And I’ll invite every woman within 250 miles to do her own measurements!

Women, pack a sensible lunch, point the car to Houston and give me a call. Do your part to counter the birthrate imbalance.

Hey, sometime you just gotta go that extra mile.

The first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem.

Are black males carrying stainless weapons feeling more empowered (by having a faux white male’s penis) than black males carrying blued weapons?

Are white males carrying blued weapons because they subconsciously fear loosing white females to black males with a large penis?

Also, since engine/car size makes a difference:
What about barrel size? Does that fit in anywhere or is it just that if you carry a gun of any barrel size it means you have a small penis?
What about bullet calibur? Does that fit in anywhere or is it just that if you carry a gun of any calibur size it means you have a small penis?

I need to know these things so the next time I go to my local gun dealer to purchase a compensation for my inadequacies, I will know what to order.

-I drive midsize sedan
-my wife drives a V8 powered pickup truck (this really confused the neighbors when we lived in SC)

-BUT I have a very large gun collection

She capped off a couple rounds in his direction without taking the time to determine his exact motivations, but I will acknowledge the probability that the whole situation might not have arisen if the occupant of that apartment had in fact been a male, whatever his endowment.

If I could kill something with my dick from 500 yards away I wouldn’t buy rifles!

Please allow me, sir, to express my deep admiration of the appendage you are evidently able to deploy for self-defense. You must be very proud. I am certain every lady you know feels safer in your presence than with nearly any other man.

My father owns a walking-stick made out of a bull’s penis stretched over an iron rod. Up till now, he has been the only person I know who can, literally, beat off an attacker with his penis.

I admit that my own, personal penis is pitifully inadequate for self-defense purposes.

I agree with you that that women should be left defenseless, since they are anatomically unsuited for it. It makes them so much easier to subdue.

It’s also true that the elderly and handicapped, regardless of size, do not deserve the right to self-defense, since their wang-fu will likely be inadequate for a variety of reasons. We don’t need such human rubbish, anyway.

I admit, I’ve always found it disturbing that the police and military, being unable to find recruits of your mighty dimensions, instead must brand them as the puny weaklings by issuing handguns and, for the truly peanut ranks, rifles.

Congratulation to you again, and I am sure we will hear more of your exploits as you defend your self, your family, your neighbors, and your nation.

I implore you to post the resulting news pictures.

I drive a four cylinder GMC Sonoma that you have to drop two gears to climb the mountain mountain on I-40 down to Chattanooga.

I think “projection” is the word of the day here, gentlemen.

For calculating dick size, do AR uppers count as guns, or only lowers? This is important, dammit.