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Who you tryin’ to get crazy with ese? Don’t you know I’m Loko?

Until today, I had never heard of Four Loko. But apparently people want it banned because, uhm, people who drink alcohol have been known to do dumb things. That is one shocking revelation, right there.

Seems that caffeine and alcohol, per the FDA, should never be mixed. Ever. Are they going to ban bourbon and coke?

Related music link, because a cracka like me is going insane.

32 Responses to “Who you tryin’ to get crazy with ese? Don’t you know I’m Loko?”

  1. Rustmiester Says:

    Thankfully, Long Island Iced Tea has no actual tea in it.

  2. Jay G. Says:

    Needless to say, MA is one of the states joining in the “WE HAVE FOUND A WITCH, MAY BE BAN HER” bandwagon…

  3. Jay G. Says:

    Oh bloody hell, that should be “MAY WE BAN HER”…

  4. mikee Says:

    Kids these days, and their crazy intoxicating energizing beverages! To think that I used to worry that plain old tequila, drunk to excess, always made me want to commit arson. Thank goodness nobody ever invented a drink like rum and coke, or who knows what trouble we might have gotten into!

  5. Shelley Rae Says:

    Because clearly the government should be able to tell me what to eat and drink since I’m either too stupid or too lazy to read labels and figure it out myself.

  6. Hypnagogue Says:

    Unc, please! The polite term is Saltine-American.

  7. SayUncle Says:

    Hypnagogue wins. I can’t top that.

  8. Bill Says:

    All triggered by this:

    http://www.king5.com/news/local/At-least-12-college-students-teens-overdose-at-Roslyn-party-104630719.html

    Which ultimately was found to be caused by drinking large amounts of Lokos!!

    Never mind that you get the same effect by simply dumping enough energy drink in with a bottle of whatever, or better yet, dissolving NoDoz in the booze!!

  9. RML Says:

    Coffee and brandy here, please.

    When Wild Turkey and black tea hot toddies are outlawed, only outlaws with colds will drink Turkey and tea hot toddies.

  10. James Says:

    Saw the usual PSH on the news the other morning concerning this stuff. This is ridiculous. Of course, that’s become the norm for NBC and MSNBC, they get some “doctor” lady on the screen and they complain about how dangerous everything is.

    Yes, please save us from ourselves, Mr. government. *roll eyes*

  11. The Comedian Says:

    When the whinging about Four Loco started up a few weeks back my coworkers and I went on a hunt for the stuff. It is actually hard to find in central CT.

    I finally found a seller last week and bought a can. In CT it came in a 23.5 ounce can that was 12% ABV, so about four and a half beers worth of ethanol in one can. $2.79 plus tax and $0.05 deposit.

    I brought it into work and had an impromptu tasting of the “Lemon Lime” flavor one afternoon.

    I hated the crap. It tastes like ass. Another three tasters stopped before having even an ounce.

    Two other fellas finished the balance of the can with one doing the heavy lifting. The next day he reported difficulty getting to sleep that evening (7 hours later!) due to the after effects of the caffeine & other “energy” ingredients of the drink, keeping him up 2-3 hours past his normal bed time.

    I don’t think this stuff should be banned.

    I do, however, think no one should buy it.

    It tastes awful.

    But, if your goal is to get F’ed up and stay up all night, well then, step right up.

    (NOTE: CT distributors have agreed to not sell any more Four Loco starting December 10th.)

  12. jefferson101 Says:

    Bourbon and coke? That’s nothing. Imagine the havoc that people will be wreaking, both on themselves and others, after they get outside of a couple of Irish Coffees!

    The horror, the horror!

  13. Diomed Says:

    So basically the stuff is caffeinated bum wine?

    What’s the word? Loko!

    … Needs work.

  14. Bill Says:

    Diomed, fair description. Bum wine in a can with added flavors.

    And the kids in Washington didn’t seem to care about the taste!!

    Could be easily duplicated with Vodka, lime, and NoDoz!

    The trick is keeping the alcohol content about level with the caffeine content, so they can keep drinking without passing out!

  15. ATLien Says:

    constitutional authority to do this is where?

    Hang them on the Mall.

  16. stencil Says:

    Irish Coffee… coffee with Courvoisier… coffee with Drambuie… boiled black tea with Stroh rum…
    .
    What a clueless pack of prohibitionist bigots.
    .

