Getting back at TSA
Restaurant at Seattle airport refuses to serve TSA agents:
She says that whenever a TSA agent attempts to dine at the restaurant, “we turn our backs and completely ignore them, and tell them to leave… Their kind aren’t welcomed in our establishment.”
The restaurant claims that 90% of its patrons are in agreement with their stance and that the local police have actually helped escort TSA workers of the premises.
Hell yeah.
Update: Seems no one can locate the restaurant that is doing this. Could be a hoax. Still, that this story took off seems to indicate it struck a nerve.
February 23rd, 2011 at 3:11 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in airport “security”, I feel sorry for most TSA personel. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of perverts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the TSA fires you!?
February 23rd, 2011 at 3:19 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Boston, I feel sorry for all those Redcoats. They didn’t ask for any of this, and they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a few real control freaks (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing, or losing their job.
and seriously, where are you going to go if you get drummed out of the ranks of the King’s army?
February 23rd, 2011 at 3:34 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Germany, I feel sorry for all those Nazis. They didn’t ask for any of this, and they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a few real control freaks (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing, or losing their job.
and seriously, where are you going to go if you get fired from a concentration camp?
February 23rd, 2011 at 3:42 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments on Alderran, I feel sorry for all those stormtroopers. They didn’t ask for any of this and they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and wookie now hates their ass.
Aside from a few real sith lords (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire Empire against their choosing, or being frozen in carbonite.
And seriously, were are you going to go if you get choked to death on the bridge of a start destroyer?
PS: I wonder if the restaurant will serve my droids?
February 23rd, 2011 at 4:12 pm
(Alarm goes off near entrance)
BARTENDER: We don’t serve their kind here!
Luke still recovering from the shock of seeing so many outlandish creatures, doesn’t quite catch the bartender’s drift.
LUKE: What?
BARTENDER: Your TSAs. They’ll have to wait outside. We don’t want them here.
Luke looks at old Ben, who is busy talking to one of the Galactic pirates. He notices several of the gruesome creatures along the bar are giving him a very unfriendly glare. Luke pats his tall TSA on the shoulder.
LUKE: Listen, why don’t you wait out by the
Body Scanner. We don’t want any trouble.
THREEPIO: I heartily agree with you sir.
Threepio and his stubby partner go outside and most of the creatures at the bar go back to their drinks.
February 23rd, 2011 at 4:12 pm
So full of win…
February 23rd, 2011 at 4:53 pm
February 23rd, 2011 at 5:25 pm
This comment thread is comedy gold.
February 23rd, 2011 at 5:36 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Wisconsin, I feel sorry for most Democrats. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of marxists (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the Union fires you!?
February 23rd, 2011 at 5:46 pm
and seriously, where are you going to go if the Union fires you!?
Run for political office…
February 23rd, 2011 at 6:00 pm
If the union fires you, you won’t win a political office, at least not as a Democrat.
February 23rd, 2011 at 6:04 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Congress, I feel sorry for most Congressmen. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of perverts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between actually doing what the American people want them to do; fix the economy and the .Gov or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the voters in your district recall you!?
February 23rd, 2011 at 6:56 pm
This comments thread is so filled with excellence that it’s in danger of falling into a Black Hole of Excellence.
Well played, everyone.
February 23rd, 2011 at 7:20 pm
As much as I hate the recent development in Hillary Clinton’s marriage, I feel sorry for her. She didn’t ask for any of it, and probably realizes how pointless her work is and that every man and his dog now hates her ass.
Aside from some perks, she just couldn’t get past the waiting room with old magazines outside their bedroom, his habit of hollaring ‘next’, and the fact that she was never invited to the annual “Night of 100 Interns”, but seriously how much work as a litigator is there in Toad Suck, Arkansas?
February 23rd, 2011 at 8:27 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in politics, I feel sorry for most of today’s liberals. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their lives are, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of perverts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling “medical” marijuana all day and tuning out, or losing their access to the Huffington Post.
February 23rd, 2011 at 8:47 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments on the Mexican border, I feel sorry for some ATF agents. They didn’t ask for any of this. They probably realize just how pointless their work is, and that every man and his dog now hates their asses.
Aside from a majority of sociopathic sadists, (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) some of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing because it beats working for a living, or sleeping under bridges.
And seriously, where are you going to go if your only job skills are lying, bullying (when not goofing off) stomping kittens to death, and destroying valuable property?
