You know you’re crazy when even other white supremacists say you’re crazy.

Earth and Venus to collide. In 3.5 billion years.

Shooter IDed as James W. von Brunn. Apparently, anti-Semite white supremacist. Here’s his webpage. Google cache here. Said things about how Hitler screwed up by not gassing enough Jews. Shooter had a shotgun. Was shot by armed guards.

Update: Also tried to arrest Federal Reserve Board of Governors for treason. Was convicted by jury of Negroes (his words, not mine). Sounds like a real piece of work.

Also, a possible truther.

Update: Also, 88 years old.

CNN: Shooting reported at or near U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington.

More:

D.C. police spokeswoman Traci Hughes says a person walked into the museum with a rifle and shot a guard. Hughes says the shooter was also shot.

ETA: Suspect in custody.

Uh oh: Two passengers on doomed Air France jet had names linked to Islamic terror groups

Don’t read too much into it. People have been on lists before for no reason.

A current events quiz, of which I am one of the 6% to score 100%.

Despite the US Government dumping $50B into a company that is too big to fail, GM is filing for bankruptcy. I would think that $50B was to, you know, pay your bills so you wouldn’t go bankrupt. And the best part is the .gov is going to shell out another $30B.

Some guy obviously unclear on what it means to be pro-life decided to walk into a church and shoot a doctor who performs abortions.

Seen at Reason:

A new Gallup Poll claims that for the first time since 1995—when the question was first asked by the organization—most Americans consider themselves to be “pro-life” rather than “pro-choice.”

The rise of suburban survivalists:

These people snapping up everything from water purification tablets to thermal blankets shatter the survivalist stereotype: they are mostly urban professionals with mortgages, SUVs, solid jobs and a twinge of embarrassment about their newfound hobby.

Insty notes that amazon.com has a survivalist community. Deb looks at survivalism too.

MKS: Is the public being misled on economic news?

Tam on Chrysler:

Psssst! Wanna buy a zombie?

Too late, you just did. For $7,200,000,000.

Time:

The paper, published by Cato in April, found that in the five years after personal possession was decriminalized, illegal drug use among teens in Portugal declined and rates of new HIV infections caused by sharing of dirty needles dropped, while the number of people seeking treatment for drug addiction more than doubled.

“Judging by every metric, decriminalization in Portugal has been a resounding success,” says Glenn Greenwald, an attorney, author and fluent Portuguese speaker, who conducted the research. “It has enabled the Portuguese government to manage and control the drug problem far better than virtually every other Western country does.”

Compared to the European Union and the U.S., Portugal’s drug use numbers are impressive. Following decriminalization, Portugal had the lowest rate of lifetime marijuana use in people over 15 in the E.U.: 10%. The most comparable figure in America is in people over 12: 39.8%. Proportionally, more Americans have used cocaine than Portuguese have used marijuana.

And probably fewer instances of police killing old ladies and planting drugs on them too.

ACK looks at the swine flu hysteria.

Whenever “bill of rights” is used a suffix, it usually has nothing to do with rights and is often because someone thinks you’re too stupid to make your own decisions. The latest is the credit card holders’ bill of rights.

Pirate time.

Cruise ship captain issues handguns to crew. Crew fends off pirates.

And if that doesn’t work, pirates can apparently be repelled with deck chairs.

Since it’s going to kill us all unless Dustin Hoffman and Rene Russo do something, you should probably know a bit about it. So, that’s where labrat comes in giving you the skinny on the level ZOMGness.

More facts on N1H1 here.

And here’s a map. News this morning reported a case in Tennessee.

Also, I read an article that Twitter of all things is leading to panic. Ah, the internets. And it’s safe to buy pork products.

Whip: Workers Take Over the Means of Production

No more fishing with grenades in Afghanistan.

So, this week’s killer of all people is swine flu. So, you know, go buy some Tamiflu or something.

