Getting back at TSA
Restaurant at Seattle airport refuses to serve TSA agents:
She says that whenever a TSA agent attempts to dine at the restaurant, “we turn our backs and completely ignore them, and tell them to leave… Their kind aren’t welcomed in our establishment.”
The restaurant claims that 90% of its patrons are in agreement with their stance and that the local police have actually helped escort TSA workers of the premises.
Hell yeah.
Update: Seems no one can locate the restaurant that is doing this. Could be a hoax. Still, that this story took off seems to indicate it struck a nerve.
February 26th, 2011 at 4:32 am
As much as I hate the recent
developments at “Central Perk”, I
feel sorry for most coffee drinkers. They
didn ’t ask for any of this, they probably
realize just how pointless it is to try and get a fricken seat on the couch,
and every Ross & Rachel now hates
their ass.
Aside from a couple of Chandlers & Joies (who are douch bags anyway),
most of these people have to choose
between sitting at the counter
against their choosing or not getting served by a flamboantly gay albino.
…
and seriously, where are you going to
go if a whore like Phibi won’t sleep with you!?
February 26th, 2011 at 8:47 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in surrealism, I feel sorry for most melting alarm clocks. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize how pointless it all is to try to not fall out of that disembodied hand with an eyeball in its wrist, and every flying crocodile and Rorhrshach test hates your sorry gooey wind up key.
Aside from a couple of Monets and Rockwells (who are real painters anyway), most of these people have to choose between painting visual delirium tremens or not being able to justify their government subsidized stipend.
And seriously, where are you going to go when a rational person points out that your art is pretentious B.S.?
February 26th, 2011 at 10:17 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in the hatch, I feel sorry for The Dharma Initiative. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Desmond and Oceanic 815 survivor now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Others (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between pushing the button against their choosing or discharging massive amounts of electromagnetism into the universe.
…
and seriously, don’t tell John Locke what he can’t do!
February 26th, 2011 at 11:26 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in the year 2263, I feel sorry for the Mangalores. They didn’t ask for any of this, and they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Mondoshawan, Diva, and even Korben Dallas’ cat now hates their ass.
Aside from Zorg and his minions (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing, or losing their job.
and seriously, where are you going to go if the Dark Planet isn’t stopped by Leeloo?
February 26th, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Those who trade liberty for security deserve neither.
February 26th, 2011 at 1:47 pm
thanks Mackenzie for playing the part of “missed the point” guy
February 26th, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Much as I hate recent developments over at Heorot, I feel sorry for the Spear-Danes. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize how pointless their work is, and now the entire race of Cain hates their ass and their singing, too.
Aside from a few kin-slaying oathbreakers (who are to be found sitting right on the meadbench!)most of these guys get to choose between getting eaten alive against their choosing or breaking their mead-vows.
And where are you going to go if Hrothgar quits giving you beer?
February 26th, 2011 at 2:46 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments on my cross country flight, I feel sorry for most of the muslims who are about to see their religion hijacked. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their koran is, and every infidel and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of perverts (who are found to be the jihadis everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire burqa and sharia thing against their choosing or losing their head.
…
And seriously, where else can you go on this earth for 72 (pre-pubescent > rhymes with crescent) virgins.
February 26th, 2011 at 3:19 pm
For Nudge:
As much ass I hate za recent defelopments here in za bunker, I feel zorry for most uff za General Schtaff. Zey didn’t ask for any uff zis, zey probably realize just how pointless zeir vork iss, undt effry man undt his hundt now hates zeir Heinie.
Azide from a couple uff perverts (who are to be found pretty much effryvere in za SS), most uff zese guys get to choose betveen juss vollowink ohdahs against zeir choosing or losing zeir lives.
…
undt zeriously, vere are you goink to go if za Gestapo fires at you!?
February 26th, 2011 at 4:01 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments at the Hygiene Squadron, I feel sorry for most of those jolly good chaps (especially Constable Clitoris). They didn’t ask to go around having to sample the bloody confectionery (especially at that godawful Whizzo Chocolate Company), they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his pet fish called Eric now hates their arse.
