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No vermouth needed

So, Greg tells you how he makes a martini. LawDog does the same.

Robb offers his $0.02. Heh.

To say I like my martinis dry is an understatement. My recipe is simple. And my friends will attest that this is the recipe I follow:

Put three olives (good ones, not cheap ones – all preference really) on a toothpick. Stick said toothpick into a cocktail glass.

In a cocktail mixer, add ice and vodka of choice (I go with Grey Goose). I use vodka because gin tastes like ass err Pine-Sol. Look at mixer and say the word vermouth. Shake. Pour into glass over olives.

There you go.

40 Responses to “No vermouth needed”

  1. Breda Says:

    yeah – vodka for me too. & Extra olives to make it a meal

  2. BobG Says:

    Never did care much for mixed drinks; just vodka or tequila with a beer chaser.

  3. Boyd Says:

    As Greg said, that’s not a martini. It’s a vodka martini (the only cocktail I’d allow to have the word “martini” in its name, out of deference to James Bond).

    I’ve narrowly escaped getting thrown in the slammer several times after a bartender asked me, “Vodka or gin?” or “What kind of vodka would you like in that?” My tender has to peel my fingers from the bartender’s throat, toss a lot of money while apologizing profusely and hustle me out the door.

    If it ain’t gin, it ain’t a martini. Not that I have a strong opinion on the subject.

  4. Weer'd Beard Says:

    I tossed my thoughts on the issue up on my place.

    Oh and Boyd I 100% agree. Also a bartender pisses me off to no avail when he (or she) shakes the shit out of the mix and serves it with big icebergs floating on the top. That just looks BAD, and waters down the mix.

    Also on the “Vodka” thing, I’ve seen a TON of bartenders attempt to make me a Vodka Collins when I ordered a Tom Collins. LAME!

  5. Chris Says:

    You pour six jiggers of gin, and you drink it while staring at a picture of Lorenzo Schwartz, the inventor of vermouth

    – Hawkeye Pierce

    Sounds reasonably close to your original recipe, negating the switch to vodka.

    I’ll stick with tequila, thanks. If I want something that tastes like gasoline, I know where to find it.

  6. Les Jones Says:

    Did you know there’s a non-alcoholic version of the gin and vermouth martini? It’s true! Just pour some turpentine in a glass and add a shot of hairspray. Most people can’t taste the difference.

  7. Gregory Morris Says:

    You gin-haters are nothing but philistines and cretins! (heheh… and I mean that in the most endearing way possible.)

    I still maintain that a MARTINI can only be made with Gin. If you want a vodka on the rocks, order a vodka on the rocks. If you want a vodka martini, you are allowed to call it such, as long as you say “vodka” first. If you use the term “martini” for anything else, that is a capital party-foul, in my book. If a bartender gave me some watered-down vodka when I ordered a martini, I’d brain him! My disdain for violence is why I usually don’t order martinis at restaurants. If I do order one, I am very specific… the bartender gets step-by-step instructions, including the correct way to spear the olives.

  8. Zendo Deb Says:

    You take the vermouth out of the fridge, and show it to the GIN (Bombay Sapphire – at the very least.)

    Though the atomizers do a nice job of misting the glass.

  9. DirtCrashr Says:

    I’m with Robb and Les on the Gin-factor — except for in a Tonic, Quinine tames the savage, juniper-turpentine beast.
    I guess I tend towards Colonial Empire drinks. I have eleven different rums, a bottle of Hacienda del Cristero, a half-opened bottle of Ketel One, and an unopened bottle of Tanqueray…

  10. Gregory Morris Says:

    DirtCrashr: How do you half-open a bottle? Hehe. I agree about the tonic though… for non-gin-drinkers, like my wife, the spirit can still be enjoyed if it is watered down properly.

  11. Zendo Deb Says:

    Well, Gin and Tonic isn’t a drink. It is a cure. The tonic water is for staving off malaria. (I can attest that it works. I have been drinking them for years, and have never had malaria.)

    So you can drink G&T’s guilt free…. strictly for medicinal purposes.

  12. Scott Says:

    I’ll take my Vodka Martini without vermouth or olives, thank you. As for a chaser? Forgo the chaser for a better brand of Vodka…

  13. SayUncle Says:

    I’m more a bourbon/scotch/dark whiskey guy anyway. I don’t know the last time I had a martini err vodka bradford sans vermouth.

  14. Zendo Deb Says:

    When people say the don’t like (gin, scotch, whatever), the first thing I ask is what kind they have tried. It is always “bottom shelf.”

    If you only ever tried “Red, White, and Blue” you wouldn’t like beer.

    If you only ever tried Ripple, you probably wouldn’t care for wine.

    If you only ever try rot-gut, you won’t like any whiskey or liquor.