This Just in: High Taxes Plus High Unionization Correlates to Joblessness!

The Top 10 Signs You Are Living in a Banana Republic

Funny stuff:

Rightwing Terrorism apparently consists of standing around in a quasi-orderly fashion, waving signs, chatting with neighbors, picking up trash, walking back to the car, and going home.

And you protest because you’re a racist, of course.

Governor reminds folks Texas can leave the union.

I think that makes him a terrorist.

If I showed up at a Tea Party protest with a sign that said something to the effect of Funny how Republicans support limited government when they’re not in power, how do you think that would go over?

Politico:

Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) and a growing number of national security experts are calling on Congress to consider using letters of marque and reprisal, a power written into the Constitution that allows the United States to hire private citizens to keep international waters safe.

Used heavily during the Revolution and the War of 1812, letters of marque serve as official warrants from the government, allowing privateers to seize or destroy enemies, their loot and their vessels in exchange for bounty money.

Or we could just mount a 50 cal on boats. Seems that’d work wonders on a rubber raft.

It’s a big day.

It’s tax rage day.

Buy a gun day.

And I hear there are some protests going on. Details for the one in Knoxville here.

Sadly, I’ll only be participating in the first one.

Didn’t work them into a post, but some stuff:

That thing that Hillary lied and said happened to her? Actually happened to U.S. congressman Donald Payne.

Pirates make the news for taking a US ship. Pirates get killed. It took a few days longer than it should have. Right on cue, the AP comes out says that maybe dealing with pirates like that is a bad idea. They’re such nice guys.

Tax Facts to make your head explode.

How to link to a specific starting point in a YouTube or Google video

Reasoned Discourse^tm

To you and yours.

Domestic dispute over dog goes wrong. Guy says he was afraid of Obama gun ban. So, the logical thing to do was shoot people. Just what we need.

A dozen or so dead.

Geez. It’s not like he kissed him or anything.

DOW up over $8K.

Is violence linked to recession? Looks at mass shootings and such.

But I wonder: Overall, crime went down in the boom years of the 1990s and early 00s. I wonder if overall crime is up now?

A round up of cheery news. Or The I wish it was April Fools post.

Chrysler is toast.

Corker, so far, is the only Senator I’ve seen who gets it:

“I think for all of us who believe in free enterprise, this is the crossing of a major threshold, and it actually should send a chill to people all across the country,” Corker said.

“You know, we have become numb to all the bailouts that are taking place,” he added. “And yet yesterday this administration decided that they know best as it relates to this industry – they’re going to be making decisions about which plants close, which plants stay open.”

Odds the closures go to red states? Well, yeah. Create a dependency class that will vote for you.

The Government to back GM and Chrysler warranties.

Government in your wallet:

The new legislation, the “Pay for Performance Act of 2009,” would impose government controls on the pay of all employees — not just top executives — of companies that have received a capital investment from the U.S. government.

Senate raising FDIC borrowing.

Cheery, eh?

In Michigan:

Brown said that as more people abandon homes, eating away at the city’s tax base and creating more blight, the city might need to examine “shutting down quadrants of the city where we (wouldn’t) provide services.”

From Tam, who notes:

How do you tell somebody “Sorry, civilization is retreating, and unless you want to be left outside the fence, you need to move.”

A bit back, I said they came in threes. And the third one happened. A shooting in a nursing home in NC. Dr. Helen notes that these types attempt to reach out before going nuts. Odd, I think.

Five out of six economists agree that the fed caused the housing bubble. Well, duh. Anyone who paid any attention knew that.

Mexico is getting pretty bad. So bad, that Obama is talking about moving troops to the border. And the piece concludes with talks of Mexico’s problems being a catalyst for gun control. Of course, it’s dogma now.

This with past reports from DOD officials that Mexico is on the verge of collapse do not bode well.

A series of photos that were snapped as a terrorist bomb went off in Sri Lanka.

US banks were forced by the .gov to take the bailout money. Of course, they need you dependent upon them.

