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Welcome to Tennessee

Radley Balko at some point moved to our state. He looks at the blue laws. Wait until you want a bottle on Sunday, when you should be in church. And, in the event you want to go to the porn store on Sunday, same thing.

Also, he will discover that he can’t get mixers at the liquor store. Liquor stores can only sell things with alcohol in them.

34 Responses to “Welcome to Tennessee”

  1. LC Scotty Says:

    Porn store? Isn’t that what the internet is for?

  2. Shootin' Buddy Says:

    Ummm, why would a Libertarian move down there?

    Is he like spreading the Word to the heathen Banjos or what?

    No booze, no sex, no dope, is he there for the buck dancing?

  3. SayUncle Says:

    No dope? LOL. Hint: TN’s number one cash crop is not legal for sale.

  4. Boondoggie Says:

    Compared to NC, TN is a bastion of freedom. We have to buy our liquor from the state, the only entity in existence that can lose money selling booze.

  5. Jake Says:

    Can you hunt on Sundays, or has the legislature decided that would cut down on church attendance too much?

    The last time that gem came up here in VA, my mother absolutely shocked me when she commented that “they shouldn’t make it legal, because people will go hunting instead of going to church.” It took me a second to recover, but I convinced her she was wrong with one sentence:

    “Number one, it’s not the state’s place to make that decision or that distinction; and two, if someone’s going hunting instead of to church, the problem is not with the law.”

  6. Laughingdog Says:

    If the government can lose money running a brothel, it’s not surprising that they can do the same with liquor stores.

  7. Laughingdog Says:

    Why do church and hunting have to be mutually exclusive? It’s not like the deer move around much that late in the morning anyway.

  8. Jake Says:

    Why do church and hunting have to be mutually exclusive? It’s not like the deer move around much that late in the morning anyway.

    Well, I didn’t say it actually made sense. That seems to be the general sentiment, though. And there are apparently people who stay out until a little before lunchtime, hoping to get lucky.

  9. Ed Rasimus Says:

    I remember being in a ski-lift line in Switzerland when I commented that I had more freedom living under a fascist dictator (Franco) in Spain than I did the previous year in Alabama where they had blue laws, state-run liquor stores, no sales of Playboy/Penthouse/Hustler, and they even censored the promo ads for the new fall season comedy show, “Soap” which were viewed as too controversial. Nearby American woman gave me the “love it or leave it speech”. I had to mention that I was in Europe on military service and was a fighter driver with two combat tours, so I thought my affection was adequately demonstrated.

  10. MJM Says:

    And in Tennessee, every politician running for office is a “strong supporter of second amendment.” (Written with some degree of sarcasm)

  11. Dan Says:

    I gladly put up with that in exchange for not driving 150 miles to Pennsylvania to buy fireworks to illegally use them in New York or beg a police officer on why I should be allowed to own a handgun.

  12. Mikee Says:

    Back in the 80’s when Texas had some pretty severe blue laws, including something along the lines of “no non-food items sold before noon on Sunday” I witnessed the following early one Sunday morning at a grocery store:

    A young mother with a screaming infant walked up to the checkout with a bag of Pampers. The clerk told her she could not buy them until noon. The mother asked if food items were ok to buy. The clerk said yes. The mother then told the clerk to take the money for the Pampers right then, because if he didn’t, she was going to demonstrate that they were indeed food items by forcing the entire bag down his throat. The clerk took the money, the mom walked out with the Pampers.

    It took a few years for the Texas legislature to remove such obstacles to normal life, but I knew when I saw that angry mom that the Texas Blue Laws were not going to last.

    Good luck with that in Tennessee.

  13. Tam Says:

    Shootin’ Buddy,

    Ummm, why would a Libertarian move down there?

    Cold beer in grocery stores on Sunday, short-barreled shotguns, switchblades, and other things you can’t get in Nanny States like IN.

  14. Tam Says:

    Shootin’ Buddy,

    Oh, and the “Heathen Banjos” can buy a car on Sundays, while freedom-lovin’ Hoosiers will apparently burn in hell if their government allows car dealers to be open on the sabbath.

  15. Dan Says:

    Tam, did not know switch blades were legal in tn.

  16. nk Says:

    I think you have to make them (switchblades) there because they’re still illegal across state lines except for the military and police. ???

    As for liquor, come to where I live. You can buy it 7:00 a.m through 12:00 midnight every day including Sunday. Have no clue about porn. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  17. Rivrdog Says:

    Two words: Southern.Baptist.

  18. nk Says:

    Irish Catholic and Bohemian (the place not the lifestyle) where I am. Maybe that’s the difference. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  19. Jerry Says:

    I is one, (Two words: Southern.Baptist.). ONE OF THEM. I was born into my religion. I got it from my parents.They wuz one of them, too. I can’t tell, from what you write, as to what your religious affiliation is, but I can say this, I don’t care. Neither, would said parents. Can’t really give a rat’s ass, pardon my french. The Lord that you pray to, is YOUR lord, I pray to mine. I am happy to be alive, and live in the great state of Tennessee. I hope you are just as happy as I am.

  20. Shootin' Buddy Says:

    “Cold beer in grocery stores on Sunday,”

    Pffft, just the water-downed hog swill. One would think that as the reason for being a Libertarian is substance abuse that one would make that a priority.

    I’ll keep my real beer on Sunday, untaxed ammo and no religious test for public office.

    You have to admit that given the restrictive laws and culture of Tennessee it seems an odd selection for a Libertarian.

