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Under siege

Rampaging raccoons are all the rage: A pack mauls a woman. And blogger raccoon sightings here, here and here.

The better to eat you with: that is one big wolf.

Posted in uncategorized on October 8th, 2009 by SayUncle | RSS 2.0 |

6 Responses to “Under siege”

  1. RAH Says:
    October 8th, 2009 at 11:01 am

    That is not a wolf but photoshopped.

  2. KCSteve Says:
    October 8th, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    I don’t know, smallish guy, larger wolf, use a wide-angle lens to increase the perspective distortion and you don’t need any maniuplation of the image.

    People forget that photographers have been able to uh… add emphasis since long before computers got involved.

    I’ve got a lens wide enough to take a full-height portrait of someone standing right in front of me (literally about 2 – 3 feet). I have – after discussion – used it to take extremely flattering portraits of young women who never knew how endowed they could look.

  3. Oakenheart Says:
    October 8th, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    “I have – after discussion – used it to take extremely flattering portraits of young women who never knew how endowed they could look.”

    Erm- I see no proof of that statement.

    ;P

    🙂

  4. SayUncle Says:
    October 8th, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    Reposted from Mikee because i accidentally hit the delete button:

    I post this reminiscence only because it is absolutely true, and if I submit it for public consideration every few years eventually others will try the same thing and confirm my story as true.

    In 2000 I was living with my wife and two subteens in an apartment (Hard Rock Canyon Apartments)in Austin, TX, as a newly arrived Texas immigrant waiting for our new home to be completed. We were on the 3rd floor, and our balcony looked out over a wooded area in the center of the apartment complex. The first floor balcony two stories down from ours was actually a ground level patio with a railing. The resident there either had a dog or liked to feed the critters, because he kept a large bowl of dog food on his patio/balcony at all times. The local critters would troop up and snack on this dog food every night.

    After finishing a roast chicken dinner one night, we were all bored, and sat on our balcony watching the racoons, opossums, armadillos and skunks below as they shuffled onto the first floor balcony to feed. I was suddenly inspired to try “monkeyfishing” (see here: http://www.opinionjournal.com/best/?id=110006963 ) with a chicken leg and some twine.

    I lowered the baited line down to the critters below. Soon a raccoon was gnawing on the chicken leg. I slowly pulled in the twine, and quickly had a suspended raccoon hanging onto the chicken leg and continuing to gnaw upon it despite his ascent above the ground. Slowly at first, and then with a steadily increasing amplitude, I swung the clinging racoon in a long arc. The raccoon was soon swinging twenty feet or so back and forth, about 3 feet off the ground. I finally lowered the amazing fellow back to earth, and it contentedly continued to eat the chicken leg.

    While raccoons were the best aerialists, opossums and skunks were also taken for airborne rides that night and on many others, by all four of us. Armadillos, alas, were never induced to cling tightly enough to fly. They just leapt up startled when the chicken leg was pulled upwards, and jumped away in alarm.

    I swear this is true, even though James Taranto (see monkeyfishing link above) never acknowledged my email to him about it. If ever I meet him, I shall certainly remind him of these flying raccoons and insist to him that not all tales of amazing animal activity are fictitious.

    One day I shall have to submit the story of my wife and the mouse that was in the house for two nights running….

  5. Lyle Says:
    October 8th, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Video, Mikee. We wants video. “course then PETA would be on your ass about it– giving free amusement rides to wild animals makes them think they can get free rides all the time.

  6. Mikee Says:
    October 9th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    Alas,this tale, like so many incredible but true stories from the days of yesteryear, occurred long before I owned a video camera. Personally, the story of my collie attacking a snake in our yard in the 1960’s, or of my brother’s cocker spaniel finally catching a squirrel, then nearly choking to death on it, are just as good and just as undocumented.
    No proof exists, other than a few contemporary emails and memories held by my wife and kids.

    I am certain that any Austin, Texas, readers who wish to verify my tale can travel to the Hardrock Canyon Apartments in the Arboretum neighborhood, on Jolleyville Road, and try it themselves when the critters gather around any available dog food after dark.

    Good monkeyfishing, my friends….

Remember, I do this to entertain me, not you.

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