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I’m the root of all that’s evil but you can call me Cookie

Seen at Dr. Helen’s:

Have you ever met a person who left you wondering, “How could someone be so twisted, so evil?”

The Doc notes that the book she’s discussing suggests that some people are just born evil. And, from my personal experience, that is true. Let me catch you up.

See, I’m a finance guy. I wasn’t always. I had a career before that. In that career, I was (and you’re going to laugh your asses off) a counselor. Yeah, me. The guy who calls people retarded, idiots, and invented the term PSH. More specifically, I counseled a whole special subclass of bastards: sexual offenders. They were a pleasant crowd. I had an epiphany one day when talking to a young lad and the conversation went something like this:

Miscreant: [describes his overwhelming desire to do very bad things to innocent children]

Me: And that urge for you is natural?

Miscreant: Yes.

Me: You know, most people don’t have that particular urge

Miscreant: I think they do.

Me: Really?

Miscreant: Yes. It seems normal to me.

Me: Excuse me a minute.

At that point, I’d had my epiphany. And I realized that the conversation would have ended badly. Because I had a thought at that moment and it was this: the world would be a better place if this guy wasn’t in it. That’s something that I realized could not be cured. I mean, no amount of duct tape would fix this guy. Well, unless the duct tape was used to restrain him prior to tossing him in a river.

Even if you convince this guy that doing very bad things isn’t acceptable, he will still have the overwhelming urge to do it and, honestly, it’s probably only a matter of time.

Needless to say, I soon got out of counseling. Wishing your clients dead isn’t healthy for you or you clients.

During my time there, I learned a few fun things about sexual predators:

  • They have a very high recidivism rate (approaching 80%).
  • Sexual predators are either 1) very smart or 2) dumber than a sack of rocks. None of these guys was average. Either way above or way below.
  • By the time they’re caught, they usually already have a pretty high victim count.
  • Most were victims themselves
  • Tended to practice their crimes on animals
  • And there’s more. In short, they were fucked up. Bad. And no amount of talking to them was going to cure them. And, honestly, talking to them disgusted me.

    21 Responses to “I’m the root of all that’s evil but you can call me Cookie

    1. Ahab Says:

      The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

    2. sburch79 Says:

      If I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don’t shine

    3. # 9 Says:

      From your writing I can see you as a counselor. You have a high degree of patience. I think you are lucky to have realized early on the luggage that job can put on someone. God bless the people that are counselors. I can think of no more difficult profession.

    4. KCSteve Says:

      As is often the case I both agree and disagree with you.

      I think counseling is very usefull in these cases. Only through extensive counseling can you really determine whether or not someone is one of these ‘not quite humans’.

      Once you determine that they are – and thus incapable of being ‘cured’ of something that is perfectly normal for them – they should be be put down quickly, quietly, and humanely.

    5. In Which I Confess Why I’m Ambivalent About the Death Penalty « Tiny Cat Pants Says:

      […] if the Death Penalty were on the table for folks like this?  I’d have no qualms about […]

    6. JQ Says:

      You mentioned that most of the sexual predators you dealt with had been victims themselves. Obviously that isn’t something you’re born with, but equally I assume not all victims become offenders.

      So in your professional opinion, would it be that somebody born with a certain amount of latent evil will tend to have it focused in that particular direction by being abused? Or a little more complex than that?

    7. SayUncle Says:

      I’m not a professional. But it is far more complex. I think that, on the whole, environment plays a more important role but also perhaps there is a genetic predisposition to fulfilling desires that may override some moral guidance. You can turn someone who is ‘normal’ into a raving lunatic through abuse & manipulation.

    8. JQ Says:

      Fair enough. Just “born that way” as the book title suggested with “Evil Genes” seemed a little simplistic to me, especially as it conflicted with your experience regarding abused/abuser, so the way you put it makes more sense.

    9. SayUncle Says:

      I think the evil genes theory may be simplistic but not invalid given some cases. Seen a few instances of a seemingly normal kid from suburbia with every thing and no history of abuse turns out to have been a serial molester. For years.

    10. Kat Coble Says:

      Heh. My husband left counseling for business after a very similar experience. It involved a 9 year old raping a 5 year old in the mental hospital where he worked. As much as TPS reports suck, they don’t involve the distilled essence of disgusting fuckeduppery you see in counseling.

    11. straightarrow Says:

      Nothing cures evil like cranial penetrative impact surgery

    12. mike hollihan Says:

      I worked in an alcohol & drug treatment center for nearly ten years. The most stomach churning moment was a guy who was talking with some of his peers late one evening about having sex with his early-teen daughters. He was their father; it was his right to have sex with them, he calmly said. He just didn’t understand there was anything wrong with that.