Aside from a couple of malodorous perverts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these blokes get to choose between popping a nice little chocky in their mouth and having stainless steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through both cheeks or puking into their helmets after swallowing something called Rams Bladder cup or Cockroach Cluster!
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the HS sacks you!? The bloody Ministry of Silly Walks??? C’mon!…be fair!!
February 26th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments on Teegeeack, I feel sorry for most body thetans. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their infestation is, and every OT III and his e-meter now hates their engrams.
Aside from a couple of Suppressive Persons (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire money-extorting, life-destroying cult thing against their choosing or losing their space DC-8.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if Lord Xenu drops you into a volcano and detonates hydrogen bombs!?
February 26th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Autant que je déteste l’évolution récente de la “sécurité” aeroportique, je suis désolé pour la plupart personnels AST. Ils n’ont pas demandé de tout cela, ils ont probablement réaliser à quel point leur travail est inutile, et de chaque homme et son chien déteste maintenant leur cul.
Mis à part un couple de pédée (qui se trouvent un peu partout), la plupart de ces gars-là de choisir entre rouler avec l’ensemble de chose contre leur choix ou de perdre leur emploi.
…
et sérieux, où allez-vous aller si vous le AST feux!?
February 26th, 2011 at 6:22 pm
As much as I love the recent comments on “Say Uncle” about developments in airport “security”, I feel sorry for Micheal Hawkins. He didn’t ask for any of this, he probably realizes just how pointless his excuse for the TSA is, and every man and his dog now associates his name with a new form of Internet abuse akin to “Fisking.”
Aside from a couple of moments of shame (which everyone experiences from time to time), Hawkins gets to choose between rolling with the entire thing, embracing his new-found fame, or losing his sense of humor.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the Internet wants to make you famous!?
February 26th, 2011 at 7:17 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in City 17, I feel sorry for most of the Combine. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every rebel and his giant mechanical dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Advisors (who are to be found sucking brains pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between trying to annihilate the Freeman whilst transmitting the data packet back to the Combine Overworld or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the G-man fires you!?
February 26th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in climate change, I feel sorry for snow plow drivers. They didn’t ask for any of this,they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and how every man and their dog hates their ass when they plow the snow back into the end of a just snow-blowed driveway.
Aside from kids and teachers who are happy about snow days (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), public works employees are about the only people who enjoy a road with 3-foot drifts after a snow storm, because that means double time.
…
And seriously, where are you going to go if you can’t get your car past the end of your driveway?
February 26th, 2011 at 9:26 pm
s much as I hate the recent developments in The Grid, I feel sorry for CLU. He didn’t ask for any of this, he probably realizes just how unobtainable perfection is, and every program and French robot now hates his glorious ass.
Aside from a couple of rectified programs, most of these guys get to choose between fighting in the Disc Wars or losing their digital lives.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if ISOs can be allowed to exist without being genocided?
February 26th, 2011 at 10:13 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Zombieland, I feel sorry for all those Undeads. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is and every living being now hates their ass.
Aside from a few real card-holding, brain-hunting freaks, most of these guys get to choose between herding together as a mindless blood-hungry mob, or losing their job.
and seriously, where are you going to go if you get drummed out of the ranks of the non-sentient army?
February 26th, 2011 at 11:42 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in KAIBA Corporation, I feel sorry for most Duelists. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Rare Hunters (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between screwing the rules or losing the game.
…
and seriously, what will you do if you are Kaiba Stomped!?
February 27th, 2011 at 1:44 am
As much as I hate conservative ideologues … I have nothing to add. I just hate conservative idealogues.
February 27th, 2011 at 3:28 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in Mechanicsburg, I feel sorry for most constructs. They didn’t ask to be created, they probably realise Klaus Wulfenbach is after them, and every slaver wasp and Jägermonster in the area now hate their ass.
Aside from Bangladesh Dupree and Othar Tryggvassen (who seem to turn up pretty much everywhere), most of these constructs get to choose between letting a spark work on them or being rebuilt into clanks.
…
And seriously, where are you going to go if the Castle rejects you?
February 27th, 2011 at 4:23 am
As much as I hate the recent developments between the Sarris and the Thermians, I feel sorry for most of Sarris’s crew. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their war is, and every man and his octopoid alien girlfriend hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of megalomaniacal warlords (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or getting shoved out an airlock or digitized.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if a troupe of third-rate actors kicks your ass and makes off with the Omega13?
