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US Department of Education Needs 27 Short-Barreled Shotguns

For serious:

The U.S. Department of Education (ED) intends to purchase twenty-seven (27) REMINGTON BRAND MODEL 870 POLICE 12/14P MOD GRWC XS4 KXCS SF. RAMAC #24587 GAUGE: 12 BARREL: 14″ – PARKERIZED CHOKE: MODIFIED SIGHTS: GHOST RING REAR WILSON COMBAT; FRONT – XS CONTOUR BEAD SIGHT STOCK: KNOXX REDUCE RECOIL ADJUSTABLE STOCK FORE-END: SPEEDFEED SPORT-SOLID – 14″ LOP are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

Uhm, why?

25 Responses to “US Department of Education Needs 27 Short-Barreled Shotguns”

  1. Lyle Says:

    It appears at least someone thinks violence IS the answer sometimes, and that “sawed off” shotguns really DO have a militia or a defensive purpose.

    Or maybe they’re for high school shooting team three-gun competitions. Yeah; that must be it.

  2. monkeyfan Says:

    Homeschoolers?

  3. ka Says:

    “Homeschoolers?”

    They’re going to need more than 27 room sweepers to go after that crowd. Just the kids are better armed, much less the adults.

  4. SoupOrMan Says:

    They’ve got to clear those union teachers out of the rubber rooms somehow!

  5. Zack Says:

    “Uhm, why?”

    … maybe for the Chicago Public Schools…?

  6. Flighterdoc Says:

    27? Not enough

  7. justaguy Says:

    Obviously they want to try and curb truancy.

    “STAY IN SCHOOL OR ELSE” will be the new administrations education campaign

    Hows this going to be sloganed?

    “Get an A or get blown away”
    “I pity da fool who ain’t in school”
    “stay in class or get a cap in da ass”

  8. Jake Says:

    Heck with the shotguns. Why does the Department of Education even have “combat training and protocol?”

  9. Rabbit Says:

    “We’re going to stop this gum chewing in class once and for all!”

  10. ParatrooperJJ Says:

    Dept of Education OIG Special Agents

  11. Dave Says:

    “compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory”

    Um, what? Be interesting to know what kind of hardware they already have

  12. workinwifdakids Says:

    WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, OVER?!

  13. BobG Says:

    They’re trying a new way of enforcing Zero Tolerance policy…

  14. Dave thA Says:

    I hear schoolkids are more rowdy these days…

  15. Sigivald Says:

    For that part of their OIG Investigative Services division that serves search warrants, is the best guess (as ParaJJ mentioned).

    Which also explains “existing inventory” and “combat training and protocol”, which is probably just Government-wide boilerplate for “weapons usin’ trainin’”.

  16. hellferbreakfast Says:

    Keepin’ YOUR kids safe. I Agree, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot ????? Bet they get a SWAT team also.

  17. Tam Says:

    Bet they get a SWAT team also.

    They already have one.

    The days of every federal agency from Education to Veteran’s Affairs having its own warrant service crew are completely out of hand. What’s wrong with using locals? Or the Marshal’s Service?

  18. Billll Says:

    “Anybody else want to tell me the dog ate their homework? No?”

  19. B Smith Says:

    Meh. They’ll just end up leaving half of them in the restrooms (where the dope-smoking thugs will find them.)

  20. Willy Pete Says:

    Nothing to worry about here! Im SURE the Department of Education knows ALL there is to know about teaching gun safety…

    Oh wait, didn’t they ban the NRA’s Eddie Eagle program from the schools because it MIGHT tempt the young un’s to use guns in school?

    And lets be fair, really…How MUCH could a member of the UFT/NEA mafia instruct ANYONE on gun usage/safety when we can’t even get most kids to find the United States on a map of North America?

    /sarc…barely.

  21. deadcenter Says:

    Bet they lose track of them faster than ATF loses their own.

  22. comatus Says:

    Would someone please look up what an Office of Inspector General does in a government department, and then put on the ‘Untouchables’ soundtrack. Thanks.

    You don’t bring a metal-edged ruler to a gunfight.
    Now do you know what a blood-oath is? Good, because you just took one.

  23. Oscar Says:

    All kidding aside, it boils down to two words: “select militia”. Heck, even the Mint has its own SWAT. You know, if you put together all of the FEDGOV’s full-time armed agents, including Quick Reaction/SWAT/Special Purpose personnel, I would lay down good money that it adds up to quite a substantial force.

    Can’t say the Founders didn’t warn us…

  24. Extreme Tolerance Says:

    I wish this was high school shooting teams but you know its the special brand of paranoia that only education bureaucrats can invent.

    My first thought:
    Boys + Girls + Hormones = Crowd Control?

  25. derekcrane Says:

    Gun- free zones for thee.
    12 Gauge shotguns for me.

    The educ. bureaucracy certainly recognizes the value of a gun for their own protection.

    derekcrane

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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