Cheerful banking news, including: FDIC’s Bair Says Insurance Fund Could Be Insolvent This Year

Lamar Alexander votes against bill that strips earmarks and for vote-buying.

The solution is what is working so well in California.

I love this hope and change.

Scary:

Thousands of Mexican soldiers pour into the country’s most violent city in crackdown on drug gangs

David Rittgers on weapons that look like assault weapons.

Paul Harvey, dead at age 90.

from New Orleans.

Why understanding math is important.

From Political

Was it something he said?

Seen at Tam’s: Three former Atlanta police officers were sentenced Tuesday to prison terms ranging from five to 10 years for covering up a botched drug raid in which a 92-year-old woman was killed.

Is botched a synonym for shooting her, letting her bleed to death while they found drugs to plant in her home and then forced an informant to corroborate their story?

Ten years?

Five ways you think you’re saving the earth but you’re really not.

Unsurprisingly, the only one benefiting from carbon credits is Al Gore and his earth-fucking boat, earth-fucking house, and earth-fucking trips in private jets to tell us how we have to stop fucking the earth. Kinda funny that the market for those is crashing.

Surprisingly, recycling is not that helpful.

Good rant by Santelli. I’ve made this same point to the hopey changeys too:

You know, they’re pretty much of the notion that you can’t buy your way into prosperity, and if the multiplier that all of these Washington economists are selling us is over 1 that we never have to worry about the economy again. The government should spend a trillion dollars an hour because we’ll get 1.5 trillion back.

Via Tam.

Survivalism continues to go mainstream as Beck and others actually look at various SHTF scenarios.

Saudi Cleric says alcohol in bio-fuels is a sin. Of course it is.

Experts Warn of ‘Terminator’-Style Military-Robot Rebellion. Between that, zombies, face-eating monkeys, global warming and other mythological bogeymen, I wonder what kinda ammo I should stock up on?

I’m sure by now, you’ve all heard of the face-eating monkey attack. I kept waiting and waiting for PETA to issue some stupid statement but it never came. There are reports that PETArds are calling the owner of the chimp and gibbon her a hard time.

Finally, Time Magazine did a report on why the chimp attacked. Turns out, it’s because it’s a fucking chimp. Gee, domesticated wild animals some times lose it, who knew?

Update: People don’t like the puns? It is a matter of gibbon take.

In Orchard Park, a man walked right through an order of protection and beheaded his wife. Said man, being olive-skinned, may have committed an honor killing. This is particularly bad in light of his day job: Muzzammil Hassan is the founder and chief executive officer of Bridges TV, which he launched in 2004, amid hopes that it would help portray Muslims in a more positive light.

KAG ponders the differentiation between domestic violence and honor killings. Personally, don’t care if there’s a difference. A murderous psychopath is a murderous psychopath.

Update: And If a Mormon had done this, it would be all over the news. Or a Baptist.

All this survivalist talk lately. Most folks seem to be nonplussed by it, except grocery clerks.

Good point: The thing about being a survivalist kook and stockpiling gold, guns, and food is that there’s no downside. Even if you’re wrong, you’ve still got gold, guns, and food

Heh.

Dow drops 200 points in first 30 minutes. Must be that hope and change in the air.

ABC News:

“Criminal gangs commit as much as 80 percent of the crime in many communities, according to law enforcement officials throughout the nation,” the report notes as part of its key findings. “Typical gang-related crimes include alien smuggling, armed robbery, assault, auto theft, drug trafficking, extortion, fraud, home invasions, identity theft, murder and weapons trafficking.”

So, 0.3125% of the population is responsible for 80% of crimes?

Fixed it for them.

Les said: This would be a good weekend for the FDIC to shut down banks

Then later, four shut down.

Fannie and Freddie had little to do with it. The CRA, even less.

[I originally had the full post mirrored to this site, but rather than monopolize Uncle's front page, I figured I'd just redirect you to Lean Left.]

