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National ask day

Via Bitter, we learn National Ask Day (in which busy bodies are encouraged to ask you if you have guns in an effort to shame you into admitting you’re bad parent) is set for June 21. In the event you’re asked by some bed-wetter about the contents of your gun safe, I’ve prepared this handy list of responses to being asked if you have guns in your home:

Do you have a warrant?

Yes. Don’t you have the best tool to defend your family as well?

No, but the kid has, like, fifteen.

None of your damn business

Yes, a couple of super soakers, which I hear are good for getting the sand out of your vagina.

No but I do have a nice big cup of mind your own fucking business.

What did five fingers say to the face?

Why, what do you need?

8 Responses to “National ask day”

  1. Rustmeister Says:

    – Do you want them in alphabetical order, serial number, or just in general?

  2. SB Says:

    Whoa! Read the link!

    ASK day is not about shaming your neighbors; the point is to ensure *your* children are safe.

    However; the correct answer is:

    “There are no guns where our children play.”

  3. tkdkerry Says:

    ASK day is not about shaming your neighbors; the point is to ensure *your* children are safe.

    I don’t buy it. If the hoplophobes didn’t attach a social stigma to gun ownership, they would push teaching your own children instead of being intrusive about what other people own. It’s not really about the children, it’s about using “The Children” as a bludgeon to advance their social agenda.

  4. _Jon Says:

    Dude!
    Let’s turn that around! Let’s straighten out that day!

    Let’s all participate from a *PRO GUN* perspective!
    We could come up with a decision tree and talking points just like the anti-gunner do.

    The question on their website is:
    “Is there a gun where my child plays?”
    The correct phrasing would be:
    “Is there a SAFE gun where my child plays?”

    The questions should be related to safe and responsible gun ownership:

    – “Do you have guns in your home?”
    Y – “Are they properly secured against children?”
    or
    N – “Don’t you think protecting children is important?”

    It could be real coup to swing this! 🙂
    Seriously. The “goal” is to ensure children are safe. They’ve taken an anti-gun tact trying to use shame and guilt, but the reality is that non-secured guns in a house are dangerous. So rather than fall for the “shame and guilt” angle, we can promote the “protected and secured” angle.

    I can’t lead this, but anyone who wants to run with it is welcome to go for it.
    :rubs hands in glee:

  5. Xrlq Says:

    I say we turn the tables and question them. “How about you? Do you have a concealed weapon in your front pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

  6. straightarrow Says:

    How about, “Did you drive your kid over here in a car? Do you know how many children die in cars every year? Do you think you have the right to endanger my child by driving in the area he lives?”

  7. Rich Says:

    Why, does your kid look for valuables in neighborhood houses?

  8. SayUncle Says:

    Rich, beautiful!

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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