February 27th, 2011 at 4:39 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in Cleveland, I feel sorry for Lebron James. He didn’t ask for any of this, he probably realizes just how pointless his work is, and every Cavs fan and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Oympians (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or staying with a pathetic franchise.
February 27th, 2011 at 5:25 am
As much as I hate women with bare legs, I feel sorry for the ones wearing pantyhose. They did not ask for the itchy, warm stuff, and every empowered, barelegged woman probably hates their ass.
Aside from a few hose wearers in the business world(who are usually hidden away from the public eye)most of these women get to romp and frolic sans legwear.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go to find women who love wearing it?
February 27th, 2011 at 5:41 am
As much as I hate minimalists,
…
?
February 27th, 2011 at 7:44 am
As much as one must deplore the recent developments at Netherfield, one ought to have some sympathy for most of the militia. They did not sign up for this, they probably realise how pointless all that dancing is, and every non-uniformed man (especially Mr Darcy) now resents their presence.
Aside from a couple of evil seducers with no morals, (who were last seen leaving Brighton in the company of Lydia Bennet), most of the officers get to choose between polite flirtation with no hope of a marriage, or dancing with that nasty Miss King with all the freckles.
…
And seriously, where can a young man hide so well than in London?
February 27th, 2011 at 10:17 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in proposed United States laws, I feel sorry for most anti-women’s health care assistance fueled politicians. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their lives are, and every man, poor and broke ass pregnant woman on medicaid, and their baby daddy dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of rich jersey shore-lookin’ whores (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between making women have babies that they don’t want to have, even if they are in dire medical need of terminating the pregnancy or losing their freedom as a result of abortions and miscarriages that are deemed suspicious by the AWES0MEZ0RS militant united states government.
…
And seriously.. Where can you get ten dollar back alley abortions easier than in the United States?
February 27th, 2011 at 10:23 am
As much as I hate the recent developments on platform 9 3/4, I feel sorry for most Muggles. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their feeble attempt at performing magickal tasks is, and every hippogriff, screaming mandrake, and ugly blonde whiny spoiled ass brat now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of slytherins (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to become absolutely nothing when lost in the wake of the real magickal folk out there, or trying to live up to Miss Granger’s being so bad-ass..
…
And seriously.. where can you get a sexy uncircumsized wizard like harry potter any easier than straight (or maybe not so straight) out of England?
February 27th, 2011 at 11:55 am
As much as I hate the recent developments at Camp Green Lake, I feel sorry for the Warden and Mr. Sir. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their feeble attempt at digging holes is, and every Zero, X-Ray, and Twitch now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Stanley Yelnats (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to become absolutely nothing when lost in the wake of the real dry lakebed out there, or trying to live up to solving bad foot odor through Sploosh.
…
And seriously…what are you going to do when the treasure chest has a palindromic name on it?
February 27th, 2011 at 4:07 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments at the Citadel, I feel sorry for the Reapers. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their attempt at destroying all sentient life is, and now every human in Cerberus and the Alliance hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of indoctrinated slaves (who are to be found pretty much every where), most of these guys get to choose between hanging out in dark space, or being blown to hell when Commander Shepard shows up.
And seriously, what are you going to do when the organic beings you intended to harvest show up in the Normandy and Joker shows you his baby’s new teeth?
February 27th, 2011 at 11:04 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Sunnyvale Trailer Park, I feel sorry for Randy and Mr. Lahey. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and Bubbles and his kitties now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of perverts (who are just rehearsing for a play at the Blandford Recreation Centre), most of these guys get to choose between shutting down Ricky and Julians dope trailer against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if you can no longer be the liquor, boy!?
Gnome’sayin!?
February 28th, 2011 at 2:24 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in Tokyo, I feel sorry for Godzilla. He didnt ask for any of this, he probably realizes just how pointless his work is, and every Japanese and Mothra now hates his ass.
Aside from a couple of hack special effects artists(Who are to be found in virtually every b-movie action flick) most japanese monsters have to choose between eating very surprized fishermen or destroying the city.
