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Lowest Common Denominator

I’ve said before that warning labels maybe lead to a little less chlorine in the gene pool than their should be. But a look at cars:

Modern cars are impressive technology. Unfortunately they’ve been harnessed to the least common denominator approach to driving. Traction control, anti lock brakes, automatic transmissions, all wheel drive, SUV design specs for cars that never leave pavement, idiot lights on the dash…these are symptoms of a disease. The disease is the idea that no human is too fucking incompetent, clueless, unreliable, or stupid to pilot a motor vehicle.

Everybody must drive!

I will note that modern automatic transmissions are pretty amazing and, for your average driver, they can outperform manuals. Unless I practiced a lot, I doubt I could outshift my car.

Via Tam.

28 Responses to “Lowest Common Denominator”

  1. John Smith. Says:

    I hate traction control, antilock brakes, and automatics. Modern cars only work within the specs that they were designed for. When you are more skilled than your equipment and try to drive at that level the modern cars try to kill you.

  2. Bubblehead Les Says:

    With my bad knees, I like Automatic Transmissions, and all the power accessories. But even with all the Modern Gismo’s, now that I’ve reached the Age where I SHOULD be driving a Big Buick or Caddy or Lincoln, they ain’t making them.

    I hate TreeHuggers.

  3. Paul B Says:

    Not to sure about the kill part, unless you are in a drift in a front wheel drive car.

    I can take a pile of parts and end up with a car, assume they are close to a car to begin with. What I see is the current crop is really limiting the ability to work on them in the garage. With out a pile of tools you are really limited.

    On the other hand, a 1950’s car was shot at 80k. the old model T’s were old at 20k.

    Whats not to like?

  4. mike w. Says:

    Thankfully I can turn off the traction control in my car.

    Ever been stuck in the snow and tried to get out with the traction control on? Good luck.

  5. junyo Says:

    “The disease is the idea that no human is too fucking incompetent, clueless, unreliable, or stupid to pilot a motor vehicle.”

    Or to put in the time to actually learn how to drive, or to not sue you when they wrap it around a tree.

    OTOH, some AWD is kinda awesome. Looking at you GTR. And I bought my car with an automatic because in stop and go traffic a stick makes me pray for death.

  6. Veeshir Says:

    I hate traction control (luckily I can turn it off) and anti-lock breaks (unluckily I can’t).

    I know how to drive and sometimes you need to skid.

    Until I can sit in the back seat drinking and have my car drive me home, I don’t want it to half-assed control how I drive.

    Automatic v standard? Eh, I prefer a stick shift, but I can understand why people like automatic.

  7. Gunstar1 Says:

    While I love a good stupid person rant I don’t think much on that list was actually created to allow stupid people to use them (with the exception of anti-lock brakes… which failed its intended purpose, because of stupid people).

    It’s fairly simple, without technology none of those things would even be there (with the exception of the off-road SUV). Someone that lives Florida and is used to driving a stick on flat roads would be stressed in GA and TN because of the hills.

    Just like technology made the rotary phone obsolete by introducing the touchtone. Technology automated a once required function.

    Basically the author of the quote is saying that technology should not be used to simplify and automate things even for smart/skilled peeople because it also makes them easier for stupid people to use.

    Where does that end… we shouldn’t have GUI operating systems on computers because stupid people only have to point and click, the world should be limited to command line interfaces only? Maybe you have to prove you can use a command line before being allowed to use a GUI.

  8. Texas Jack 1940 Says:

    All the above is why my newest vehicle is a 1989 pickup. The other two are a 1967 with 1986 power train, and a 1973 with a modified 2002 engine/1985 transmission. All three are 5 speed manual because automatics aren’t good on a road course, only seat two (each) and except for the truck, have excellent acceleration and a scary (for a small car) top end. One of the three will be trackside for every race the Southwest Division of SCCA puts on this coming year. The only thing I can find that’s more fun than shooting holes in something is making a hot lap (or three) on the Texas World Speedway road course.

  9. Caleb Says:

    I like traction control when it’s raining and my car is trying to put 400bhp to the rear wheels.

  10. SayUncle Says:

    I like it too and that I can turn it off. However, with the automatic there’s no real need to turn it off ever.

  11. Ellen Says:

    The day I broke my right wrist is the day I swore to never again buy a stick shift. better behavior at stop signs at the top of tall hills is only a bonus.

  12. Bram Says:

    I hate automatic transmissions. Right now we have one manual and one automatic (because I can’t get a manual in the big car). It’s not that I can shift the manual faster – but I can shift when I want – instead of riding around as a passenger in the driver’s seat.

    On Top Gear, they compared the Ferrari F40 (the ultimate mechanical supercar) to the Porsche 959 (the first technological supercar). I would prefer the Ferrari that does what I tell it – to the computerized Porsche.

