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On Independence Day, we’re not independent enough to make booms

In The City (My The City), there’s a ban on fireworks. However, on holidays where fireworks are popular, the local police tend to look the other way unless they’re getting complaints. So, basically, if you have neighbors that are assholes, you’re probably not going to set off a lot of exploding things. And I have an asshole neighbor.

The police showed up and the officer looks at me and she says: Well, I think your neighbors are unpatriotic assholes but I’m giving you 15 minutes to shut down.

I thanked her and said it wouldn’t be a problem.

16 Responses to “On Independence Day, we’re not independent enough to make booms”

  1. HiddenHills Says:

    Has the taco-dog encountered a coyote yet?

  2. SPQR Says:

    My neighbors were setting off a lot of illegal fireworks Friday evening. And kept following up with more until after midnight.

    I’m a flaming asshole, but I didn’t even make a comment to them, even though they started a fire in my front lawn, until midnight myself.

  3. Adam Lawson Says:

    Heh. My neighbors set the damn woods on fire.

  4. Old NFO Says:

    Love the ‘selective’ enforcement… sigh

  5. Huck Says:

    Y’all live in the wrong part of the country. Here in Wyoming every kind of firework that one can buy is legal. Hell, it sounds like the battle of Gettysburg here every 4th of July and New Years. šŸ™‚

    Whenever “unpatriotic assholes” snivel about the fireworks here the cops just ignore them.

  6. KM Says:

    My neighbors either had some BIG firecrackers or had a semiauto 300 Win mag.
    Didn’t go past 10:00 or thereabouts so no big deal.
    I’m just pissed that they didn’t invite everyone out to join in – that’s what I like to do. šŸ™‚

  7. Jim Brack Says:

    Sorry to hear about that, real PITA. I have been blessed with good neighbors for the last 22 years or so. We did a nice little firework display as usual, interestingly enough many more neighbors also provided their own fireworks than ever before….go figure. But I was glad to see it!

  8. Tam Says:


    Here in Wyoming every kind of firework that one can buy is legal.

    In Tennessee every kind of firework one can buy is legal. They have huge fireworks stores at practically every other interstate exit. Unc is talking about a municipal ordinance.

  9. comatus Says:

    Bet that was a hell of a 15 minutes.

  10. Linoge Says:

    The one glimmer of hope I have for NC is how flagrantly the firework laws were ignored…

  11. ErnestM Says:

    I live outside of my city in a nice area where there are quite a few country folk on farms. Every year I look forward to sitting on the back porch and watching their RPG’s and Scud missiles. I think this year their finale was a minuteman. Two years ago they touched off a (no shit) black powder cannon.

  12. mikee Says:

    In Baltimore’s white trash Hampden neighborhood, holidays involved firing all the rounds from one’s handgun into the air. 5 or 6 shots for revolvers, 7 for a 1911, and 15 for the ubiquitous Glock owners.

    My neighbor, an electric line repairman, had a collection of empty casings he found around the broken lines and cracked insulators that needed fixing every year on the 2nd of January and the 5th of July. He theorized that random, drunken shots into the air are actually subconciously aimed very well at anything overhead.

  13. CaptDMO Says:

    Gee neighbor, does the idea of having explody things going off in the hood cause you concern?
    Think about that, this Fourth of July.
    BTW, Here’s a copy of the lyrics to The Star Spangled Banner.

  14. Paul B Says:

    In my neighborhood the same people who ride loud motorcycles complained about live music at the brew pub a block over.

    Pointed out he humor of the situation to the wife and I suddenly became the bad guy.

    Wife is becoming decidedly more erratic of late.

  15. NotClauswitz Says:

    We now live in a very dry, very high-fire danger area so my house insurance is up a tad. Some dumbass drunk lady down in the flatlands late at night flicked a butt out a window and five trailers went up in smoke in a matter of minutes, burnt to the ground and five families who were poor to begin with – so poor they didn’t even have big-screen TVs and A/C – now have even less zip-nada-squat. And on the 4th itself a 40-acre fire was (probably) started by a homeless camper and nearly burnt-down the Fair Grounds. Three other wildfires fires are still going off and you can see a line of thick yellow air down in the valley and smell the smoke up here in the hills. Everybody owns guns up here but nobody acts like ther 4th is an Arab Wedding party.
    We have our own township fireworks over a lake on the Saturday-night before whatever the 4th is, because most serious capitalists here work even on the 4th, especially if it’s a weekday and can’t or won’t afford to take a day off. You guys living in the Humid Zone should be grateful I guess with all the laxity. šŸ™‚

  16. Liston Says:

    People in Knox County, as a massive act of civil disobedience trek to Dixie Lee Junction to buy their fireworks at the county line in Loudon County.

    Meanwhile, Loudon County folks trek to Dixie Lee Junction to buy their booze in Knox County.