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The FBI thinks you’re a terrorist

Just in time for Starbuck’s appreciation day, comes this: FBI says paying cash for coffee is a sign of terrorist intent

Seems by paying cash for small purchases, you’re trying not to leave a trail. Can we put the grownups in charge?

22 Responses to “The FBI thinks you’re a terrorist”

  1. Mike M. Says:

    If THIS is what the FBI is doing, disband the agency, sell the guns to the general public. The Navy can use the budget.

  2. Barron Barnett Says:

    So if you use cash for large transactions you’re a terrorist. If you use it for small transactions you’re a terrorist.

    Can we just ditch the formalities already and just admit that they think everyone is a terrorist?

  3. gritzly Says:

    Can someone please stop the world. I want to get off.

  4. Kristopher Says:

    The source of the story was those loons at infowars. I followed the links all the way back to their source documents.

    This is the document that infowars has their panties in a wad over:

    Basically just asking people in Internet cafes to watch for internet jihadis, along with some typical police overreaction in that document.

    Their source does not bother to provide a .gov link to the document, so take it with a grain of salt.

  5. comatus Says:

    Why did we spend so much on the New Money, if the FBI can’t even use the embedded tracer tabs? Did Holder remember to tell them about that? Let’s just ask him.

  6. Robb Allen Says:

    I’m a Ramsey Acolyte. If I can’t pay cash for it, I don’t buy it.

    Kinda damned if I do, damned if I don’t, eh?

  7. Bryan S. Says:

    Im with Rob, but often debit.

    You know what, how about we change the scope of the FBI to just investigating the federal government?

  8. Aaron Says:

    If anything, wouldn’t a would-be evildoer intentionally leave a traceable *false trail* ???

  9. Kristopher Says:

    Aaron: exactly.

    The easiest way to send an investigator on a wild goose chase is to mail a credit card to a friend living far away, and have him buy maybe $200 worth of trivial day to day purchases for a month, and then mail the card back to you.

    This also works for someone trying to ditch a stalker … a few random trips to Europe or Asia to chase down phoney leads will quickly exhaust a stalker’s private investigator budget.

  10. Ellen Says:

    I’m quite aware that using a credit card leaves a trail. That’s how I keep track of business travel expenses, and it’s useful in dealing with the IRS. That doesn’t mean I want the FBI or the CIA or ATF or EIEIO to be getting their hands on that info.

  11. SGB Says:

    Wow. Hollywood makes more sense.

  12. Sigivald Says:

    Kristopher beat me to it.

    All the reporting around this has been ridiculous, as usual.

    As it says, not “paying cash for coffee”, but at an internet cafe, a repeat customer who always pays cash, is one thing that might make you want to look twice.

    There’s no there there.

  13. Gerry Says:

    When did Jeff Foxworthy go to work for the FBI?

  14. ATLien Says:

    Re: Internet Cafes- If terrorists are so well funded, why wouldn’t they just use $19.99 DSL instead of risking getting caught in public?

  15. MAJ Mike Says:


  16. Justthisguy Says:

    I won’t even order a book at a book store using my real name. For instance, I don’t want to apply for a job at Books a Million and have someone say, “Wait! You’re the guy who ordered that copy of “Aspergers and Alcohol”!”

  17. Linoge Says:

    Can someone please stop the world. I want to get off.

    I used to not understand what that phrase meant. I want to go back to those days.

  18. HerrBGone Says:

    I’ll second that, Linoge.

    When they start correlating transactions to the point of: If you got gas there at 3:15 and bought coffee over here at 3:35 we’re going to debit you a speeding ticket because it takes 22 minutes to get from there to here at the speed limit… then we’ll know it’s too late. They were actually doing a variation on that on the Maine Turnpike back in the 70’s with time-stamped toll tickets.

  19. mariner Says:

    I’ll third Linoge.

    I paid cash for my new car (when it was new). You shoulda seen the sales manager’s face when I dumped the contents of my backpack on his desk. (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that again. In fact, I may never again be able to buy a new car.)

    And I don’t think I’ve ever paid anything but cash for a cup of coffee at an internet cafe or any other kind.

  20. JKB Says:

    I must admit I pay cash for small purchases for the most nefarious of reasons, at least under this government. I do it to save the business bank fees, especially if it is a small business. I’m an evil capitalist that way.

  21. Aaron Says:


    I like your line of thinking. I’d also like to add that I try to use only small bills at independently owned stores, especially when they’re in a pretty rural area – it’s really tough for them to simply run out and break a twenty or fifty at the bank.
    Every time I pay for a batch of sundries with all ones at a “mom and pop” in the Adirondacks or out in the desert areas of Nevada, I get a smile and a “thank you.”

  22. bob r Says:

    The only time I don’t use cash is if the transaction is not “face to face”. No matter what the amount. And by cash, I mean the fold-able stuff — not a debit card.

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