  13. Tam Says:

    mike w.,

    Ever been stuck in the snow and tried to get out with the traction control on?

    Stuck in snow is one thing, but just on snow?

    With the deserted Broad Ripple side streets covered in 2 inches of fresh, unmarred powder, I tried an experiment: With the traction control on, I wound the tach to a bit over three grand and sidestepped the clutch (which will get tire smoke on dry pavement.) With Robby the Robot assisting at the helm, the car just squatted down and slithered forward across the intersection.

    It has its place and is a useful tool. Unfortunately, it also allows idiots to drive around in crappy weather when they should stay the hell home so they don’t drive right into me.

  14. Justthisguy Says:

    One of the things I dislike about my F-150 is that it has a mind of its own. It is impossible to do clean double-clutched downshifts with it, because its little brain does not turn off the injectors immediately when I close the throttle.

    I never had this problem with my ’83 Mazda B-2000, which had a carburetor. Heck, I could upshift that thing like a bike! (throttle wide open, pre-load the lever toward the next gear up, and tap the clutch) I also got used to shifting without the use of the clutch, waiting until there was no torque on the driveline.

  15. Justthisguy Says:

    P.s. No, I did not try to speed-shift the Mazda across the gate, just 1-to-2 and 3-to-4.

  16. Lyle Says:

    All wheel drive is not for idiots. It’s so you can drive around without a plow/sander in front of you where ever you go. Subarus are very popular in Alaska for example. AWD also make it possible to accelerate really well in good conditions.

    When idiots get behind the wheel of a 4 x 4 or AWD, they think the laws of physics no longer apply to them, so they end up in the ditch, or upside down in the midian, in disproportionate numbers.

  17. Gerry Says:

    Actually the same point could be made about flying.

  18. mariner Says:

    Damn straight, Gerry.

    All a real man needs is needle, ball and airspeed.

  19. Standard Mischief Says:

    Veeshir Says: Automatic v standard? Eh, I prefer a stick shift, but I can understand why people like automatic.

    You’re all a bunch of posers if you’ve never double-clutched a non-synchromesh gear box 😉

  20. John Farrier Says:

    I learned how to drive on a stick, so I could probably manage it again. But I think of driving as work, not fun. So anything to make it easier is good.

  21. McThag Says:

    You ain’t driven a manual until you’ve driven a WW2 tank. Crash gearboxes and sloppy linkages!

    Autos will stomp manuals in a drag race, faster and more importantly, consistent shifts.

    Where an auto fails is in situations were I want X gear, not X+1 or X-1, just X. Most autos you can force it from upshifting, but rarely do they come with the downshift locked out.

    It’s fun to go out to the road course days with the local Porsche clubs and watch the “I can turn it off because I’m all that” drivers. Nope, they sure aren’t all that.

    What the nannies will do is to let you focus more on your line and less on one wheel is slipping.

  22. Tam Says:

    Believe me, if traction control and ABS inhibited skillful drivers from displaying their abilities and leveled the playing fields, NASCAR would mandate that shit tomorrow.

  23. Veeshir Says:

    I was in DC a couple years ago when they that big snow storm.

    My Mustang does not work in the snow and I couldn’t get my car above 10MPH with traction control on. When it started to spin the tires the traction control kicked in and shut down the accelerator.

    I turned it back off and spun the tires until I got up to around 30 and then was able to drive normally.

    I know how to handle a skid. I like handling skids.

  24. M Gallo Says:

    Manuals are more fun (including the non-syncro in the ’30 Model A I drive from time to time) but automatics are better in every way as far as pure performance goes. That’s why my DD is a manual, and my race car is an auto.

  25. McThag Says:

    Another fun data point here is how the C5R Corvettes were walloping on the Vipers back when the Viper was “pure”.

    The anti-lock and traction control on the Vette was allowed because the street car had them. They were braking later and accelerating sooner and that added up very quickly on road courses.

    Modern systems aren’t intrusive until you’ve screwed up bad. That intrusion also just saved you a visit to the body shop, or worse.

    Just to name drop but I’ve watched Dan Sheilds do back-to-back runs in a C5 Z06 experimenting with the traction settings. He was faster with everything on. He commented that it was interesting that was so.

  26. Justthisguy Says:

    Standard, the closest I came to that was downshifting to 1st, which was un-synchronised, on a borrowed bug-eyed Sprite. I told the owner, and he got all upset. Hey, I did it correctly, with no untoward noises!

  27. Jennifer Says:

    Sure the automatic can shift faster, but it doesn’t know that I’m about to want a lower gear just before I throw the car into the clover leaf. Besides, my left foot would get bored.

  28. Jake Says:

    I prefer a manual, but I find that it’s much, much more pleasant to not have to mess with a clutch pedal when my back is acting up.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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