    Gin should be Bombay Sapphire at least. Scotch should be single malt. Bourbon should be Makers Mark. Now, you may still not like it, but at least give “it” a real chance. Of course if you are going to mix it with cranberry juice or coke or orange juice or whatever, bottom shelf is probably OK for whatever your particular poison happens to be.

  15. Robb Allen Says:

    Zendo, Uncle tried to swindle me into drinking the good Kentucky Bourbon at the NRA conference. I’ll admit I enjoyed it in lemonade, and that was about it.

    Gin – Greg’s convinced me to try again with a better brand of gin. He’ll have to go with me just in case. I don’t want to waste booze. However, I detest olives so it’ll be Law Dog style. Please, join us!

  16. Gregory Morris Says:

    Scott: that’s called a “vodka on the rocks”, not a vodka martini.

    Unc: single malt scotch (is there any other kind?) is my ‘normal’ libation of choice. I’m happy with just about any _real_ scotch (from scottland, aged at least 12 years, single malt.) I guess that could be a whole new thread.

    Right on, Zendo! If you are doing tequila shooters to get drunk, by all means, drink Cuervo… It is cheaper. But if you want to taste what you are drinking, there is no substitute for Don Julio. If you hate tequila, but like other liquor, then you’ve never had good tequila. The same holds for just about any spirit.

  17. SayUncle Says:

    Well, I didn’t say it tasted bad. Just that it tasted like ass err Pine-Sol. I’m sure there’s some high quality ass err Pine-Sol out there too!

  18. Gregory Morris Says:

    Oh, and for Robb, a good G&T also helps with sea-sickness… heh.

  19. SayUncle Says:

    And I do despise tequila, except in the occasional margarita. And even then, I only have one before I remember I can still taste the tequila.

    My choice of drink is 90% of the time bourbon. And I vary between:

    Makers, Hayden, Woodford Reserve, Buffalo Trace, Bulliet, & Eagle Rare. All are good and the last three are available at excellent prices.

  20. Gregory Morris Says:

    You also live in a region which produces whiskey, so I can’t hold that against you. I currently live in a state that produces crap fruit wines and that’s about it. Of course, I grew up in a state that produced the finest moonshine in the Appalachians. Some of the unaged mountain whiskey I’ve had honestly rivals a good kentucky whiskey.

  21. Josh Says:

    Three measures of Gordon’s; one of vodka; half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it over ice, and add a thin slice of lemon peel.

  22. Lyle Says:

    That’s not a cocktail. It’s chilled, diluted Vodka.

  23. Robb Allen Says:

    Since we’re all being pretentious here, does the pinkie get extended fully during sipping or is it not too overly precocious to manhandle the stem?

  24. Alchemyst Says:

    A long time ago when I was much younger one could order either of two drinks; one being bourbon and branch (that’s creek water to the heathens out there) and the other being a highball. Since they’re both the same drink y’all will not be surprised that they’re my favorite.

    Well except for the depths of summer when a tall, cold gin and tonic goes down awful easy.

    SayUncle, since I live fairly close (Monroe County) we’ll have to get together some PM and discuss this, maybe George Dickle and my fondness for .45 Colt revolvers.

  25. SayUncle Says:

    Heh. Definitely. I do like some Dickel.

  26. Rob K Says:

    Hey Unc, did you know that every bottle of Woodford Reserve is about half Old Forrester? The original runs of Woodford Reserve were just the better barrels of Old Forrester. When production got ramped up at the Labrot & Grahm distillery, running full capacity from day they couldn’t meet demand for Woodford Reserve, so they continue to mix it with the better barrels of Old Forrester. If you ever get a chance, try the 10 year-old bonded (100 proof) Heaven Hill. No better bourbon in my book.

    And you’re a philistine for calling chilled diluted vodka in a cocktail glass a Martini. 🙂

  27. chris Says:

    the only thing i can stand to put gin in is a bloody mary… and even then, i gotta use a half bottle of tobasco

  28. Peter Says:

    Tanqueray.
    Bombay.

    Those are proper gins. Gordon’s if you’re out in the sticks and cannot get anything else.

    You wouldn’t call an amber liquid sold in a plastic bottle ‘scotch’, you wouldn’t call a lorcin a proper ‘gun’, nor can you call anything beyond the three brands cited ‘gin’. You can call them ‘fuel for the lawmower’, but not gin.

  29. Tony Says:

    I used to bartend at private functions. Every now and then I would get a person who would ask me to “make me a martini, and I am not one of those freaks who spouts out a bunch of shit to hear themselves talk.”

