Comments on: Messengers of God: inconsiderate pricks

By: nk

nk — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 12:53:30 +0000

I feel sorry for the JWs and Mormons. I smile at them politely, tell them “No, thank you” and just close the door. It’s the Moonies and Hare Krishnas that make me wish I had a dog to sic on them when they accost me at the grocery store parking lot.

By: Joe

Joe — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 04:10:09 +0000

A couple of older women & their teenage daughters came to my door a couple of years back. I told them I could get them $10,000 apeice for their daughters in Mexico. When the rollers work my neighborhood now, they cross the street when they get to my house…..

By: Donna Locke

Donna Locke — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 02:07:51 +0000

As for JW’s, normally holding a beer is all you need to fend them off.

For some reason I let the Witnesses in one time, but they left soon after they saw my Far East temple pressings on the living room wall, but not before admonishing me.

By: Timmeeee

Timmeeee — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 22:16:07 +0000

Whenever I run into those types I just keep repeating the following in a loud and forceful manner :

“Hail Satan, Prince of Darkness, Lord of Evil, Master of the Universe”.

They sometimes look genuinely frightened. Heh. They always shutup and move along.

By: Jay G.

Jay G. — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 20:48:58 +0000

I’m partial to the trusty chainsaw to help get rid of unwanted proselytizers. Nothing says “hands off” like a runnin McCullough…

By: straightarrow

straightarrow — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 20:47:32 +0000

I never did the Rabbit thing, but I did do the Shard thing. As he said, problem solved.

By: KCSteve

KCSteve — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 18:56:39 +0000

Large hairy guy holding large shiny blade seems to get you crossed off the list as well.

By: Rustmeister

Rustmeister — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 18:51:48 +0000

I had a Watchtower sitting in my door when I got home.

Must be an annual membership drive or something

By: _Jon

_Jon — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 18:05:21 +0000

They were in one of my neighborhoods yesterday too.
Must be that time of the month.

When I used to live where they prowled, I used to engage them in debate.
That was fun.

By: Round Rock Mike

Round Rock Mike — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 17:14:45 +0000

Sure they looked like Jehovah’s Witnesses, but at that time of night maybe they were in mufti, scouting out the neighborhood for more nefarious purposes. Did they, for example, try to open the door before you got there, setting off the dog? Like Will Smith said in MIB, after shooting little Suzie during the test phase of his enlistment, (and I paraphrase): “Little 8 year old white girl out in the ghetto late at night, carrying physics books way too old for her – trouble about to happen.”

By: Rabbit

Rabbit — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 17:10:44 +0000

On more than one occasion I’ve discouraged return visits from JW’s and other religious groups by flinging open the door naked and screaming with a bad dog in one hand and a .45 in the other.

It’s a very cathartic experience for all involved, trust me.

Regards,
Rabbit.

By: Shard

Shard — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 16:22:52 +0000

Having tired of being awakened by JWs early Saturday mornings, I answered the door buck naked and asked what I could do for them.

Problem solved.

By: # 9

# 9 — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:58:16 +0000

I had forgotten about El Nino. Good one.

What kind of maniac keeps ringing the doorbell when PID (Politically Incorrect Dog) is trying to take the door off the hinges? They must have God on their side.

By: Linoge

Linoge — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:15:33 +0000

When we lived in Southern Maryland, these guys came by once a week… We started telling them we were druidic fire worshippers… they stopped. I guess their evangelism only goes so far.

That said, I echo Mr. Allen’s sentiments… Being Christian is fine (hell, I am one every once in a while), wanting to spread the word is fine, but doing it by knocking on every door in a neighborhood? Not so fine. And after dark it is just stupid.

By: Robb Allen

Robb Allen — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:00:34 +0000

You know, even as a quasi-religious guy myself, nothing pisses me off more than trying to sell me Jesus. Show up after the sun goes down and I won’t even bother hiding my gun.

As for JW’s, normally holding a beer is all you need to fend them off.