Take peanut butter. As the jar gets used up, usage diminishes proportionally. When it’s half gone, usage starts to lag noticeably. By the time only ten percent remains? No one will touch the stuff for days, even weeks on end. I throw it out, open a new one, and BLAM! the new jar starts emptying right out.

When I turned 7 I went to work. There were three of us, my sister and my mother. We could eat our milk twice a week then. So it wasn’t so bad. I’m with your wife. Not really, go look, she’s still there with you, I just meant I support her position. I have gotten a little better in my old age, but I still can’t throw food away. If I can’t eat it, I find someone or something that can.

In the last few years I have finally got to where I can throw out a sliver of bath soap and open a new one without the old one being completely gone, but I feel guilty about it. I think of how hard my mother worked and how hard I worked to not have enough and the kids I started out with who weren’t strong enough to survive the same type of life and turned bad or died and I feel lucky. But I don’t forget what it was like.

I know you were trying to be humorous and I truly hope that your humor is based in the love I’m sure you feel for your wife. But, just in case she has similar memories, I wouldn’t let her see it, until I knew for sure it wouldn’t hurt.

I apologize for my forwardness. As you can see, this isn’t all that funny to some of us. Though we can appreciate why it might be to those that haven’t been there.

I’ve even bought devices to squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube, and store liquid washing machine soap upside down so I can get one more load out of them in a day or two.

Probably my most uselessly obsessive behavior is the fact that I am aggravated to no end with the wasted solid deodorant in the stick I use…as it gets impossible to use there is still usable deodorant in the crevasses in the push up base. Pisses me off.

Oh, and I save brass too. Even tho I don’t reload.

I love the salad dressing idea!

All-you-can eat Wing Night? Complete opposite. What ever doesn’t come off in three bites isn’t worth my trouble. I just move on to the next one.

Also, save the Grey Poupon jar when you’re down to the “scrapings”. Pour in soe red wine vinegar and shake, cleaning the sides of the bottle. Then add some olive oil, salt, pepper, and crushed garlic or minced shallots.

Instant salad dressing. And you save $0.017 by not tossing that last bit of mustard. Do that 530 times and you’ve saved enough for a bulk-pack of .22 at Wal-mart.