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Tactical Sammich

Next time I tell someone to get in the kitchen and make me a sammich, it’s pre-made:

omnomnom

From the folks at CMMG.

15 Responses to “Tactical Sammich”

  1. Jeff Says:

    I don’t eat pre made tactical sammiches unless they come with foregrips, optics, back up optics, back up sights, back up canted sights, and laser range finders. Feh. That’s no tactical sammich. It should at least come in two packs, because two is one and one is none.

  2. Rivrdog Says:

    Good BOB food, but at only 300 calories, doesn’t cut it for a meal. Under high stress, you’d need to eat 4 of those just to keep going for a few hours.

  3. armed_partisan Says:

    It needs tactical bacon.

  4. Tirno Says:

    Jeff, it’s from CMMG. They don’t give you all that stuff. They just provide the tactcial mount points for all those tactical goodies so you can be tactically equipped like a high speed, low drag operator, hua.

    In this case, you mount your tactical mustard, laser cut lettuce, precision tomato, and whatnot to the Battle Ready Extended Accessory Devices.

  5. Weer'd Beard Says:

    That’s what the SEALs snaked on while they dragged out the Bin Laden body bag!

    BTW what’s the Muzzle Velocity and the Drag coefficient on that Sammich?

  6. aeronathan Says:

    CMMG is great. First they produce tactical breakfast, now tactical lunch. Can’t wait to see what tactical supper looks like…

  7. Tirno Says:

    Just a note: there’s no way to be tactical with spaghetti. Or peas. Or any other “many discrete parts yet not conducive to eating with a spoon” food. Based on extensive experience with many presented foods at the Lackland AFB trainee dining facilities, these kinds of foods require too much manipulation to provide the rapid consumption of high energy comestibles needed in tactical situations. To sum up:

    Spaghetti: NOT TACTICAL
    Chili Macaroni: TACTICAL
    Hamburger: TACTICAL
    Big carrots: TACTICAL
    Baby carrots: NOT TACTICAL
    Steak: Regrettably NOT TACTICAL
    Steak strips wrapped in burrito: TACTICAL
    Salad: NOT TACTICAL
    Baked potato: NOT TACTICAL
    Mashed potato: TACTICAL
    Pizza: TACTICAL
    Vegetarian pizza: NOT TACTICAL, POSSIBLY COMMUNIST
    Tofu: COMMUNIST

  8. Standard Mischief Says:

    Boy, CMMG can sure slap a tactical label on an item and tactically up the price!

  9. Standard Mischief Says:

    BTW, here’s the non tactical bacon, just in case you want to print your own gag gift labels or actually want to buy it by the case

  10. Weer'd Beard Says:

    Steak may not be Tactical, but beef jerky is hella tactical!

  11. Jeff from DC Says:

    @Weer’d Beard…wait, is this the meal the Navy Seals that killed Bin Laden ate? I can add this to my HK 416, Sig P226( Navy Edition, of course), and Emerson Commander! I am the ultimate high score hero! .338 Lapua for everyone!!!

  12. Mr Evilwrench Says:

    Wow, a sammich with a detachable high capacity assault magazine clip, pistol grip, bayonet lug, flash suppressor, holographic sight and a shoulder thing that goes up! Yum!

  13. Shootin' Buddy Says:

    “Steak may not be Tactical, but beef jerky is hella tactical!”

    You’re not thinking tactically: cut up the steak, put it in a tortilla=tactical.

  14. Jeff from DC Says:

    Tirno, like all good tactical sammich operators, I need my stuff pre-made. All tactical fixings should be included.

  15. comatus Says:

    Tirno, I appreciate your research on these items, and have some idea of the price one pays for such experimentation. Please thank your digestive tract, or what remains of it, for its Service To Our Nation.

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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