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How’d that get up there?

There’s actually a book on the objects that doctors find in places they shouldn’t be. What possesses someone to try putting a light bulb in their butt? If you’re gonna do that, wouldn’t it make sense to use something that’s, oh I don’t know, not likely to break and fragment?

And the excuses are interesting. Yes, you fell, while naked, and that Buzz Lightyear went right up your rear.

Eye in the vagina would be a cool, but offensive, band name.

14 Responses to “How’d that get up there?”

  1. Kevin Baker Says:

    Two words: Jar squatter.

    As Christina put it, “OHMYGOD,NO!”

  2. mita Says:

    “And a b”

    ??

  3. cybrus Says:

    +1 to Kevin’s comment. And don’t forget the brain bleach.

  4. nk Says:

    Read the lightbulb story 40 years ago. It involved homosexuals. Same time, 40 years ago, homosexual “proposed” to his boyfriend by shoving a gold wedding band up his butt. ER to take both out.

    Perverts will do perverted things. Darwin’s rule twice — 1) no reproducing because you don’t like women and 2) that’s not how babies are made.

  5. Jay G. Says:

    “Eye in the vagina” was a hit for Survivor, wasn’t it?

  6. Magus Says:

    Some doors are exit only. Some streets are for one-way traffic. “Bad Things(TM)” can happen when you violate the rules.

  7. TIM Says:

    I Love the Eye In Vagina Story.Hold on let me take care of this Plopppp O.K. Lets Fight Bitch!!!!

  8. Cargosquid Says:

    I’m already hearing a remake of Eye of the Tiger with the substitution….can’t get it out of my head…

    Thanks.

  9. Paul Says:

    Perverts play with their sewer system all the time. I have no doubt AIDS came about that way.

    Don’t believe me? Go look up how many diseases are caused by open sewers for drinking water downhill from them. And ramming things up them, like part of your body, just transfers them so much faster.

  10. HL Says:

    Drake and I went to highschool with a guy who got a dildo stuck in his. He said he was naked changing a lightbulb and fell on it. It was just innocently sitting out, pointy end up,I guess.

    Later he realized his story was weak, so he said he was trying to show his girlfriend how to use it…again, that story really wasn’t any better if you think about it.

  11. Phenicks Says:

    I worked in an ER in Kansas City in the early 90’s. Saw a guy w/ an intact 300w light bulb inserted completely. The surgeon wanted to remove it w/o cutting into the rectal muscle and colon if he could so I got to go to the hospital gift shop to buy a sucker gun and a tube of super glue. He shot the rectum full of muscle relaxant, stuck on the plastic sucker and it came out in one piece. Slicker then … well you know the saying.

  12. Stranger Says:

    About thirty years ago I was in the ER trying to convince the Doc I was not having a heart attack – she finally convinced me – when some guy came in with a Ban roll on deodorant dispenser with the cap still on up him. The kind with the big silver top.

    Said he sat on it. From what the Doc said, he had never used either soap or deodorant in his life. But he sure needed to.

    Stranger

  13. gattsuru Says:

    Eh… use a toy actually designed for the job, with a flanged base, and it might not be everyone’s cup of tea — on either side of the heterosexual/homosexual fence — but it’s not something that’s especially likely to cause problems; we’re talking prostate exam, not colonoscopy.

    As for why breakable glass, two groups. The first is the stupid. There *are* safe tempered glass sex toys, both oriented for guys and the gals, and a lot of folk take the wrong conclusion from that. Or they just have no idea what they’re doing: it’s the same problem at its core as guys using soap to wank and finding themselves in a hell of a lot of pain the next day.

    The second is the really stupid, who know better but think it’s fun to do dangerous stuff. We live in a world where the range’s Desert Eagle is inevitably both the big money-maker and always rented by folk who are only the luck of fools away from blasting their own foot into a fine red mist; it’s not limited to guns.

    None of this is an especially “gay” thing: outside of the unfortunate tendency for a lot of gay guys to fall hard on the Democratic vote lever, neither stupidity nor prostate sensitivity is particularly limited to homosexuals.

  14. Gnarly Sheen Says:

    This video seems appropriate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7EpGryDcfw

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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