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Winning hearts and minds

Marines ban farting in A-stan.

24 Responses to “Winning hearts and minds”

  1. Bubblehead Les Says:

    Let’s make a Deal. We don’t Fart, and they quit supporting the Taliban.

  2. Mike Says:

    You know, this little gem made me wonder how rational, well-informed people can dismiss concerns about the encroachment of Sharia law into the body politic.

    As all of you should know, alcohol and pornography are forbidden during deployment (as codified in the Sharia-infused laws of the nations we currently occupy), and expressions of non-Muslim fervor are muted. We do not touch Korans in the homes of suspected insurgents, and we do not set foot in mosques unless its a photo-op for a VIP or they’re shooting at us from the minaret (you still have to get permission from higher-up for that one). As a man, you don’t talk to women, and you certainly don’t frisk them, because the clerics would riot in a NY second at such a flagrant violation of Sharia law.

    And if you think that’s bad, consider this: What do you do, as a higher-ranking officer, when you find that your Muslim subordinate is trying to convert co-workers and clients on government time, communicating with radical Islamists abroad, and refusing to work with women because it is forbidden in Islam? What was that? You hold him accountable for his behavior? Don’t be foolish — you praise him, give him good ratings, and send him forward to his next duty station. It is incumbent upon the military, as an institution, to conform to HIS standards of behavior and belief — in other words, the institution must (by proxy) become Sharia-compliant. Does the name Hassan ring a bell?

    And, no, nothing has changed in the military — the top brass served up a few scapegoats, but made it clear that those anyone who “sacrifices diversity” will be punished swiftly and severely.

  3. Gerry Says:

    Never gonna happen! Never.

  4. DAD Says:

    Just think of all the time we wasted doing water boarding. Hell just give me a bowl of good pintos and I will have them talking so fast it will take two people to write it all down.

  5. John Smith. Says:

    Marine Corp food always gave me gas something awful.. The shits too.. I damned near lived on immodium knockoffs..

  6. Tam Says:

    “Pull my finger, Toryal!”

  7. Old Soldier Says:

    Will never happen as long as they are feeding them MRE’s.

  8. Tirno Says:

    I’m afraid the biology just isn’t going to work out for this kind of initiative.

    As I’ve had it explained to me, laws trump regulations, which trump policies. This would be one of those things that trump laws, like gravity, and the speed of light, and pi.

  9. Ted N(not the Nuge) Says:

    Put a fork in em, our High Command types’re done. Buncha retards.

  10. Bubblehead Les Says:

    Just hit me! Let’s just make ALL the MRE’s Chili WITH Beans! Then what will P.C. Police do?

    BTW, does this mean that they can’t watch “Blazing Saddles” back at the F.O.B., either?

  11. Beaumont Says:

    Go to the link, & see comment 12. Says it better than I could.

  12. Chas Says:

  13. Chas Says:

  14. Alan Kellogg Says:

    If there was a medication for control freak disorder, the drug companies would own the world.

  15. Dave Says:

    Be worth taking an Article 15 just for bragging rights! Imagine being able to say, “yeah, I ripped one so nasty I got UCMJ for it.” Buy that man a beer on me!

  16. ExUrbanKevin Says:

    Apparently the new motto for the Marines is “Silent, but Deadly.”

  17. Robert Says:

    With leadership like this, I sometimes wonder if the Marines are all they are hyped up to be.

  18. John Smith. Says:

    None of the Marine hype is true.. Parris Island is like an all expenses paid spa. Bootcamp? Why you just sit around all day drinking beer and watching war movies.. How else would learn how to fight? Good ole John Wayne movies help you learn the most… The Drill instructors are all topless fashion models that “tuck” you in every night. The food is gourmet and comes with an enormous winelist… PT is to Jane Fonda and Tae Bo videos.. MCT is just like a working vacation at the office where you sit around eat expensive food and get plastered while listening to boring speeches.. And once you are deployed you are given the finest tools and equipment money can buy to perform your job as well as a chauffeur to drive your personal limo place to place… Don’t forget the private jet that flies you to the war zone and your 5 star hotel.. I can completely understand why the brass would want to control farting in this mans Corp……

  19. Bram Says:

    Hi John – were you my recruiter? You sure sound like him.

    “MCT is for me, ain’t no place I’d rather be!”

    If an MCT platoon farts at Camp Gieger in August, does it get any hotter and stinkier?

  20. Freiheit Says:

    I’m just a civillian here. I’m a bit skeptical, this has got to be a joke or a bad prank. Don’t these sorts of directives come down as official notices?

  21. mikee Says:

    Eventually this will leak over from the Marines to the Army. Most things about being a soldier do, eventually.

    Time to add another item to Skippy’s List, I guess….

    http://skippyslist.com/list/

  22. chris Says:

    Allah ahkbar!!!

  23. Timmeehh Says:

    I doubt this is true. The blog “Battle Rattle” has been pulled.

  24. Justthisguy Says:

    So, then. I reckon this means that lighting them is just Right Out, then?

    Protip: When lighting farts, it’s always safest to be wearing wet swimming trunks. this helps avoid the dreaded blowback.

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