Charles Darwin and Abraham Lincoln — two of the most vilified historical figures in the South and not anywhere else* — were both born on the same day: exactly 200 years ago today. Don’t tell Malcolm Gladwell!

* fixed it for you – love Uncle.

CNBC is currently running a documentary entitled House of Cards on how we got into the economic mess we currently face. So far, it’s quite good. If you’ve missed it, it’s repeating at midnight Eastern time (11 PM Central). I’ve set the TiVo to catch the repeat.

UPDATE: Another review here.

Texas is drafting a plan to deal with Mexico’s potential collapse.

Tam brings the snark:

CNN would like to remind you over and over and over that Sarah Palin hates poor sepia-toned people almost as much as George W. Bush hates poor black ones. But Barry loves frozen rednecks.

Not just for drivers anymore.

From Cracked: 5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy

We’re screwed. Mind you, earlier reports noted how the senate’s phones were shut down due to all the calls from people opposing the bill. Yet, they did it anyway. Remember that.

A groundhog bit Michael Bloomberg. In response, Bloomberg called for sweeping legislation to require that all groundhogs be rounded up and vaccinated. He also began a series of lawsuits aimed at suing groundhogs in other states. Word is he will also ban smoking in the boroughs.

Bad pun intended.

Randy Neal at KnoxViews has a good catch today. His advice? Get a room.

Thus begins the Haslam love-a-thon. Can action figures be far off? I want the cowboy one with the six gun.

Even the most jaded reader will get a little verklempt as Metro Pulse commenter Joe Sullivan writes, “Yet for me the rewards of having someone of Bill Haslam’s caliber as governor outweigh the risks of a temporary dislocation of city government.”

He had me at caliber.

What if they had inflation and nobody came?

If you think money is cheap now, just wait. If this keeps up, it won’t be worth a dime.

Iceland’s government collapses despite an international financial bailout. Kinda scary.

In Belgium, a mass stabbing. This one at a daycare. And one reported earlier at VT.

Ya know, I’m one who is on record as stating that abortion should stay legal. But this ad is one of the more powerful ads I’ve ever seen.

Another murder at VT.

And their mass notification system worked. 45 minutes after the incident.

GSG 1911 22LR pistol.

S&W SW99.

LMT MRP QCB Gas Piston/Op-Rod Carbines and SBRs in 5.56mm and 6.8mm

Kel Tec P32.

I can’t decide if it’s the all the hope or all the change.

Today is inauguration day. A new president. A historic first in that a black guy will be president, which is pretty remarkable if you consider the events of the last several decades.

Unfortunately, I think the loyal worshipers are in for disappointment. The high hopes seem unrealistic. The change will be nearly nonexistent. And the guy is gonna have it rough. I mean, several states are bankrupt; Mexico is about to go Tango Uniform; India and Pakistan are having a dick-measuring contest; staple industries are in the crapper; if Hamas doesn’t stop shooting rockets into Israel, the Israelis are going to turn it into a crater; the .gov thinks that printing money and handing it out is going to fix every thing; and on and on. About the only positive I can think is that tomorrow the press will probably stop talking the economy down.

Who’d want the job?

We can all thank George Bush and the six years of Republican-controlled legislature for the biggest, most expensive, most intrusive, and wasteful federal government we’ve ever had. They took it, shook it up, and are now handing it off to their opposition. Good job, guys.

But good luck, Barry. We’re gonna need it.

Turns out, people don’t like everyone looking over their shoulder and a lack of some semblance of privacy.

Very bad behavior in Knoxville. News Sentinel Editor Jack McElroy will have a lot to say for weeks if not months. Yet bad behavior occurs every day on the highways and very few want to ban cars. It could have been a knife or a hammer. Even a two by four piece of lumber. But this is special elixir to the Editor of the News Sentinel.

