Comments on: Bullying

By: t3rrible

t3rrible — Wed, 10 May 2006 01:16:13 +0000

wow. I was going to make the same comment as Jon. I am forced alomst daily to be an adult bully. It is amazing how hard it is to get people to make a decision and stand behind it.

I was on the Chris Byrne side of the argument most of my life right through college. I am firm in my belief that if you can walk away do, if not then don’t stop until the deal is done. I think I got more jacked up over stopping or preventing a fight, especially in a college fraternity, that actually being in and winning one. Usually by just using my size to explain to everyone involved that I would end any fight started. And not the way they would like.

By: _Jon

_Jon — Tue, 09 May 2006 20:50:04 +0000

My son was 13 (last year) when he got sent home for pounding the bully on the bus.
He’d been complaining about the bully for a bit, listing minor annoyances to him and others.
I just told him to beat his ass. So that’s what he did.

And he got an adult-rated game for his XBox to pass the time off from school.

Kinda related – I’m an adult bully.
In many situations, I use logic and reason to make my point. But in some situations, that doesn’t work. So I will lean in and make a forceful statement like “Well, this is what I’m gonna need you to do.” It’s pretty effective. But that’s just the way it is. When I need something and I’m tired of talking, I use intimidation. :shrug:

By: Chris Byrne

Chris Byrne — Tue, 09 May 2006 17:15:43 +0000

I was never bullied, though some idiots tried; because I was bigger, stronger, faster, smarter, and MEANER, than jsut about anybody who wanted to set themselves up as a bully anywhere near me as a kid.

This is what happens when you are the size of a third grader when you’re in Kindergarten, and a full grown man (6′2″ 265lbs) by sixth grade.

I was instead the anti-bully. I would beat the hell out of any kid who was bullying other kids. I figured it served the bullys a useful lesson: Remember, there is always someone bigger and meaner than you.

Of course I would let the bullys target get a LITTLE bit of bullying first. After all, we cant go around teaching people that the big strong guys will come to the rescue without you ever getting hurt now can we.

Oh wait, isn’t that what they ARE teaching all these little idiots being raised today…

By: countertop

countertop — Tue, 09 May 2006 14:24:44 +0000

We moved between2nd and 3rd grade into a town that was pretty much rural and blue collar. The fact that we purchased a lot in what was going to become the “rich side of town” made me stick out like a sore thumb when I showed up to school that fall. I was pretty quickly pounced on the first week and my father – being the former green beret he is – took me out and purchased both a punching bag and a speed bag and gave me an intensive weekend of fighting lessons. He also told the mayor what had happened (the mayor was the one who was trying to develop the town and the jerk who beat me up was the son of the mayors former political opponent who had been strongly opposed to newcomers).

Needless to say, I broke Jeff’s nose with one punch Monday morning sending him crying to the nurses office. Wasn’t bullyed ever again.

By: Hooz

Hooz — Tue, 09 May 2006 14:02:27 +0000

I gave similar advice to my oldest son. His first response was he would get in trouble with his teachers. I told him that yes, his teachers wouldn’t be too happy, but that I would back him up and they’d get over it. Also, the bully would most likely leave him alone afterwards. He liked that part.

Bullies do serve a purpose.

Hooz.

By: Rustmeister

Rustmeister — Tue, 09 May 2006 13:36:02 +0000

When I got that advice, my mom chimed in “and if he’s bigger than you, grab a stick and wail on him”

Of course, if I were to tell my son that, and he did it, I’d most likely lose custody and go to jail. As it stands, it’s just the Dadly advice now.

And, I’m with the majority. Bullies most definitely serve a purpose. In addition to all above, it also teaches people that there will always be someone who doesn’t like you, no matter how nice you think you are.

By: #9

#9 — Tue, 09 May 2006 13:29:11 +0000

Sage advice from a wise man.

By: Drake

Drake — Tue, 09 May 2006 12:49:11 +0000

It’s comforting to know that dad advice from that era was pretty much consistant. Don’t start it, but finish it, the advice about the thumbs, vulnerable bully spots. etc.

By: Tom

Tom — Tue, 09 May 2006 12:05:45 +0000

“In today�s world, I don�t know of any parents that would offer that advice to kids.”

I’m 27 (so childhood wasn’t all that long ago), and I got exactly that advice. My parents always told me if I got into a fight and I told them the truth afterwards that (assuming I didn’t start it, which was part of the deal) they would be behind me 100% against all comers whether they be Principles, Superintendents or police.

I certainly hope that parents these days still tell their kids the same things. When I have kids I sure as hell plan to.

As for bullies serving a purpose, of course they do. Sports teach us that we can compete, really really hard, on a fair field of play against people and shake hands afterwards. Bullies teach us that some fights aren’t fair and have only one rule…win. If you don’t learn that rule as a child (and how to tell the difference between the two situations) you stand a dang good chance of turning out to be a wuss or a psychopath. Thanks, be we’ve already got more than enough of both.

By: Ravenwood

Ravenwood — Tue, 09 May 2006 11:41:42 +0000

It’s the classic good vs. evil fight. If you don’t defend yourself, there will always be someone there to take advantage. Whether it be not securing your computer, not locking your car, or walking down dark alleys at night. There are predators and there are prey. That is a fact of life you cannot change.

I was taught similar lessons from my father. Once I was beat up by 3 or 4 guys. My dad told me next time to grab a stick, a pipe, or some rocks if I had to. He said I should threaten to at least take a few of them with me. That might make them leave me alone.

No matter the situation, you have to stand up to predators. Make them want to go find easier prey.

By: bob

bob — Tue, 09 May 2006 05:22:15 +0000

One of the lead engineers where I work has a saying: “Everything serves a purpose. Sometimes the only purpose is to serve as a bad example.”

Bullies have the “bad example” part down pat; they also teach a few of life’s other lessons. One of those lessons is (when carried though to its conclusion) that, given the “right” environment, we’ll end up with Nazis. Another is that it is easier to knock them down a notch or two immediately rather than put off the inevitable and have a bigger problem later (e.g., Nazis).

Hyperbole about Nazis aside, bullies really do serve as part of the education of the well rounded person. A kid that never gets the chance to observe a bully in action has a hell of a shock coming when the adult world sneaks up on him.

By: SayUncle

SayUncle — Tue, 09 May 2006 04:28:16 +0000

Would you have felt better had I said ‘we can learn from bullies’?

By: Chris Wage

Chris Wage — Tue, 09 May 2006 04:26:55 +0000

Bullies serve a purpose. Sure, they’re a pain in the ass but they teach valuable life lessons

Sorry, but this is a stupid premise. That’s like saying “Nazis serve a purpose. They teach valuable lessons in concentration-camp survival.”

Yes, I realize I’ve just forfeited via Godwin’s Law, but you know what? It felt good, and I’d do it again.

I agree with most of the rest of your post, but come on. “Bullies serve a purpose”? No.