And it didn’t go as expected

So, I came home expecting the find the family there. They weren’t. I also expected my backdoor to be shut. It wasn’t. Needless to say, this had me concerned. A quick look around and I noticed nothing really out of place but something wasn’t right. I drew my gun in one hand and dove for cover where I deployed my tactical flashlight. And donned my balaclava. Then, I used my tactical flashlight/gun technique to ensure the room was clear. I then went to my AR, ensuring I had appropriate cover that was tactical, because if there’s a gun fight you need a rifle. And I didn’t want to use the handgun since it had a laser because that might give away my position. It’s true, I read it on the internet. I turned on my 8,000 lumen weapon light, peered through my EOTech (also very tactical) and went ahead and deployed my BUIS just in case my EOTech went tango uniform. I wasn’t worried about my 8,000 lumen weapon light giving away my position because if they could see it, it would burn out their eyeballs. Also, very tactical. I then, once again using always cover, swept the house from left to right and top to bottom, making sure I used the latest ninja technique involving a mirror on the gun to turn corners. Satisfied I’d cleared the home of any threats, I then called the Mrs. to tell her what a fucking tactical stud I was. And she said “I must have you now. I’m coming home.”

Ok, so that didn’t happen. What actually happened was I came home expecting the find the family there. They weren’t. I also expected my backdoor to be shut. It wasn’t. Needless to say, this had me concerned. A quick look around and I noticed nothing really out of place but something wasn’t right. I drew my pistol. When I drew the pistol, both the pistol and my CompTac holster came out of my pants at the same time. So, I have a perfectly good gun with a holster around it. Equipment failure in a time of reasonable stress. Good thing I wasn’t in a gun fight. I calmly grabbed the holster by one of the clips and pulled it off the firearm. They didn’t teach me that at gun school. I kept it at my side. I then walked, looking around for anything out of place, to my other pistol. Since it was dark, I wanted the one with the weapon light, which, having both a light and a laser, gives away my position twice.

I then grabbed the phone to call the Mrs. and ask where she was and if she was OK. And to call 911 if I needed to. As I grabbed it, it beeped that I had a text and it was her saying she was on her way. Ok, one less thing to worry about. I walked through my house calmly making sure everything was OK and that no one was there that shouldn’t be. Nothing out of place and no one there. The kids left the door open.

If you decide to through your house making sure everything is OK and you have a laser on the gun, your cats will think it’s a game of chase the red dot the whole time. This is distracting and annoying. They didn’t teach me that at gun school either. I guess if I was really tactical and cleared my house like that, the cats help by being attack cats.