Will this become a political ploy for the Bloomberg Bunch? Governor hopeful Bill Haslam needs some cover and this is timely. Never mind it doesn’t meet the criteria for the Bloomberg Bunch. It doesn’t have to.

So I’m in the process of a (protracted) kitchen remodel. The big thing is that I’ve turned an old external-storage-room-cum-pantry into a utility room, and moved the washer and dryer from the kitchen into that room. This leaves a large open space in the kitchen where the washer and dryer used to be. My intention is to put additional cabinetry there for storage, but because of the washer and dryer, the space is already plumbed with hot and cold water as well as a drain (all currently capped, since they’re not in use). It seems a shame to waste that plumbing. This plumbing is a little less than four feet away from the kitchen sink, but it independent of that. I’ve got a slab foundation, with no basement or crawl space, so plumbing is rather like gold in my house.

So my question to the bloggy masses is this: What to do with that plumbing? My ideas so far are these:

1. Install a small bar sink
2. Move the dishwasher there, and attach it to that plumbing
3. Clean it up, but leave the washer/dryer hookup there, in case for some bizarre reason some future homeowner might want to move the washer and dryer back.
4. Hell with it, just cover over the whole mess with sheetrock and call it good
5. Something else, that I just haven’t thought of yet

Thoughts?

UPDATED: Lookie here, a picture!

You can see the space we’re talking about in the picture. The old washer/dryer plumbing is all the way to the left (partially blocked by plywood), just inside the doorway to the dining room (which, for what it’s worth, is small: 10′x11′). The distance from the edge of the existing sink to the edge of the opening for the w/d plumbing is 44″. Everything in that space can be moved/replaced/whatever (except for the Champagne of Bottled Beers, which my wife and I shall consume forthwith).

Yes, I know the kitchen is filthy, and yes I know that the floor is hideous. (Although I did do the dishes shortly after taking the picture.) It’s my full intention to do a gut remodel when finances allow. At this point, we’re just in the ideas & preliminary design phase.

Oh, and speaking of things not to be wasted, you’ll note the power outlet there — it’s a dedicated 110V outlet for the washer. Obscured from view by the microwave is a dedicated 220V outlet that had been used by the dryer. Be a shame to waste those power drops, too, although I have no earthly idea what I might do with them.

Or Is Lenny Bruce not afraid?

Have you noticed it’s kinda end of the worldy out there lately? Let’s sum up:

Supervolcanos might kill us all.

We have pirates.

I haven’t checked but there’s probably some object in space headed toward us with a one in some big number chance of hitting us (there always is, look it up).

A war in Israel.

A potential war between nuclear powers Pakistan and India. And much like giant space objects, there’s always a one in some big number chance of that happening.

The press reports that economically ZOMFG we’re all gonna die.

Big business in the toilet. Staples of our economy going tits up.

Bailouts in which our leaders think they can print money and get us out of it.

Some Russian is predicting the collapse of the USA from civil war. For the record, no way Tennessee is going with the European Union. We’re going with Texas or else there would be an intrastate civil war.

Out going president who, depending on who you talk to, is the savior of the free world or the anti-Christ.

Incoming president who, depending on who you talk to, is the savior of the free world or the anti-Christ.

I’m sure there’s more I’m leaving out. But the times, they are interesting. I mean, I don’t see like full fledged end of the world happening. But we’ve been on edge over less.

At least everyone seems pretty calm about all of it. Probably because everyone is buying guns.

He says don’t be selfish and help those who live in places where the basics needed for survival are missing. He said this from an extravagant mantle, on a gold throne with jewels, wearing a priceless gold cross, and some expensive clothes.

Good message there, chief.

Print copies of license plates of people you don’t like on glossy paper. Attach them to your car. Run red lights.

Interest rates are so low that money is almost free. I guess they’ll soon be paying us to borrow.

Are you refinancing now? Or waiting? Or have no plans to do so? Hmm, sounds like a job for a poll:

Update: Will lower interest rates help adjustable rate mortgage holders?

