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The War on three-dimensional devices designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs

Ok, title was too long because I wasn’t sure if the plural of dildo is spelled dildos or dildoes.

Via Knoxviews, comes this bit by our favorite hack, egalia:

Apparently, lawmakers in this impoverished red state can’t find enough serious problems to address, so they’ve turned their minds to sex, specifically sex toys.

Yes, some idiots are trying to ban dildo(e)s, vibrators, and presumably pocket pussies.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. I concur with egalia that this is ridiculous. Like Tennesseeís war on porn, itís just a bunch of legislators with nothing better to do prying into the lives of people for no reason other than, well frankly I donít know. Do they have something better they could be doing? Kinda stupid and unnecessary.

However, noon has passed so egalia once again draws on the powers of the almighty political hack. Notice her little graphic with the elephant and the reference to Bush? And the title of the post is Lawmakers (R) Seek to Outlaw Dildos. Kinda funny since the bill was put up by Charlotte Burks, who happens to have a D after her name. Now, I know egalia’s aware of that because she mentions it. But I suppose this notion that evil has a name and it must be Republican is so firmly ingrained into her tiny little noggin that it must be the inescapable conclusion that the Democratic party is over-run with Republicans. Can’t let the facts get in the way of some good hackery.

Anyway, hereís hoping this ridiculous mindset where people are mad that someone, somewhere may be enjoying themselves stops. There’s stupidity on both sides of the aisle so call them on it.

Update: According to MS Word, it’s dildos but I imagine the plural form doesn’t come up much in conversation, much less written word. And War on Dildos is catchy.

Update 2: I guess the devices designed to stimulate the, err, stink chute are OK? You know, the gay ones?

22 Responses to “The War on three-dimensional devices designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs”

  1. countertop Says:

    I don’t know if it counts as a “pocket pussy” but i’ve always thought the fleshlight thing was pretty neat. No, I don’t have one, but it struck me as being pretty close to ideal for a guy.

    Though the occaisional left handed toss is as enjoyable as well.

  2. countertop Says:

    Heck, I hope she’s right that mandatory missionary is next on the agenda. It might be just what I need to finally motivate the move to Tennessee. Seriously, the only way the nasty could become more enjoyable, is if I knew I was breaking the law doing it.

  3. Captain Holly Says:

    Wait until they find out what some women do with their electric toothbrushes….

  4. Marc Says:

    I’m so grateful that the legislature has taken care of the important things like eminent domain, state corruption and that abortion called Tenncare so that they could move on to this only slightly less important problem of assisted self-pleasuring.

  5. Tam Says:

    What’re they gonna do? Ban the produce department at Kroger?

  6. Ken Summers Says:

    Are you sure it’s not dildae?

    And pardon my ignorance but WTF is a “pocket pussy”?

  7. SayUncle Says:

    Ken, it’s like an inverted dildo designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of male genital organs.

  8. Cinomed Says:

    Here in Texas they are already banned.
    They are sold under the name of Novelty Item, Cake Decoration, and Hand Massager.

    I love Texas but this is one area which we show we really are a bassakwards state.

    When I was younger I applied at a “Adult Store” and before they would hire me I had to sign a sheet aknowledging I understood I could be arrested for selling obscenities at any time.
    (Basically when the cops felt like it)
    I would be bailed and most likley charges would be dropped, but get this if they get a conviction I would be a registered sex offender!

    To make it even worse, a police have arrested the Adult Toy Party chicks, like a avon or tupperware party, but they sell sex toys, as well as they once arrested and convicted a man for selling an adult comic from the adult section of a comic store to an adult undercover cop.

    Makes me sick to my stomach.

  9. Ken Summers Says:

    Well, okay (I had guessed but I – seriously – had never heard of them). But I’m going to stick with “dildae”.

  10. David the hypenated American Says:

    dildum, or dildi?

    I think that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.

  11. countertop Says:

    ken

    check out http://www.fleshlight.com

  12. Ken Summers Says:

    Twee-dildum, twee-dildi

    Okay, I’ll apologize for that now.

  13. Bill Says:

    http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?query=dildo&action=Search+OMD

    dildo
    A columnar cactaceous plant of the West Indies (Cereus Swartzii).

  14. Ken Summers Says:

    Spoilsport.

  15. Billll Says:

    When dildos are legislated into oblivion, only legislators will be called dildos.

  16. drstrangegun Says:

    Billl, legislators are already called dildos.

  17. SayUncle » Quote of the day Says:

    […] Billll in the comments section here: When dildos are legislated into oblivion, only legislators will be called dildos. […]

  18. Exador Says:

    Here in Georgia, they’re pseudo illegal as well. I think the law states something about how they can’t LOOK like the real thing. You can buy a “neck massager” that looks strangely phallic, but you can’t buy one if it has latex foreskin.
    Every few years, they raid one of the MANY stores that sell all of the above as “novelties”, I guess when they feel to appease the appropriate zealots.

  19. Caryn Says:

    I own the adult store that created this insanity…it all developed from a so called preacher who is obsessed with masturbation sending all those who indulge in it to hell. It is mind boggling that plastic toys that resemble body parts create moral decay.

  20. SayUncle » WECSOG: I was just cleaning it, it went off in my hand. Says:

    […] when you go to the adult novelty store to buy a three-dimensional devices designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human geni…, you have an excuse: Honestly, it’s to clean my […]

  21. SayUncle » Pesky ninjas Says:

    […] So, is plural of ninja ninjas or ninjae? I mean, we settled the plural of dildo a bit […]

  22. SayUncle » Dildon’t Says:

    […] an update to The War on three-dimensional devices designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of…, seems Alabama won’t allow the sale of dildos and the supreme court did not take the case. […]