Knock your socks off
Or the opposite of that.
Getting ready for a shower and was laying out something to wear. My socks were inside out. Now, I usually take a sock, push the toe through and then give it a snap of the wrist to get the sock the way it’s supposed to be. I did that and it didn’t quite work and the sock snapped down and hit me right in the junk. It literally caused me to knuckle over.
Ouch.
December 12th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Well, at least you didn’t do something silly like sneeze violently in the kitchen and almost knock Yourself out on the countertop…….or step into your jeans in front of the Wife and promptly faceplant on the floor. Not that ever happened to me or anything……….
December 12th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
TMI
December 12th, 2010 at 6:47 pm
That sounds decidely unpleasant, sir.
December 12th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Or run out of the bedroom to answer the phone at 3:00AM and, quite literally, do a perfect face plant on the kitchen floor because you had way tooooooo much to dring earlier.
I didn’t even lose any teeth. But it took me 5 minutes to get up off the floor. And my best bud belly laughed the next day when I told him about it.
I blame it on the mat in front of the kitchen sink, not the booze. But we all know what the true culprit is!
Bad news is, you were sober!!
December 12th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Driving and see something out of the corner of my eye. Spider drops from roof of car into my lap, and I reflexively smack it and clobber myself in the nuts.
December 12th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Always make my 14yo turn his socks rightside out before they go in the laundry. If he was one of those to turn his shirts inside out, he’d be doing those, too. XYL has to, also. If I’m doin the laundry, it’s my rules.
December 12th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Running around “sans culottes”, like another blogger I know, is dangerous without proper training.
December 12th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Feel lucky, Keith Olberman pays $250 to get that done to him…
December 12th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
Dude, what do you have in those socks anyway?
December 12th, 2010 at 10:45 pm
Never fails!!!
December 12th, 2010 at 10:53 pm
What is this sudden over-use of the term ‘junk’?
As Leno said, when did ‘the Family Jewels’ become junk?
December 12th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
Would you prefer i used nads, balls or scrote?
December 12th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
My wife was tiredly driving her share of a long stretch of road. When a pair of eyeglasses fell to the floor from the compartment above the rear view mirror she honked the horn and swerved to avoid it.
We were both soberly awake the rest of that trip.
December 12th, 2010 at 11:16 pm
Wow. The honesty is admirable, but, guys — don’t tell your insurance agents.
December 13th, 2010 at 8:09 am
Three things:
1) TMI
2) Harden the hell up
3) Never speak of this again
December 13th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
CUP CHECK!
December 13th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Ditto what Flight-ER-Doc said. Sheesh.
December 13th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
See, that’s hilarious. Because it wasn’t me.
December 13th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
This calls for a Charlie Pride song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shmyrS9RgEM Safe for work. 😉
December 13th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
Reference (crystal chandelier) for non-Charles Bronson fans: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=268F5osfi8c NOT Safe For Work.
December 14th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Nardio-Scroticular self flagulation is frowned upon, in most areas of modern society. That’s why I keep those little plastic hangers that my socks come on.
December 15th, 2010 at 10:09 am
If it makes you feel any better, when I’m setting out an extension cord at work and it’s all tangled, I invariably try to shake it loose, and just as invariably whip myself in the groin with a high speed tangled knot of cords. All you need is a light tap in that region to produce eye-watering agony, but somehow, this fact keeps escaping me.