of some sort that pre-existed the kubaton that happened to look like the kubaton. But that doesn’t make the kubaton a marital aid. Using that logic, my BB gun really IS a firearm, merely because it sort of looks like one.

    Lastly, I owned one too. No longer have it. When my aikido instructor pointed out how easy it was to use a pen (a sharpie works best) to do the exact same thing, I felt I no longer needed it. Nobody gives a sharpie a second look, but a Kubaton, they know what that is. I’ve been through court house security with my sharpie, but they wouldn’t let me take my kubaton.

  13. Deaf Smith Says:

    Now I don’t mind the pepper spray. That CAN help.

    The trouble with car keys and such is you have to get CLOSE and you have to be FAST.

    Those bozos on the photos don’t look like fighters. They don’t look fast. I have no doubt while they look ‘tough’ to themselves in the photos on the street it will be a much different matter.

    I say this as a 5th Dan who practices TKD, JKD, and Krav Maga.

    They would be better off with a combo of pepper spray and a knife/gun and some real training. Emphasis is on training.

  14. Braden Lynch Says:


    I carry an EDC knife and a kubotan and they are not even in the same league as a firearm. I’m working on that CCW license.

    Car keys in between your knuckles are going to harm you as much as your attacker and do minimal damage. The OC is viable if you use the Kimber system the one lady displays so you don’t douse yourself like with the silly misters.

    Still, I’m not seeing a defiant, fighting spirit in any of their eyes and I doubt they have any meaningful training. The results will be utterly predictable and tragic.

    They go to one “rape prevention” class and leave both paranoid and confident they can stop it. Get a firearm and training and get the equalization you deserve ladies.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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