February 23rd, 2011 at 8:49 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in airport “security theater”, I feel sorry for most passengers. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how futile their resistance is, and every weirdo blue-gloved TSA agent now grabs their ass.
Aside from a couple of perverts (who like it pretty much everywhere), most of these poor suckers get to choose between flashing for the nudy camera with the entire open hand against their “crotchals” or losing their boarding pass.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the TSA says you ain’t goin’!?
Getting to know you….
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Suzanne has killed the thread with a perfect noble unbeatable artistically correct ending which refers back to the beginning. Don’t none of y’all try to improve on perfection, hear?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:25 pm
As much as I love the recent developments in the comments, I feel sorry for the original commenter. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably didn’t realize just how silly that comment was, and every man and his dog now is laughing their ass off.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:27 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in common sense firearms regulations, I feel sorry for most ATF agents. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man now hates their ass. Every man’s dog hated their ass too, but they shot him.
Aside from a couple of anti-2A jerks (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire abuse thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the ATF fires you then shoots your dog, too!?
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:59 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in Mordor, I feel sorry for most Orcs. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man (and dwarf, elf, and hobbit) and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a few Uruk-hai (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire hoarde against their choosing or being eaten by their comrades.
And seriously, where are you going to go if Sauron loses the War of the Ring?
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:16 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in preschools, I feel sorry for Pedobear. He didn’t ask for any of this, and he probably realizes just how pointless his work is, and every man and dog now hates his ass.
Aside from a few real perverts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) this guy gets to choose between rolling with the entire thing against his choosing, or losing his job.
and seriously, where are you going to go if you get fired from a preschool?
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:24 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments in The Universe, I feel sorry for God. He didn’t ask for any of this, and he probably realizes just how pointless his work is, and Satan now hates his ass.
Aside from a few false gods (who are to be found pretty much everywhere) this guy gets to choose between rolling with the entire thing against his choosing, or ending the world.
And seriously, where are you going to go if you get destroyed by those beings that you create?
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:25 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments at Shermer High School, I feel sorry for most of them – a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless school is, and every school official from the Dean to the janitor now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of loose screws (that are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between sacrificing a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was they did wrong or giving up college and pursuing a career in the custodial arts.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the school expels you?
Sincerely, The Breakfast Club.
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:54 pm
As much as I hate the recent developments on Miranda, I feel sorry for most Alliance Operatives. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is (well…after some totally safe G-23 Paxilon Hydrochloride was introduced into the Miranda food supply…), and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a few Companions (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of those guys get to choose between rolling with the entire Alliance against their choosing or being raped to death, eaten, and have their skins sewn into Reaver clothing – and if they’re very very lucky, in that order.
And seriously, where are you going to go if the Alliance boards your boat in the black?
February 23rd, 2011 at 11:00 pm
This comment thread wins the internet. I have nothing to add.
Because as much as I love this thread, I have to feel sorry for rest of the internet. It didn’t ask to be hit with this much awesome.
February 23rd, 2011 at 11:39 pm
As much as I enjoy reading the latest posts on the internet, I feel sorry for millions and billions of internet surfers. They don’t know about this awesome thread, they probably don’t even know how pointless their other reading is, and every man and his dog looks down on them for their ignorance.
Aside from millions and billions of people without internet access, (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between actually working on company time or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if somebody fires you!? (It’s not like there are millions and billions of jobs out there!)
February 24th, 2011 at 12:02 am
As much as I hate all of the drug and human smuggling in Arizona, I feel sorry for the coyotes. They didn’t ask for any of this, they just wanted to do the jobs that American citizens won’t do.
Aside from a couple of Mexican Army deserters (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between murdering border patrol agents or having to carry an extra kilo of pot in their pack.
…
and seriously, where are your relatives going to find your severed head when the Sinaloans realize you’ve been working with ATF!?
February 24th, 2011 at 12:13 am
About fricken time!The more “we the people” stand up to this crap the better.
February 24th, 2011 at 12:26 am
As much as I hate the recent developments at Rorke’s Drift, I feel sorry for most Zulu Warriors. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Preacher and his daughter now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of blood thirsty savages (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if a Martini-Henry fires into you!?
February 24th, 2011 at 12:26 am
As much as I hate the recent events at Hogwarts
I feel sorry for the Death Eaters, They didn’t ask for this, and they probably realize just how pointless their work is.
Aside from a few Voldmorts (who are to be found pretty much everywhere)
What are you going to do when you have to choose between waiving magic wands and killing people or being killed
…
and seriously what are you going to do if you have to face the dark lords wrath?