And seriously, where you gonna go when a mega-dose of radiation makes your body grow to 500 times its original size!
February 28th, 2011 at 3:07 am
Arrr! As much as me hates the recent de’elopments in seaport ‘security,’ I be weepin’ the mother of all tears for most Royal Navy scurvy bilge rat personnel. They didn’t ask for any o’ this, they perchance realize just how marooned their trade is, and e’ery freebootin’ man and his addled, pox ridden dog now be a wantin’ to keel haul their booty, give ’em the cat o’ nine tails, and crush their barnacles to bits to feed t’ the fish!
Aside from a couple o’ jolly rogers (who mean t’ be found pretty much e’erywhar rovin’ the high seas and weighin’ anchor), most o’ these guys be forced to choose smartly betwixt press ganging labor fit only fer a powder monkey or walkin’ the plank.
Aye, there be no parlay for them! Savvy? What will ye do if yer sent down to Davey Jones’ locker?! Shiver me timbers!
February 28th, 2011 at 3:42 am
Arrr! As much as me hates the recent de’elopments in seaport ’security,’ I be weepin’ the mother of all tears for most Royal Navy scurvy bilge rat personnel. They didn’t ask for any o’ this, they perchance realize just how marooned their trade is, and e’ery freebootin’ man and his addled, pox ridden dog now be a wantin’ to keel haul their booty, give ‘em the cat o’ nine tails, and crush their barnacles to bits to feed t’ the fish!
Aside from a couple o’ jolly rogers (who mean t’ be found pretty much e’erywhar rovin’ the high seas and weighin’ anchor), most o’ these landlubbers be forced to choose smartly betwixt press ganging labor fit only for a powder monkey or walkin’ the plank.
Aye, there be no parlay for them! Savvy? What will ye do if yer sent down to Davey Jones’ locker?! Shiver me timbers!
February 28th, 2011 at 8:34 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in Japan, I feel sorry for the refugees. They didnt ask for any of this, and they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Section 9 member and their Tachikoma Think tank hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of hackers, government spies, and cyber brains(Who are to be found in virtually any network) most refugees in Japan have to choose between eating taking low pay under the table jobs or starving.
And seriously, where you gonna go when a country refuses to allow you to immigrate!
February 28th, 2011 at 2:50 pm
As much as I hate recent developments at Camp Crystal Lake, I feel sorry for Jason. He didn’t ask for any of this, probably realizes how pointless his work is, and now every drunk football player and virgin cheerleader hates his ass.
Aside from a couple of girls who remind him of his mother (who are to be found in pretty much every film), most of these kids have to choose between rolling on home or suffering from a hatchet in the face.
And seriously, where you gonna go when your car doesn’t turn over?
February 28th, 2011 at 3:19 pm
As much as I hate recent developments in Hell, I feel sorry for the Cenobites. Other than the secret contract with pain that is implicit solving a puzzle box that happens to be the Lament Configuration, they didn’t ask for any of this, and probably realize how pointless their word of rending people to bits with hooks and chains is, and now every man and his dog hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of pinheads who really enjoy their work, (who are to be found pretty much anywhere), most of these things have to choose between to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or being chopped up into little itty bits and nailed to a large block of wood piece by piece for all eternity.
And seriously, who wouldn’t play with a puzzle box they found in their disappeared uncle’s attic?
February 28th, 2011 at 3:50 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments on Lorien, I feel sorry for most Mogodorians. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and Number Four now thinks you’re number two.
Aside from a few 40-foot, bunker-busting deathbeasts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire genocide-and-planet-rape thing against their choosing or losing their lives of conspicuous consumption.
…
and seriously, how are you going to score a sequel once everyone figures out that “Pittacus Lore” is really James Frey?
February 28th, 2011 at 4:01 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments at Neptune High, I feel sorry for most ’09ers. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize how pointless their petty class warfare is, and every PCHer, girl detective, and her pit bull now hates theit ass.
Aside from a few obligatory psychotic jackasses (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or rolling over a cliff in Beaver’s bus.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if you lose your Pirate Points? Pan? Dude, Pan sucks.
February 28th, 2011 at 9:07 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Saturday Night Live “comedy”, I feel sorry for most SNL talent. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every witty man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of actually funny people (who are to be found pretty much everywhere except SNL), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if SNL fires you!?
