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Since the zombie shark has been jumped

Seven scientific reasons a zombie outbreak would fail. Number one reason: Rednecks. We’ll keep you safe. You’re welcome.

7 Responses to “Since the zombie shark has been jumped”

  1. SoupOrMan Says:

    What happens if the rednecks are the first ones to be zombified?

  2. HL Says:

    Seriously. Rednecks will take a terrible toll on the ranks of the undead. I think that is why we all look forward to it so much.

    Aliens will be a bitch though.

  3. Huck Says:

    As Tallahasse in Zombieland put it; “Thank god for Rednecks!” 🙂

  4. Bryan S. Says:

    Aliens, robots, and when the 99% decide to actively put their grievances to ground…..

    What?

  5. Long live the south Says:

    Why yer ver much welcome sir! haha we country bos will kill all them dagum zombies!!!

  6. mikee Says:

    Essentially all zombie stories presume the chemical, or curse, or virus that causes zombification will only apply to humans. I can’t see this being the truth.

    What about domestic and feral pigs, which will likely be affected by anything that makes a human into a zombie? There are millions of free-rosming feral pigs in Texas alone! And they’s be munching on zombie flesh in any outbreak. Even rednecks might fail to overcome a rampaging horde of zombie boars.

    What about birds? Hitchcock’s movie Birds was scary enough to me as a child; zombie crows would reallllllly freak me out.

    Cujo was pretty nasty. What about zombie cats and dogs, sleeping together?

    What about zombie bugs? Regular live flies & skeeters are annoying enough, but zombie ones that head for your brains up your nose would really be nasty!

    And zombie bacteria, infected by the zombie virus, would be the unseen and most deadly effect of a zombie outbreak along any realistic scientific principals. Many rednecks don’t know nuthin’ bout them there bacteria. No help at all with anti-bacterial hygiene would any redneck be!

  7. garm Says:

    @Huck:

    That scene was filmed in my town. Always liked that.