February 24th, 2011 at 12:34 am
Hard to drink serious when there is so much snark talent to read.
Bravo.
February 24th, 2011 at 12:35 am
As much as I hate having spaceships hovering over all our major cities, I feel sorry for most V invaders. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of head chomping killers (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their humanlike skins slowly and painfully.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the lizard queen skins you!?
February 24th, 2011 at 12:43 am
As much as I hate child molestation, I feel sorry for most priests. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of choir boy Casanovas (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their entirely paid for existence.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the Church won’t hide you!?
February 24th, 2011 at 12:44 am
As much as I hate the recent developments at Golgotha, I feel sorry for most Roman Sentries. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Apostle now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Bureaucratic Prefects (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to hide if you kill the Messiah.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:05 am
As much as I hate the recent developments with DOMA, I feel sorry for most queer bashers. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man and his boy now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of sadistic killers (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their manhood.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the good ole boys kick you out?
February 24th, 2011 at 1:07 am
If TSA agents hate their crappy jobs, they should earn their GEDs and find better work.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:09 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in Afghanistan, I feel sorry for most Taliban. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and pretty much the entire world now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Radical Imams and Caliph Wannabees (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, what are going to do if you can’t even get chosen to go on a martyr mission?
February 24th, 2011 at 1:11 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in human trafficking I feel sorry for most pimps. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every woman and her mother now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of kidnapping thugs (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their bling bling.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the ho’s don’t show?
February 24th, 2011 at 1:19 am
Sunshine, yer hobby-horse is showing. This is a gun-nerd blog, and the gun-nerd hobby-horse is the preferred one here.
Owhell, be that way. I think I’ll go recruit an autistic smartass I know, to rag on the neurotypicals.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:25 am
I hate to buzzkill the thread, but the SEA TSA deserve it and more. My wife flew through there a couple of years ago and a TSA agent took $400 of artist’s oil paint out of her luggage because it was “dangerous material.” Apparently they have a box in the breakroom for stuff they seize, and the TSA employees get to “take it home” so it doesn’t go to waste. They have no shame. F ’em.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:27 am
As much as I hate the recent developments on Cybertron, I feel sorry for most Decepticons. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man, Autobot, and dog now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of megalomaniacs (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their spark.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:28 am
That’s silly — it’s like not serving flight attendants at the airport because flights are late. The TSA folks just have a job, they didn’t design it, they have few options on how the execute it. If she means they should just not take the job, that’s even worse.
Sunshine and anon, take it away: “That’s just silly — it’s like not serving ____ because ___ are ___.
Anyway, it’s silly.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:41 am
The TSA are the Stalinists who demand internal passports, fondle children, and rape the dignity of American travellers. They deserve no pity, and no mercy. Let them stew in their own juices. If the TSA want to be fed, they can go home. Or to hell.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:46 am
Hillbilly gets the Dave Barry Award.
February 24th, 2011 at 1:49 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in the Emerald City, I feel sorry for most flying monkeys. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every girl and her dog Toto now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of Munchkins (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these monkeys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the Wicked Witch of the West fires you!?
February 24th, 2011 at 2:11 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in Château d’If, I feel sorry for most of the guards. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every man unjustly imprisoned in an iron mask now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of corrupt prosecutors(who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these guys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their job.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if the Bonapartists retake power!?
February 24th, 2011 at 2:13 am
As much as I hate the recent developments in this blog, I feel sorry for most people with no sense of humor. They didn’t ask for any of this, they probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every commenter and their little dog too now hates their ass.
Aside from a couple of spoilsports (who are to be found pretty much everywhere), most of these monkeys get to choose between rolling with the entire thing against their choosing or losing their credibility.
…
and seriously, where are you going to go if you don’t get the joke?
February 24th, 2011 at 2:20 am
As much as I hate recent developments in Libya….oh, the hell with it, just shoot Kadaffy and promote his corpse to Brigadier General and bury his sorry ass.
February 24th, 2011 at 2:20 am
AS much as I hate recent developments in the time-space continuum, I feel sorry for most Daleks. They didn’t ask for any of this. They probably realize just how pointless their work is, and every Time Lord and his K-9 hates their a**.
Aside from a couple of Skaro cultists, most of these guys get to choose between “Exterminate! Exterminate!,” or losing their jobs to Cybermen.
And seriously, where are you going to go if The Doctor shows up in his TARDIS?