Kids and zombies and real and make believe
Junior is sort of obsessed with zombies. Not a full on obsession just in that they’re fun to play and make believe about. Last night, she was playing Plants v. Zombies and she says to me: Daddy, If there were real zombies, what would you do?
Me: I’d go south.
Her: Why?
Me: Because the only thing that sucks more than fighting zombies is fighting zombies in the cold.
Her: So, we can fight zombies on the beach?
Me: Yes.
Her: Awesome!
And just prior to that, she asks her mom: Why would someone make up the word vampire when vampires are not even real?
I chime in with: Same reason someone would make up iCarly. Entertainment.
Her: Shut up, Dad.
July 1st, 2011 at 9:53 am
Isn’t cold weather Nature’s bleach?
If it is hot and slimy isn’t that a fun park for the zombie virus?
July 1st, 2011 at 9:59 am
Looks like it’s time for some of the new Zombie splatter targets Unc… 🙂
July 1st, 2011 at 10:17 am
I was under the impression that cold weather inhibits the movement of the zombies, thus easier to target and kill or at the very least pop off their limbs.
July 1st, 2011 at 10:40 am
Fighting zombies on the beach? You’re spoiling that girl!
July 1st, 2011 at 10:41 am
Drake, if it gets too cold, the zeds just freeze and go inactive, but not dead. You can’t tell the difference between a destroyed zed and an inactive frozen one. Then they get covered by the snow and you can’t find them.
Spring comes and bam, zeds popping up like daisies, and you’re at the end of your winter-time food stores.
July 1st, 2011 at 11:04 am
Well played on the iCarly comment sir.
July 1st, 2011 at 11:23 am
I still believe I would prefer that to say a beach, when the undead would just rise up from the sea bed..besides it doesn’t always snow everytime it gets cold.
July 1st, 2011 at 11:25 am
I don’t think zombies can swim.
July 1st, 2011 at 11:37 am
Swim no, but World War Z references them walking up from the sea beds.
July 1st, 2011 at 11:37 am
then i’m getting a boat!
July 1st, 2011 at 11:38 am
You don’t have to be able to tell the difference. If they can’t move, just remove their heads whatever way is convenient. You can probably put a pretty good dent in the population before and after snow but while they’re still inhibited.
July 1st, 2011 at 11:42 am
I’m told greasing the anchor line is a good idea.
July 1st, 2011 at 11:55 am
Once the Zombies Freeze or at least stiffen up you can machette them up…or at least have a little Demo-Derby fun with an up-armored Earth Fucker in the snow.
Maybe its because I’m from Maine and my blood is thick enough to tolerate cold, and where my state ends and the ocean begins are these hard things called “Rocks”, sand is what you find in the pits you go shooting in!
But I’d take cruising through the snow at high speed in a 4X4 with a bladed cow-catcher on the grill with the heat turned up and the radio on high, over some sandy beach any day!
July 1st, 2011 at 12:26 pm
If the Zombie is fresh, can you eat the meat provided you cook it properly? If so, I favor the cold weather as well as it will aid in preservation.
I say we eat a human.
July 1st, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I would expect eating them would be about the same as being bitten by one.
But the benefit to the warm weather is that the bugs will eat the zombies down to the bone if you live in the right area.
July 1st, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Freezing the zombies would destroy them effectively. Without any sort of protection, the flesh is all gonna turn to mush when it’s thawed out.
As an experiment, take a steak, don’t wrap it in anything, and leave it on a plate in your freezer for a few weeks.
Then thaw it out and watch what happens.
July 1st, 2011 at 2:33 pm
How does “Plants vs. Zombies” work out if the plants are Triffids?
July 1st, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Fewer people live and have lived in the north so fewer Zeds by an order of magnitude at least and they aren’t going to walk there.
Especially because the north typically has less easy zombie-shuffle terrain (if I can’t get through blowdowns they sure as hell can’t) and road infrastructure as well.
Even further north, the tundra is a big bog of hummocks in the summer, they aren’t making it more than a couple miles before they fall apart from falling down.
July 1st, 2011 at 4:12 pm
In the warm weather, mosquitos that carry zombie blood would infect people that they bite. AMIRITE?!
July 1st, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Fucema asks a very important question. I would have to think so. But I still think you can cook the zombie meat thoroughly.
July 1st, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Look up the movie “Dead Snow”.
July 1st, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Just be glad she isn’t one of those Hippie Pro-Zombie Lovers that are springing up. Giving them Civil Rights, Free Housing, Free Education….
July 1st, 2011 at 10:23 pm
How many of you conceived your children just so they could become slaves to this obongo, communist, socialist, nazi, african/? dictator?
July 4th, 2011 at 6:30 pm
In the warm weather, mosquitos that carry zombie blood would infect people that they bite. AMIRITE?!
No. Without actual blood flow, the zombie does not attract a mosquito.
July 4th, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Mosquitos are attracted to the CO2 we offgas, even through our skin, not our blood per se.
That’s how mosquito traps work.
Though zombies shouldn’t be converting O2 to CO2 so the point is still valid.
July 7th, 2011 at 5:14 am
“Same reason someone would make up iCarly. Entertainment.”
If that’s the case, it’s a very poor attempt. As one who has suffered in front of that crud with my niece, I can say it does not accomplish the goal. That it is intended for children is not an excuse, because anything intended for children will be shared with adults eventually.
Now Spongebob Squarepants? I’m on for that.