  21. Tam Says:

    I know this libertarian is starting to miss it more by the minute.

  22. nk Says:

    I want to go there (Tennessee), too.

    I am foresighted enough to stock up on booze, and I would like a place where my daughter and I can shoot a suppressed .22 together.

    Is there really a suppressor for a Walther PPK like in the movie “From Russia With Love”?

  23. Ron W Says:

    “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient; all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any…” –I
    Corinthians 6:12

    …where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is liberty.
    –II Corinthians 3:17

    Stand fast therefore in the liberty withwhich Christ has made us free, and be not entangled again in the yoke of bondage. –Galatians 5:1

    Being a lifelong Tennessean, I am not too bothered by laws that only restrict access to purchasing some things (alcohol) on Sunday, though I don’t agree with them from both a Biblical and Constitutional basis. (Christian tradition is often the opposite of the freeedom we find from an objective reading of Scripture)

    “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under
    omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” — C.S. Lewis, Christian author and Professor at Cambridge

    I worry more about legalisms that restrict or deny our enumerated rights in our Federal AND STATE Constitutions—and the agents thereof who are provided guns to enforce them on us.

    At least in Tennessee, we are much more able to exercise the most basic freedom against tyranny, that of armed self-defense–which is more than we can say for some of the so-called “liberal” States.

  24. Scott Says:

    While it’s an *awful* lot of fun watching some of y’all sneer at him, his Libertarianism and the South in general, there’s a pretty simple explanation for his choice.

    He broke the stories on Mississippi’s medical examiner “Dr.” Stephen Hayne, and Corey Maye. Both are still ongoing. There’s a lot of grist to mill and he wanted to be closer to them. My guess is that he’s got a book or two in him from these stories.

  25. nk Says:

    Who’s sneering at Radley? All I’ve seen is a little gentle teasing of silly blue laws. Did you know that the Jack Daniels distillery is in a dry county, BTW? The quality control people there are likely subject to prosecution every minute of the day.

  26. Linoge Says:

    For the pain in the ass that one has to go through to prepare a party, and the inability to bring alcohol into the state (and avoid some ludicrous taxes), Tennessee has a whole crapload of good going for it, and spanks the everloving hell out of Kalifornistan.

    Still, it would be nice to pick up a bottle of wine while doing the groceries…

  27. kishnevi Says:

    His official reasons were 1)I can do my work anywhere and 2)there’s good music here .

    Plus of course he left that well known bastion of liberty, the District of Columbia.

  28. chris Says:

    Why would anyone move here?

    Mountains, lakes, rivers and no income taxes for starters.

    As an aside, a switchblade is legal if it’s a “cureo”, which to me means that I can keep one on the table in my living room, but I can’t carry it.

    All of which is too bad, of course, because I can carry a Glock with 6 extra mags, but not a switchblade.

  29. bwm Says:

    Here in Nebraska you can buy any type of alcohol at a grocery store or even a gas station any time of day, any day of the week. I was pretty stunned by that when I moved here.

    Needless to say the entire population is now unable to control their alcohol consumption and walks around in a drunken stupor 24/7.

  30. Ron W Says:


    Yes, that applies to all THINGS. Those who support the same here re: the availability of alcohol, as I do, Totally reverse themselves about some of us choosing to exercise our U.S. and State Constitutional RIGHT to carry the means of self-defense anytime and everywhere. They’ve predicted and continue to predict, “wildwest shootouts” and “blood in the streets” by legally armed citizens…..which has NEVER happened.

    Do they think the same aboout THINGS in Nebraska??

  31. bwm Says:

    Do they think the same aboout THINGS in Nebraska??

    Nebraska is the bluest red state I’ve ever seen. People here seem to believe in very limited gov’t, as long as that limited gov’t continues to provide corn subsidies, if you can draw any inferences from that.

  32. Ron W Says:

    If Nebraska tends toward being a “blue” state, then they would probably tend toward being liberal on some THINGS like the availabilty and consumption of alcohol and not liberal on allowing the right of the people to keep AND BEAR (carry) arms for self-defense. That’s the way the so-called liberals are here.

    I say “so-called” since the word is derived from liberty and it seems to me, that if you’re a true liberal, then you’d be for ALL of our Constitutionally protected liberties ALL of the time. That would also mean being conservative the Constitution and Bill of Rights according to the objecitve meaning of the wording.

    Conservatives are also inconsistent in the same way. It depends about which THINGS of the status quo they want to conserve, rather than the wording of the Constitution and Bill of Rights to restrict the government and declare the rights of the people.

  33. JKB Says:

    Tennessee is positively libertarian these days. I remember back when I was a kid, my grandmother having to call around to see which drug store was open on that particular Sunday. Then, it started, businesses opening at noon, beer sales starting at noon. I remember when liquor stores had to close at 9 pm even during the days they could be open, now it’s 11.

    Still even though I live in a county with one of the largest cities, I have to drive 20 miles to the city limits to buy wine or liquor. County is dry except for beer sales. And so are the 3 other counties within 20 miles.

  34. Kim du Toit Says:

    LOL. In the Kingdom of King Richard II (a.k.a. Chicago), you can buy Scotch or any other liquor at the supermarket, anytime except between the hours of 6am – 12pm Sundays.

    On the other hand, there is the handgun situation…

    My comment on the whole thing as that as a general rule, when you leave the North and head south, the liquor laws become more stupid and the gun laws more commonsense. Until you reach the Mexican border, of course.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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