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Rapture Ready

In case you haven’t heard, the world should end tomorrow. Supposedly via big ass earthquake, which is a bummer because I was hoping for zombies. I mean, I’ll be bummed because I can’t shoot an earthquake. And zombies would at least provide some much needed target practice while the world was ending. And, hey, I can’t take the ammo with me, right?

Some folks are, I kid you not, spending their life savings like there’s no tomorrow because, well, they think there may not actually be a tomorrow. There will be a half-day, I guess. It’s probably a good time for me to just go ahead and buy that GTR or that M3, right? Since I can’t shoot an earthquake, maybe I can out run it.

Also scheduled is some post rapture looting, since some folks won’t be around. Folks are also offering to take care of the departed’s pets for a fee (get it in advance). And there are some folks who want to leave empty clothes on the streets as a gag.

It’s also terribly inconvenient, this Armageddon. I plan on slow-cooking some meat tomorrow and it will be done about the time the sky opens up and the four horsemen of the apocalypse decide to ride around throwing pestilence and famine at me. Famine when I’m cooking a pork roast? So not cool. I think the GTR can outrun horses though since I don’t know of a horse that can get to 60 in 2.9 seconds. But I don’t want to get barbecue sauce in my shiny GTR.

I guess tomorrow one group or the other is going to look stupid.

As for me, if I had that GTR, I wouldn’t be at work right now. But just in case, I guess I’ll get a nice bottle of bourbon.

52 Responses to “Rapture Ready”

  1. Ash Says:

    Every religion has it’s admonishments and scorn for disbelief. It’s a standard feature of religious memes, and certainly not original to your particular flavor.

  2. Ron W Says:


    Yep, and that includes secularism which “has its admonishments and scorn for” belief in things other than its own–belief in non-belief. It’s part of the human condition predicated on “the knowledge of good and evil”.

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