      I once sat across a table from a full-on psychopathic man who was on medication to stabilise him. The way he looked at me as we talked, which was a very normal conversation about things, was exactly how lions and tigers look at prey. The hair on the back of my neck was up the whole time. Intensely spooky, and I can still see his face today.

      Saddest case, on the other hand, was a gentleman whose family dumped him on us. He was “wet brain,” that is brain damaged from heavy drinking. He was a very calm, pleasant, happy fellow but if left to himself he just sat there until his body told him to do something. Otherwise, we’d have to direct him to the kitchen to eat, to get his workbooks (which he couldn’t read any more), to get ready for bed or get dressed. He used to get up in the middle of the night to go pee, then forget which room he came from. He’d either go out an emergency exit or climb into someone else’s bed!

      When we finally realised he was beyond our ability to help or care for, we called his family. They told us that he was our problem now, and they weren’t coming for him. Literally, “He’s your problem now.” We tried to find his girlfriend but we couldn’t learn her name from him; when we finally located her, she didn’t want anything to do with him either. We eventually got him into a psychiatric hospital. He was a very nice guy, but an empty shell of a man in the truest sense.

    13. Jay Says:

      As much as TPS reports suck, they don’t involve the distilled essence of disgusting fuckeduppery you see in counseling.

      Kat that was beautiful. LOL

    14. DADvocate Says:

      Me: You know, most people don’t have that particular urge
      Miscreant: I think they do.

      I worked in mental health/social services for 10 years. I found this attitude common amongst the criminally inclined, that everyone was really like them.

      I have worked with murderers, sexual predators, etc. I consider some to be plain old evil and would have had no trouble shortening their life span if they threatened my family.

      I left the mental health/social service arena because too many of the other workers were nuts.

    15. Exador Says:

      A friend of mine was a cop, who often got assigned to the child abuse cases. He told me how he often had the overwhelming urge to pull his sidearm and blow the brains out of some of those guys, after having to deal with their victims.

    16. OldTexan Says:

      I have a good friend who is a Criminal Defense Attorney and at times he has court appointed cases and he told me about one where he had a child molester. He had a young new attorney appointed as co-counsel and when the new atty. asked how they could defend they guy, my friend explained that they would give the accused the best defense possible and let the court process decide the out come.

      When the case came to trial my friend told me that the accused was a smarmy, creepy defendant who kind of exuded perversion. He said it was remarkable how bad this guy came across to the jury and at the end of the trial the creep demanded that he take the stand in his own defense.

      The attorney told the judge that against all advice the defendant wanted to make a statement. The judge tired to explain the ramifications of the decision to make a statement but the defendant was adamant.

      Well he took the stand and explained why his sexual love of an eight year old girl was a beautiful consensual experience and he had everyone in the courtroom wishing they were some where else. The shock and embarassment of hearing this man confessing and justifying his behavior was repulsive and of course the jury had not trouble with conviction and giving the maximum sentence.

      My attorney friend related to me how many criminals do not understand that their actions are wrong but this pervert took first place so I guess he would fall in your stupid category. I wonder if all sexual predators, the real ones (not the politically incorrect ones), should not be locked up forever.

    17. straightarrow Says:

      Old Texan, that is the problem with all assholes of any stripe. They refuse to believe they aren’t just as good and normal as everybody else, ergo they think “everybody does it, I’m no different”. I don’t care if it is the guy who steals change out of your desk drawer at work or fucks his six year old daughter. They all refuse to admit or realize that they are bad, evil, sick, twisted, or insane.

      How many times have I heard some no-good sonofabitch say “If it wasn’t me, somebody else would have.”? I can’t tell you. Nor would it be wise to tell you my response.

    18. Robert the Biker Says:

      A question:
      Do you believe that a high or even moderately high proportion of these shitbirds were victims of abuse themselves?
      I have always thought that this was a sort of ‘get out of jail card’ in the “poor baby me, I’m a victim too”kind of way.
      Not helped by the fact that there is seldom any evidence of said abuse.
      I think its just another way to jerk our collective chains, but I’m willing to be told otherwise.

    19. br549 Says:

      We have one at work. 17 counts. I recently found out about it, and I am of the belief it is partly why I am lately become pariah myself. He is protected by law. My opinion of and reaction to him, are not. I am unable to behave well around this individual, and wish him great harm. Should we meet in a dark alley, well.

    20. br549 Says:

      Ummm, just kidding about the great harm and dark alley thing. No need for police to knock on my door late at night.

    21. Dave Hardy Says:

      I think you should be required to get a second opinion before putting a .45 into his head. Just want to be sure.

      Yep, in my experience most psychopaths do think that everyone thinks as they do but are either (1) too chicken to do as they do or (2) are chumps and thus natural victims. It’s pretty hard to counsel a person into having a conscience.

    Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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