Hilzoy:

[I] was absolutely thrilled by one fact in this post: the claim that Obama and his team do not plan to use the word ‘czar’.

Thank heavens. We’ve had drug czars, energy czars; we may yet get a car czar. I’m tired of czars. And why czars, anyways? They didn’t do all that well in Russia, as far as I can tell. If we have to go against our democratic traditions, why not an Imperator, or a Pharoah Pharaoh (oops), or a Basileus, or a Mikado? For that matter, why not an Energy Yang di-Pertuan Agong, or an Oba of Energy, or an Energy Tlatoani?

Personally, I think we should just embrace the silliness of all these titles and designate Carol Browner our new Grand Energy Poobah.

Seen at Fark: Atlanta police push for end of Citizen’s Review Board. Board pushes for end of the police shooting old ladies and lying about it.

Story here.

Hoochie momma, this is strong stuff.

DECEMBER 9–The criminal complaint filed today against Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich contains a remarkable section detailing the Democratic politician’s alleged attempt to cash in on his ability to fill the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.

Attached to the U.S. District Court complaint is an FBI affidavit, excerpted below, alleging that Blagojevich was caught on wiretaps noting that the Senate seat “is a fucking valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.” He was also recorded saying that unless “I get something real good,” he would appoint himself to the vacancy. “I’m going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I’m saying. And if I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself.”

According to surreptitiously recorded conversations, Blagojevich spoke with associates about the possibility of trading the Senate post for either an ambassadorship or a Cabinet post. The politician, according to the affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Daniel Cain, “analogized his situation to that of a sports agent shopping a potential free agent to various teams.” During a wiretapped November 10 call, a frustrated and financially strapped Blagojevich referred to Obama as a “motherfucker” and said that he would not appoint an ally of the President-elect to the Senate vacancy if “I don’t get anything.” Referring to Obama, Blagojevich exclaimed, “Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.”

In a November 11 conversation, Blagojevich remarked that he knew Obama wanted Valerie Jarrett, a longtime confidante, to succeed him, “but they’re not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them.”

Careful, they’re everywhere.

Ford CEO Alan Mulally said he’ll work for $1 per year if the company has to take any government loan money.

He’s big into cars:

Market capitalization of General Motors: $3.2 billion.

Market capitalization of Mattel, Inc.: $4.9 billion.

To you and yours.

And now, I must bake.

Update: Mmmmm, deer head.

In the debate about whether to bail out the Big Three automakers or let them go into Chapter 11 (an issue about which I’m still genuinely on the fence), one of the commonly-repeated talking points I keep hearing from the anti-bailout crowd is that Chapter 11 would allow the automakers to “dispose of legacy costs.” It’s pretty clear what that actually means, however, and why the Chapter 11 proponents don’t want to call it what it is: Screwing the pensioners.

Now some will doubtless object that the federal pension insurance will cover the pensioners, but there are two problems with this. First, this insurance will only pay a fraction of what the pensioners are currently receiving, and secondly, it makes those payments on the taxpayer dime, which means that from that perspective, we’re screwing both the pensioners and the taxpayers.

Now maybe this is unavoidable at this point — maybe the pensioners can’t fully be saved. I don’t know. But when we’re talking about real people, real benefits, and real jobs, we should at least be honest about what it is we’re talking about doing.

Sen. Richard Shelby:

I don’t think they have immediate plans to change their model, which is a model of failure. I think a lot of it will be life support. I believe their best option would be some type of Chapter 11 bankruptcy … These leaders have been failures and they need to go.

Really? I was gonna go with unsustainable labor costs.

Update: Union busting? In this case, I think unions are culpable. Paying more than 2.5 times the national average hourly wage for low-skilled labor is simply an unsustainable and uncompetitive cost structure.

