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Blame game

I like reading Aunt B. I wrote about why I do, even though we’re political opposites. But I take issue with this:

Who Does Kay Brooks Hate More–Men or Women?

Kay wrote a post about a rape that occurred and said that maybe the woman shouldn’t have been out walking late alone. Kay was very explicit to note that she was not saying she deserved it. And I don’t think from reading Kay that she was stating the woman was responsible either (though she did say she was not without some responsibility) . Now, here’s where I part ways with the, err, feminist persuasion. Kay essentially notes that maybe if this young lady had done something differently, this may not have happened. Aunt B. seems to think that would constitute blaming the victim. I don’t think that is the case.

More importantly, stating that Kay hates men or women is a bit of the feminist over the top rhetoric that turns me off.

Let’s change the situation and say I decided to drive my McLaren to a bad part of town. And somebody carjacks me. Now, did I deserve it? No. Am I responsible for what happened? No. Did I maybe have a bit of a lapse in judgment by going there? Could be. Should I have expected people not to take it? Well, sure. But that’s not the best expectation to have of other people. Because some other people are pieces of shit. Not everyone is. Certainly not all men. Nor all women. But some people are.

But when it’s rape, the aforementioned analysis becomes taboo to suggest and outright not politically correct to discuss. And that’s a shame, if not outright dangerous.

As Nomen said over there: blaming victims for being victimized is wrong, pretty much always; blaming women for being raped is wrong, always. but pointing out that the unfortunate, sympathy-worthy victim may have committed a tactical error does not equate to blaming her, no matter how monotonously the correct-tactics drum may be beaten in society at large.

Update: In comments, Brittney informs me I can’t read:

No, that doesn’t mean she deserves what happened but she is not without responsibility in this.

Ok, that’s pretty bad.

9 Responses to “Blame game”

  1. brittney Says:

    You said: “And I don’t think from reading Kay that she was stating the woman was responsible either.”

    Kay Brooks said: “No, that doesn’t mean she deserves what happened but she is not without responsibility in this.”

    So, how do you figure?

    BTW, your comrade disagrees with you.

  2. SayUncle Says:

    Ok, that’s pretty bad.

  3. brittney Says:

    Which part? Brooks’ assertion that the victim is responsible, or that your comrade disagrees with you? 😉

  4. SayUncle Says:

    Err, which do you think? Me and nine don’t agree quite a bit.

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  6. Aunt B. Says:

    I’ll admit, I don’t actually think that Kay Brooks hates anyone, men or women. But dang, I read that post and I was just bowled over. And I have this bad habit of trying to provoke in people as much outrage as I feel.

    But listen, I hear what you’re saying. There’s lots that women can do to tip the odds in our favor to keep from being raped, but it’s just that, a tipping of the odds. If your odds playing failed to work, it’s not your fault. You, as a gambler, know this. You can only do so much with the hand you’re dealt and blaming the player for the cards the dealer hands him makes just about as much sense.

  7. SayUncle Says:

    B., that’s an excellent way to put it.

  8. #9 Says:

    Comrade in arms maybe, but not comrade like metulj likes to say.

    I reread Kay’s piece and it still seems as if she is blaming the victim. That’s my interpretation.

    But I like this part even less:

    However, why should we be expected to hand over more of our finite resources to pay for increased patrols to enable anyone to ignore basic safety rules?

    Why do we pay taxes? For services like police protection. So is Kay saying that late at night the police station should be closed? I don’t buy it. I expect police service 24/7. That is what we are paying for isn’t it?

    I think the “we close at night” idea disturbed me as much as the “the victim is not without responsibility” which I think translates into the victim is responsible.

    Of course the solution will be cameras so the police can watch it happen on television.

    If the cops won’t be there then why not lock up the park at night?

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