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Simple question

A question, to which Jay says the answer is complex: Why do you own guns?

No, it’s actually simple: Because I fucking can.

17 Responses to “Simple question”

  1. John Bernard Books Says:

    Because shut up.

  2. Jay G. Says:

    I yield to the gentleman from TN for the superior answer.

  3. jigsaw Says:

    Great answer 🙂

  4. nk Says:

    Because somebody doesn’t want me to.

  5. That Guy Says:


  6. Ellen Says:

    nk, I agree completely. If somebody wants to keep me from doing something, I’ll give that something a lot more attention.

  7. Too Many Zombie Games Says:

    While I prefer the Ring Lardner formulation JB Books got it right:

    Shut up he explained.

  8. Bubblehead Les Says:

    Because I believe in Equal Rights, just like Col.Colt said.

  9. Veeshir Says:

    Because I want to.
    I like guns, that’s why I have a bunch of them.

    I also like chess sets, that’s why I have a bunch of them.

    I also like books, that’s why I have a bunch of them.

  10. bob r Says:

    There are many things I *can* do that don’t interest me.
    There are many things other people don’t want me to do that also don’t interest me.
    None of the above enters into why I have guns.

    My answer to those who give the appearance that they think I need to *justify* why I own guns: fuck you, that’s why.

    For those who are curious about me as a person: Jay did a pretty good job — he could have been reading my mind.

  11. Adam Says:


  12. markofafreeman Says:

    It’s great to see Richochet asking the questions she’s asking.

    Last night after my weekly shoot with Mr. and Mrs. Knitebane, we went to the usual Golden Corral right near the range. For the second week in a row, I was asked about the gun on my hip. Last week it was the cashier who asked if we were members of a gun club or something. He actually thought it was quite awesome that I carried a gun.

    Last night, it was our waitress who asked; she wanted to know if I was a cop. When I said no and she asked why I carry it, I just said, “uh, because I can.” She gave this sort of mock scared look and backed away, sorta just in fun, but she clearly wasn’t used to seeing non-LEOs carrying guns. Turns out she’s originally from NYC, so that would explain some of the trepidation.

    But we didn’t want to just leave it at that and have her walk away thinking, “uh, oh, what’s this non-cop doing carrying a gun,” so we chatted with her a bit more about it and about situational awareness, “the interview,” etc., and I even asked if she wanted to come with us some time (though I was pretty sure her answer was going to be no, which it was).

    After our chat, I think she walked away a little more comfortable, or at least assured that we weren’t any kind of troublemakers.

    Well, we don’t make trouble for non-combatants, at least.

    So I finally got to use the “because I can” line, but at least tried to not be a dick about it. And I think it went fairly well.

  13. StanInTexas Says:

    Not my own words, but my thoughts…

    I do not carry a gun, because…
    •…I want to kill people. I carry a gun to keep from being killed.
    •…I want to scare people. I carry a gun, because sometimes the world is a scary place.
    •…I am paranoid. I carry a gun, because there are real threats in the world.
    •…I am evil. I carry a gun, because I have lived long enough to see evil.
    •…I hate the government. I carry a gun, because I understand the limitations of government.
    •…I am angry. I carry a gun so that I do not have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for being unprepared.
    •…I want to shoot someone. I carry a gun, because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, not on a sidewalk.
    •…I am a cowboy. I carry a gun, because, when I die and go to Heaven, I want to be a cowboy.
    •…I want to feel like a man. I carry a gun, because real men know how to take care of themselves and their loved-ones.
    •…I feel inadequate. I carry a gun; because, unarmed against thugs, I am inadequate.
    •…I love it. I carry a gun, because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.

  14. BenC Says:

    @markofafreeman I would have told her “for the same reason a cop does”

  15. StanInTexas Says:

    BenC, cops carry guns to protect THEMSELVES, not to protect you.

  16. BornLib Says:

    To quote a wise woman, “Because I can’t carry a cop.”

  17. DeaconC Says:

    I carry a sidearm for the same reason I have other tools. It is far better to have a tool I may never need than to need it and not have it.

    And like Breda told us, it weighs a damned sight less than regret.