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Presidential Endorsement

People have started endorsing their candidates. Mr. and Mrs. Bubba are for Clark. William is for Edwards. Brian is too. Who do I endorse? Glad you ask. I endorse Yellow Dog.

Let’s compare Yellow Dog to other Democrats:

Issue Democrats Yellow Dog Winner
Funeral director mystique Look like funeral directors,
except for that Edwards girl
Does not look like a funeral
director
Yellow Dog
Opposable Thumbs Most seem to have at least two Does not have thumbs.  But
makes up for it by having twice the number of legs as Democrats; the
spine helps too
Tie
Mass Transit No discernible position Proposes a high speed rail
system; Opposes being run over.
Yellow Dog
Most likely to pee on your rug Have you seen Kucinich
supporters?
Housebroken but may have
accidents if not monitored
Tie
Cuteness Quite a homely crowd, except for
that Edwards girl.
Downright cute Yellow Dog
Offensive Odors Have you seen Kucinich
supporters?
If Yellow Dog can avoid rolling
in roadside feces or eating dead things, he’s quite bearable.
Yellow Dog
New Tricks Up to same old tricks Capable of new tricks Yellow Dog
Cats Likes cats, in public Has potentially killed a few
cats
Yellow Dog
On the US Postal Service All for it Wants to abolish the USPS or at
least restrict their use of mace
Democrats
BoobieGate Appeal to others by stating the
half time show was out of line
As one who is naked in public
all the time, has no problem with bare breasts.
Yellow Dog
Hair Have you seen Kucinich?  Or
Sharpton?
Shiny yellow coat Yellow Dog
Listening to the people They can’t listen with all that
talking they do
Say sit and Yellow Dog
sits quietly and listens.  Say speak and Yellow Dog speaks
Yellow Dog

With a score of 9 – 2 – 1, Yellow Dog has it.

5 Responses to “Presidential Endorsement”

  1. TrooperJohnSmith Says:

    I still think that Jim Traficant and Zell Miller are the only two Dim-O-crats for whom I could vote. This is coming from a family that was ALL Dim-O-cratic… of the traditional “yeller dog” variety.

  2. buddy don Says:

    ye dun made me laff, sir. that chart is one of the funniest thangs ive read lately. at the moment, the yella dog has my vote, no matter whut they end up a’namin him (john? rover? wesley? spot?). dont matter nun whut ye call him longs he kin beat tuther guy. thang bout yer chart is im beginnin to thank we need one of yer verr own dogs in this hunt: how bout politicully incorreck dog? he seems to have lots of fite in him.

  3. SayUncle Says:

    I talked to PID, he seems uninterested. He’s getting over surgery to remove a cyst.

  4. Yellow Dog '04 Says:

    Thank you for your endorcement, sorry it took me so long to find you. Next time I’m on your side of the hill I’ll stop in and shake your paw. -Yellow Dog

  5. Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© Says:

    Right now, the only Democrat I can support…
    …is a Yellow Dog Democrat. The cat thing could be an issue, though….