Yearly Physical: Post Four Oh
So, I’m 40 for the better part of the year now. And this changes things when you go for the annual physical, which I had today. They want to scope your front and your rear. I told them I had that done already due to some GI issues blogged a bit back. So, no DP from me this year. Then, he was checking out the franks and beans. Satisfied my dudes weren’t hard as rocks (apparently, when dudes get cancer they become less sensitive and hard as rocks so the test is a squeeze to, I suppose, see if you say “ow! fuck!” or not), he then decided to play with frank with a full on fondle asking about abrasions, injuries and so forth. None I would admit to. While doing so, he looks me in the eye and says “any trouble getting erections?” and I say “No. Do you need to see?” Awkward. But funny and I’d so say it again.
Then the doc plays cave explorer in my pooper for a bit. They should at least leave the room after handing you the tissue to wipe the lube off your bum. Kind of odd doing that in front of someone. And, you know, the fact he’s chatting about things with his finger about 100,000 miles up the Hershey highway just before. But, what else are you supposed to do? Then again, what am I supposed to say that doesn’t sound like it came from a porn movie. Also, according to the doc, if all men lived forever, they’d eventually get prostate cancer. Seems producing ejaculate is not real healthy for you. Though, also according to the doc, getting rid of it regularly is.
And I need an eye appointment. Not to check vision but to check for eye cancer and other things.
Getting old is serious business.
The good news is I’m in good health.