Tour de Franzia
So, for those who don’t know, a local frat boy got dumped at the hospital at dark thirty with a BAC of 0.4 and, per the police, had wounds consistent with sexual assault. 0.4, by the way, is about the point where alcohol starts getting fatal. Anyhoo, the police then went to the frat house where others were passed out, there was a lot of beer, and lots of underage drinking. You know, frat house stuff. Someone at the frat house told the coppers that they were butt chugging, which means they took a bag of wine and used tubing to stick it in their rears. Well, the kid and everyone involved has denied it. Of course he denies it. A confession would mean that he has to admit to:
1) Butt chugging
2) That he actually consumed Franzia
3) He’s gay (see 2 above)
4) He was sexually assaulted by his frat bros in his drunken stupor
Regardless, it makes for the most hilarious press conference I’ve ever seen. A bunch of frat boys in their blue blazers with their lawyer having a presser on butt chugging. Oh, and everyone else is lying. The police, the media and the university.
Quality humor there that you can’t make up. I kept expecting it to be a gag by cracked.com or something.
