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If only

The Onion:

In a decisive and vulgar 7-2 ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court once again upheld the constitution’s First Amendment this week, calling the freedom of expression among the most “inalienable and important rights that a motherfucker can have.”

3 Responses to “If only”

  1. nk Says:

    “Fuck the draft.” It’s an actual Supreme Court case from the seventies. A guy wore a t-shirt saying that in a California courthouse and was arrested. When the case went to the Supremes, his lawyer was told by the Court that it would not be necessary to use the phrase during oral argument. He did not agree. He said, “Your Honors, this case is about whether “Fuck the Draft” on a t-shirt in a courthouse is protected speech”.

  2. Mikee Says:

    More recently, a principal suppressed a high school student’s banner in the “Bong Hits for Jesus” case (Morse v. Frederick, 551 U.S. 393 (2007)). Because the banner was raised at a school event (although on public property, not at the school) the principal’s actions were upheld as legitimate. The lawyers for the kid argued free speech. I think they should have argued free comedy.

  3. Matt Groom Says:

    This is funny, but in no way accurately represents the 1st Amendment.

    Freedom of Expression is something the court made up to protect the burning of a Publicly owned American Flag in S.C. by a Communist. The S.C. Legislature, upon hearing the case results and the new right, toyed with the idea of making it legal to beat flag burners as freedom of expression, but were more restrained in their actions that the courts. The act, while politically motivated, was not speech and was of public property (a Library’s U.S. Flag) and was in actuality Arson, Destruction of Public Property, and Public Endangerment.

    Freedom of Speech is not freedom of profanity, freedom to produce or use pornography, or to otherwise offend polite society for kicks. If it’s devoid of political or cultural value, and appeals only to prurient interests, it’s really not protected by the 1st Amendment. Don’t get me wrong, I fuckin’ loves me some porno, but I’m under no illusion that the the Founding Fathers would have been cool with it. “Should I take to the streets, or should I just stay home and rub one out?”