Our first bad word
Junior has this habit now of taking off her clothes. I hope she outgrows it soon or at least before she’s a teenager. She sleeps in jammies that have a zipper and got into the habit of unzipping them before bedtime. The solution to this was a safety pin inserted into the hole of the zipper’s pull tab and attaching it to the fabric of her jammies.
The night before last, I was putting on her jammies when she started flailing about. I was stabbed in the index finger by the safety pin. It hurt and I said quite loudly:
Ow, shit!
Now, I (like most parents) avoid cussing in front of my child. But in this case, I couldn’t help it. See, the safety pin went through one side of my index finger and came out the other. It really, really hurt. And it looked bad. Junior, almost without hesitation, smiled and said quite loudly:
Shit
Actually, she struggles with her Sh sound at this age so it sounded more like Sthit. I thought What have I done? She only said it once and the Mrs. and I didn’t acknowledge that I said it and that she repeated it. So, she didn’t really get too excited about her new word and has not said it since. Good.
February 1st, 2006 at 10:19 am
Wait for it. She’ll repeat it. Most likely in the line at the grocery store.
Which is where my son decided to try out the new word he learned from Daddy.
“Dammit.”
He said it about 50 or 60 times in a row, feeding on the amused looks and chuckles he got from passers-by (an 18-month old is pretty cute even saying “Dammit”).
My wife asked him, in her sternest voice, where he heard that word. He giggled for a second and then ratted me out: “Daddy!”
I got quite the call at the office I can tell you…
February 1st, 2006 at 10:52 am
They are little, living, tape recorders. No doubt about it. The first one my son said back to me was “Daddy, yer draggin ass.”
He wasn’t supposed to have heard that…
February 1st, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Because my daughter isn’t talking yet, I tend to forget she still absorbs everything being said. She never made attempts to walk until one day she just did. No teetering, no unbalance–just began walking like she been at it for months. Based on that, I think she will just start talking when she can speak in full sentences. I suspect her first sentences will be something like, “God damn morons. Can’t drive worth a shit.”
February 1st, 2006 at 1:16 pm
Unc,
One of the funniest things I can remember WRT my son in traffic happened when someone cut us off. I had to stab the brakes and swerve half-out of my lane to avoid Jane Clueless yammering on her cell phone. As soon as he felt the brakes applied and the car swerving, my son pipes up from the back seat: “Daddy! Beep the horn at the idiot”
I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard…
February 1st, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Children are exceptionally good at paying attention to you when you’re not paying attention to yourself. They recognize when you’re putting on your best behavior versus when you’re acting naturally, and they strive to imitate the latter. So they’re going to latch onto everything you do or say when your guard is down.
Good thing it wasn’t me: My interjection would have begun with an F.
February 1st, 2006 at 1:46 pm
So none of you will say it, huh? I have to be the bad guy again? I hope she DOESN’T outgrow it, because that means she will be hitting the right age about the time I plan to turn into a dirty old man. And I’m armed just as well as you! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
February 1st, 2006 at 2:53 pm
I’m told that ‘shit’ was actually my first word. As my uncles like to put it: “Your mom’s got a mouth dirtier than a public shit hole.”
February 1st, 2006 at 3:46 pm
One of Robin Williams’ skits goes like this;
“I’m driving in traffic when I’m cut off. Without thinking I shout “Fuck It!”. From a rocket seat behind me I hear; “Fuck It!”…”Fuck..fuck..fuck it!”.
Later, we were at the park and he’s in his stroller. A little old lady peers in and says; “What a cute little baby.” His response was; “Fuck You!”. “Oh! Must be the Williams boy.” she replied.”
heh. I love that stuff.
I swear constantly. (If you’ve read my stuff you’d know I can build entire sentences out of swear words and insults.) I’d be terrible around kids. I’m like the naughty uncle that teaches them things they shouldn’t do or know. I love it. 🙂
(my apologies if the cursing is insulting – no problem if you edit them.)
February 1st, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Mrs. X kept a worthless little Taco-Bell-dog in the garage for a few days. That little snot nosed dog hated my guts and barked at me every time I walked through. One time I flipped her the bird, only to have Xrlq 2.0 flip me the bird right back. I know, I deserved it.
March 6th, 2006 at 12:24 am
[…] Friday, I was home alone with Junior. Went out to give the dog food and water. As I was gathering the bowls I hear click. Junior had locked me out of the house. I pleaded with her to unlock the door. She just laughed, sat in the floor and took her pants off (yes, she’s still doing that). Fortunately, we have a keypad on the garage that opens the garage door so all I had to do was walk around the house to get in. In the event I hadn’t had said keypad, not sure what I would have done. Call a the police? Locksmith? Tell them my 20 month old locked me out of the house? […]