  17. Chas Says:

    Maybe the government should be putting its focus on this miserable economy instead of on beverages. We obviously didn’t vote enough of them out.

  18. comatus Says:

    ATLien, it must be the “domestic tranquility” thing.
    Caffeine inhibits tranquility. Oxycontin, now, that’s gotta be way down in Art III somewhere.

  19. Mr Evilwrench Says:

    Heh you can buy caffeine powder by the Kg on ebay, dump some in your rose or whatever, zounds!

  20. Will Says:

    I work for a beverage distributor, we sell Four Loko. I had meetings with the Phusion Projects (Four Loko) today and yesterday. The word was that Anheuser-Busch was lobbying heavily for alcoholic energy drinks to be banned, as it was cutting into their business (And how! We sold more Four Loko this year than Heineken or Corona, and two years ago no one had heard of the stuff.). Yesterday, the rep was saying they were going to fight the FDA to the end, and today (after Phusion caved) he was trying to convince me that we don’t need to adjust our sales projections, people don’t buy it for the caffeine, they buy it for the taste. It was hard to keep a straight face.

    Comedian,
    You’re right, the stuff tastes terrible. I don’t see how anyone can drink 24oz of the stuff, and that’s the only package available. They’re coming out with a 12oz glass bottle soon, which I think would have done well if they kept the caffeine. As is, I’m just hoping it doesn’t die completely. Why pay $2.49 at best when you can get Colt HG (12% alc, no caffeine, better taste) for $1.99?

    Joose (similar to Loko) wants to fight it out but they’re too small to hire many lawyers.

  21. Standard Mischief Says:

    >Unc, please! The polite term is Saltine-American.

    Only we can call ourselves “cracka”. Everyone else has to say “Saltine-American” or they’re automatically racist.

  22. SPQR Says:

    There is no scientific research to support the FDA claims.

    So much for the false claim that the GOP was anti-science…

  23. Sebastian The Blogless Says:

    Like everyone else, they’re not anti-science. They’re anti-science they don’t like.

  24. HardCorps Says:

    Us young bloods prefer Vodka-Red Bulls. Insane for them to ban it, and news flash, kids get drunk at college?

  25. ATLien Says:

    Will, you should encourage Phusion and Joose NOT to fight it with lawyers, but to fight it with ultraviolence!

  26. dave Says:

    “But apparently people want it banned because, uhm, people who drink alcohol have been known to do dumb things. That is one shocking revelation, right there.”

    I’m curious to see what the government would do once everything was banned and they realize that some people will still just do stupid shit for no good reason. Ban stupid people?

  27. dustydog Says:

    The ban is only legal because the caffeine is a food additive, as they made it. The Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act as amended allows FDA to regulated food additives and adulterated food. NOT wholesome food.

    If a vendor combines two foods – say whiskey and coffee (and both are food grade material, not filthy), there is no federal oversight. Vodka and cola mixed in a can would be regulated (because cola is made by adding materials not legally considered food to water). Vodka and orange juice would not be regulated.

  28. dustydog Says:

    SPQR of post 22,
    Respectfully – you’re a liar. A summary of the FDA’s data is on their website, and the full report is available from thier FOIA office.

  29. Jerry Says:

    “Vodka and orange juice would not be regulated.” Thank you, Jesus.

  30. Standard Mischief Says:

    dustydog,

    The FDA had held caffeine as a “generally recognized as safe” food additive since before I was born. I’ve reviewed the evidence that the FDA placed on their website, and aside from a few anecdotal trips to the hospital, there’s no note of any peer reviewed studies that show the two together are a deadly combination.

    This is what is called a “moral panic“. Too many people switched from Bud Light to Four Loco, and Budweiser is flexing their lobbyist team.

    I think perhaps if Four Loko came out with a cola flavored malt beverage, the FDA would have even less of a leg to stand on:

    http://edocket.access.gpo.gov/cfr_2003/aprqtr/21cfr182.1180.htm

    Th

  31. SPQR Says:

    dustydog, unrespectfully, nope, you and the FDA are full of crap. There is no scientific evidence in that load of tripe from the FDA. The rank and file in the FDA are aghast at the politicalization of the FDA during the current administration.

  32. M Gallo Says:

    Just for dustydog, I’ll switch from Jack and Coke to Sailor Jerry’s and 7UP right now…

    K back. Cheers, dumbfuck.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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