February 28th, 2011 at 10:28 pm
as much as i hate the recent development’s in Bert and Ernies relationship i feel sorry for Ernie it’s not his falut he’s gay he hasnt had company since well ever really he never wanted any of this now every one hate’s his gay ass
Exept for a few gay dude’s (that can be found alomst any where)
…
and seriously where are you gonna go if you get kicked of sesame street
February 28th, 2011 at 10:31 pm
off
February 28th, 2011 at 11:49 pm
As much as I hate to stop reading the comments, I feel sorry for myself for doing so. After all, it’s not my fault I have chores to do and I’m hated when I don’t do it.
Except for a few lazy days(that can happen almost anytime), seriously, what can you do but go about your work and submit this great post/comments section to Drudge Report.
March 1st, 2011 at 8:57 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in the MTAC, I feel sorry for most Senior Agents. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Probie and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Hinkey ME’s and forensics scientists in unique clothing (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing a gun fight with a hot Mossad officer.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if Gibbs wont smack you!?
March 1st, 2011 at 9:43 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in Libria, I (can’t) feel sorry for most Tetragrammaton. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Sense Offender and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Grammaton Clerics (who are constantly going into the Nether on offical business), most of these guys get to choose between taking their Prozium or losing their dose and being shot through a book.
…
and seriously, what are you going to do if Father declares your newest idea EC-10?
March 1st, 2011 at 11:11 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in the “Main Stream Media”, I feel sorry for most on-air talent. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a few MSNBC pundits (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
And seriously, where are you going to go if you can’t toss your corporate masters’ salad any more?
March 1st, 2011 at 2:14 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in A.D. 2101, I feel sorry for Zero Wing. They didn’t ask for we get signal and main screen turn on, they probably realize all your base are belong to us, and you are on the way to destruction.
Aside from a couple of gentlemen (who know what you doing), most of these guys get to make your time between rolling with the entire thing for great justice or take off every ‘ZIG’!!
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if somebody set up us the bomb!?
March 1st, 2011 at 5:38 pm
As much as i hate leaving this site, I feel sorry for my wife. She didn’t ask for any of this and probably realizes how important it is that i work and would love to kick my ass.
Aside from from a few nibbles(which are not found everywhere), mostly I get to choose between moving out or getting a job. And seriously, where besides the tsa or atf can I start working.
March 1st, 2011 at 11:53 pm
all this is funny and, as evidenced by the many good take offs, usefully clever. But there is a distinction between intrinsically bad and bad but with defensible intentions and poor conception/obliviousness to unintended consequences. in that sense, not acquiescing to the needs of the greater society is offensive and wrong. These guys are our neighbors and family members, and they are not in any way, shape or form bad people for wanting us to pay for everything they want. They have a right to be respected. I hate the whole incompetent parasite thing, and would do things differently, but there is a near absolute obligation in a civilized community to show people respect when they suck the very life’s blood out of the productive in society. I repeat, jokes aside, it’s their right to receive it and for the lucky ones who deferred gratification, stayed in school, and worked (sometimes a second job), it is their obligation to give it.
March 1st, 2011 at 11:56 pm
all this is funny and, as evidenced by the many good take offs, usefully clever. But there is a distinction between intrinsically bad and bad but with defensible intentions and poor conception/obliviousness to unintended consequences. in that sense, not acquiescing to the needy whining of society’s parasites is offensive and wrong. These guys are our neighbors and family members, and they are not in any way, shape or form bad people for wanting us to pay for their every whim. They have a right to be respected. I hate the whole incompetent loser blood sucker thing, and would do things differently, but there is a near absolute obligation in a civilized community to show people respect when they drink the allegorical marrow from your bones. I repeat, jokes aside, it’s their right to receive it and our seemingly unlimited obligation to give it.
March 2nd, 2011 at 12:33 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in the Digital World, I feel sorry for all those Programs. They didn’t ask for any of this, and they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every User and their Bits now hates their ass.
Aside from the Master Control Program (who can be found pretty much everywhere) most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing, or getting De-Rezzed.
and seriously, where are you going to go if you get stuck in the Battle Grid?