Seems to me that both parties are demagoguing the holy shit out of GM’s woes and what, if anything, to do about them. Speaking for myself, I’m open to being convinced in any direction. On the one hand, I’m not in love with the idea of bailing out a company that has made mistake after mistake after mistake and whose business model is almost certainly unsustainable; on the other hand, I’m not eager to screw a bunch of workers and pensioners out of their retirements or do away with the country’s 8th largest employer, either. So what to do?

Blindly partisan crap from either side need not apply. I’m looking for even-handed, well-reasoned arguments about what to do, not demagoguery. Anyone aware of some good essays?

UPDATE: The consensus here, unsurprisingly, has been to let GM fail. Kevin at Lean Left argues in favor of a GM bailout. Check it out.

Or is it time to buy now? Stocks and markets have dropped, so if you have retirement account, should you buy now or wait? Just curious.

Meanwhile, here’s a tale of how incompetence saved me an assload of money. My employer uses a processing company to handle all things payroll, to include retirement. These folks are completely incompetent. They will, without fail, screw up anything they are asked to do. They’ll either over do it or not do it at all or form a committee to do it that will then forget why they formed the committee anyway and that will result in them doing something else completely unrelated to the current task. Anyhoo, a bit back I rolled over an account and specified which fund I wanted the roll over to go into. After the market hit the shitter, I was scared to look. One day, I finally manned up and looked at the damage to discover that I had not only not lost any money but had actually received a fairly health rate of return. I checked the particular fund’s webpage and noted that it had lost a ton of money. I was confused as to how that happened. Turns out, they put my rollover in the wrong fund even though I specified. They’d put it in a municipal bond fund. So, I made some modest gains. Their incompetence saved me a chunk of change.

Say you make shoes out of cheap plastic. And they’re popular. I honestly can’t see them costing more than $10 to make (probably less with cheap Chinese labor). And they sell for $40. How do you lose $148M in one quarter?

Note: I love my Crocs Mammoth, and the kids like them too.

Yes, I mean you. Right now.

I’d like to thank my dad for his service to the country.

To my conservative/libertarian friends: Chill the fuck out. It’s a bad day for you — and believe me, after 2000, 2002, and 2004, I know exactly how you feel — but the world doesn’t end because of this election. Remember how you told us, upon the expiration of the AWB, that there wouldn’t be blood in the streets because of that? And remember how you were right? Well, I can tell you: You’re going to get to keep your guns. You’re probably not even going to see a renewal of the AWB — you’ve got enough Senators for a filibuster, and you’ve got Feingold. So you’re going to be fine.

Yes, you’re going to get some liberal social policies that you don’t approve of. Them’s the breaks. But I expect more of a return to the “horror” of the Clinton years than anything like the Carter years. And I expect Obama will waste no time moving to the center and disappointing his leftier base on some issues. So even that won’t be as bad as you might think.

Where to go from here? Use this as an opportunity to do what my party, the Democrats, wasted too much time not doing — you could argue from about 1994 to 2005 — cleaning up your own house. Get rid of the dead weight. Your side should be every bit as embarrassed by the Ted Stephenses as mine should be by the Robert Byrds. And while you’re at it, start lobbying the other party on the issues you care about — if guns are your thing (as they are for so many here), then angle for more Feingold Democrats.

And maybe — just maybe — we can actually see about finding some common ground. And maybe I’m a Chinese jet pilot.^*

Anyway, it’s not the end of the world, and this too shall pass. You’ll get over it. And if you wait long enough, the Democrats will screw themselves, as parties in power always do, and it will once again be your turn to fuck everything up royally.

Note to Uncle: Thanks to outstanding beer bets, we now officially owe each other a beer. I’ll have to make it a point to get to East Tennessee, so we can each drink two beers, and then keep right on a-drinking. And then, after several beers, in the true spirit of the South, go shootin’!
Gloat err, Note to Tam: Where’s your Palin now? “See ya at the polls,” indeed!

^* Bonus points for getting the reference without the benefit of Google.