    That is a direct quote by the way, but I digress. I would be floored by this request. What, a martini drinker, who is like the consumer equivalent of a drunken cheerleader on Prom night? Thus, one evening I came up with this concoction:

    Dial the White Moose Martini

    1 1/2 ounces of Bombay Sapphire
    1 1/2 ounces of Blue Smirnoff
    1 Teaspoon of Dry Vermouth
    Lemon Twist
    Chilled Martini Glass

    **In a tumbler add ice and vermouth. Shake vigorously. Dump ice.
    **Add more ice, Smirnoff and Sapphire. Shake vigorously.
    **Let sit for 1 to 2 minutes to let settle (to the unwashed masses, this eliminates most of the (oh the horrors!) minuscule ice chips)
    **Twist lemon wedge into chilled martini glass
    **Strain the Dial the White Moose Martini into chilled martini glass
    **Serve with the slightly abused lemon twist

    Being able to make a martini to order, or serve your bartender’s martini, is a much appreciated skill. However, in all truth, your worth as a Modern American Bartender is how well you make your Cosmopolitans. Because at the end of the night you don’t want to go home with Hank the Martini Snob, but swanky skirts named Juliana, Susan or Teresa.

  30. ATLien Says:

    Uncle, +1 Bourbon FTW.

    I’ve dropped a big wad of $$ on Pappy Van Winkle Bourbon, and it’s like Jesus in a bottle. So good.

    And i have to say that all gin tastes like Pine-Sol. After an evening of gin and tonics (good gin, too) i smelled and burped pine-tree. Ick.

    But i love just about all liquors. Vodka. Rum. And i am one of my few friends that can still drink tequila, and there’s a lot of good ones around.

  31. Sigivald Says:

    “Vodka on the rocks with olives” is not a martini, even if it’s in a conical-section glass.

    On gin, try Hendrick’s.

  32. Stormy Dragon Says:

    Drink I like:

    Silver Bullet – a vodka martini with a shot of single-malt scotch (the vodka and vermouth serve to cut the bitter taste of the scotch)

    I’m also partial to bourbon manhattans, especially with Maker’s Mark

  33. Gregory Morris Says:

    I’d love to try Hendricks sometimes… its supposed to be pretty decent. My staple is Sapphire, of course.

    Stormy: That’s called a smokey martini if my memory serves me right. Waste of Scotch.

  34. Justthisguy Says:

    Three parts gin, one part vermouth. Any less vermouth than that and yer all a bunch of straight-alky drunkards.

    And I know about that.

    Seriously, the vermouth is thought by some to have good biochemical effects, ameliorating the damage done by that shockingly big dose of gin.

    Am off to the Wal-Mart to buy some Bud Light. Sorry, guys, but it is reputedly about 3.4 % and I must think of my kidneys, ‘specially considering my blood pressure which is too high for me to want to measure because if I saw the numbers then I might have a stroke, etc

  35. jed Says:

    It’s difficult for me to imagine enjoying a drink that reminds me of pruning juniper bushes. My one experience with Gin, from long ago, is still memorable for it’s excess, and not to be confused with enjoying a top-notch martini. Mostly, when I drink vodka, it’s either neat, with 1 or 2 cubes, or in a very large vodka tonic with lime.

    I will mention, for you gin drinkers, a recent post from a friend who enjoys his gin. If he recommends a brand, I figure it’s worth checking out — that is if you like gin.

  36. shortbus Says:

    I’m not a big fan of martini’s, but given the chance you should try Tito’s. It’s mighty fine.

  37. Bruce Says:

    No gin for me, thanks.

    Single malt scotch, neat, with anywhere from 2 to 4 drops of water to loosen it up a bit.

  38. zombyboy Says:

    I love vodka (at least, I love good vodka), and vodka is my fallback position for most drinking. But summer cries for a good gin and tonic or, if the gin is good enough, with a couple cubes of ice.

    You can be damned sure that when I’m in India later this year, all of my boozing will be gin-related, too.

    Good Lord, I want me some gin now…

    (Thanks, Jed.)

  39. DirtCrashr Says:

    Half-bottle: opened, partly used, closed-up and put away. We just don’t do much with vodka.
    I thought Tanqueray was supposed to be good? Man, we gave away a gift-bottle of Sapphire to friends who needed it more…
    Tequila that isn’t 100%Agave isn’t even Tequila – Cuervo Gold is to Tequila as PineSol is to Gin.
    Scotch ga’es me haertbaurn.
    Gin&Tonics on the veranda swatting mosquitos, calling for the Chowkidar to bring the Martini-Henry and taking pot-shots at the Dhobi down by the river…

  40. Parx Says:

    Dittos to justthisguy. If you don’t care for the juniper flavors of gin, try it with the appropriate amount of vermouth. That’s why the vermouth is there. To adjust the flavor.

    I order my martinis WET, though I like the gin/rocks/lime sometimes. I don’t need a fancy glass to drink cold liquor.

    Best,
    Mr. Parx