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What government does

The Second, who is 5 months old, likes to sleep on his belly. He sleeps more soundly and for a longer period of time on his belly. When he sleeps on his back, his naps are short and he gets cranky due to lack of sleep. Trouble is, since he’s a big boy, he has a bit of trouble rolling from his back to his belly. He can roll from his belly to his back just fine. So, when we lay him down for nap time, we place him on his belly. So did daycare. Until two weeks ago.

You see, appropriate sleeping procedures vary from decade to decade. One decade, parents are told baby sleeps on his tummy. The next, it’s on his back. And this flip-flops all the time. That’s what my parents tell me. Apparently, this is the decade where it’s on the back. When The Second first got in daycare, they asked us to fill out a form telling them it was OK to let him sleep on his belly, which we did.

Now, some arbitrary state agency with nothing better to do has decided that parental permission isn’t good enough. No, you see, The Second needs a note from his doctor stating that the daycare staff can put him in his crib on his belly. Yes, that is correct. Let me repeat the stupidity: In order for him to be placed on his belly and get an adequate nap, parental consent isn’t good enough. You need a note from a doctor. If baby rolls on his belly by himself, that’s fine. But he can’t be placed there.

We call the doc and say Hey, doc, this is really stupid but can you sign a note saying it’s OK for the second to be placed on his belly for nap time? Doc says Well, I would but current guidelines say I shouldn’t. So, I can’t really. I’m not sure what guidelines he meant but I’m sure it’s some other arbitrary state agency with nothing better to do.

4 Responses to “What government does”

  1. Rustmeister Says:

    Yeah, that’s the latest theory as to the cause of SIDS.

    No proof, of course.

  2. SayUncle Says:

    And when I was a wee-lad, the latest theory on SIDS was it was sleeping on the back (according to my parents).

  3. SayUncle » Maybe there’s hope Says:

    […] Speaking of what government does, how’s this: When two unshaven men wearing camouflage pants and plaid shirts walked into Cappy’s Chowder House in Camden on Thursday afternoon, owner Johanna Tutone thought she was about to feed a pair of hungry duck hunters. After the men presented badges identifying themselves as federal fish-and-wildlife agents and said they had come for her 150-year-old stuffed gull, Tutone concluded it had to be a prank. […]

  4. Phelps Says:

    It’s the current incarnation of SIDS — “I just put my baby on his belly and he seems to have smothered.” Now that they have covered sleeping on the back and sleeping on the belly, I’m guessing that the next theory will be “some Puerto Rican guy”. (Never mind that sometimes people of any age just die.)

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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